'D'P has stolen all the DC's money

[thatwasprettylow]

Namechanged for this - I'd appreciate some advice, please. I'll try not to dripfeed but it's a long story so I'll have to annotate.

Basically, DP has a long history of being utterly hopeless with money. He seems totally incapable of spending money on things like bills, and squanders it on I know not what, to the extent that I've wondered if he's got a gambling addiction or something that I don't know about. This hasn't been helped by the fact that his work over the last few years has been really erratic. We've been really struggling money-wise for a few years now.

Last week I went to the bank to pay in some money that the children were given for Christmas and DS's January birthday and was told that DS's account had been closed. I assumed that the bank had just screwed up somehow, as the DC's accounts are Trust accounts and are supposed to require 3 signatures (DP's mine and my DMum's) for any withdrawals. The woman from the bank poked about a bit and said she'd ring me back, but didn't, so I asked my DMum to pop in when she was passing and see if they had sorted it.

A few days later, last Thursday, 'D'P 'confessed' to me that he somehow linked his account online to the DS's account and has, over a period of time, drained DS's account and spent all the money (about 10k). The bank had contacted him and warned him that we were inquiring about it. I told him to leave the house and called the bank, who confirmed that he has also drained DD's account.

I can't believe he's done this - I have no idea what to say to him or to the DCs, who are still quite little (6 and 2). Apart from that, I need to sort out logistics, as DP usually does the childcare while I'm at work.

He has sent me a text saying 'please can we resolve this?', as if a quick chat will sort it out. I don't want to see him - I just don't think there's anything he can say to excuse this.

Holy mackeral, what a twat.

Hope OP is ok. :(

Quietly I don't like your insinuation my views may be because I don't like someone having money. I have money and still think this needs further investigation, Even if she were the richest person he has still take thousands of pounds that wasn't his and if the dm can replace it they could have had twice as much!!

Quietly hope did you come to that conclusion?

How...

Hope you're okay, OP. Your whole world just collapsed around you in rather horrible fashion, and I agree some posts here are singularly unhelpful. I think people are just so appalled by a parent who can do this to their kids - and I do think, sadly, that protecting them going forwards, in emotional and financial terms, means not just brushing the thing under the rug. But that is a truly horrendous position to be in and a bit of empathy on what it must be doing to you wouldn't go amiss. In a way, I do hope he's run to his mummy in the USA as it will make things simpler for you.

There is no point arguing the legalities of this given OP's father is a solicitor. A trust doesn't need paperwork, though, unless it's over property/land. It can be created orally, or even just through behaviour. All that matters is certainty of intention on the part of the person who gives the money to start with, certainty on whom they want to benefit, and certainty on what exactly they are giving. I have no idea if this is one or not, as it rather depends on paperwork we aren't privy to, and I for one wouldn't know how to interpret even if I were in terms of equity law, but I'm glad OP has free legal advice at her fingertips - worth its weight in gold.

You can put a notice of separation on your credit file

But I have to say this is beyond the pale and it's a second chance but I'd be changing the locks and telling him to do one

I'd also be searching for copies of bank statements etc to see where the money went

I once had an ex leave me thousands in debt and I even brought him a car on finance in my name the cheeky sod did one with it

Never again

I think he's pocketed the money . If there is no evidence of gambling or drug addiction then where has it all gone??
He is low life . Op is working 2 jobs and going without holidays to enable herself to pay off her mtg , and save abit for the DC's future.
10K or £10,000 is an awful lot of money to all but a tiny minority of people in this country and this scumbag has stolen it.
OP has stated he has 'friends or acquaintence' in the branch , that is where the account access has come from . A couple of forged signatures and a friendly face et voila £10,000 moves as if by magic into his account .

I wonder if the OP can see the account activity on the receiving account ? Be interesting to see if the money is still there or where its gone too.

Either way the Branch appear , on the information given , to be at fault and they should repay the DC;s accounts a, they themselves will take the appropriate action to attempt to recover funds from Fagin.

£10,000 at such an early age could have provided a really sound financial future and covered university fees , maybe a gap year, house deposit and a car .

If DM is offering to pay back the money thats great , but is missing the point . The original lump sum should still be there , to be added to.

OP . Please contact the Police , and make sure they know he has taken his passport .

Tweed, I know it's a lot of money but really, £10,000 won't pay for university fees, a gap year, a house deposit and a car!

Doubt she'll be back now. I wouldn't come back to be sworn at or told I don't care about my kids tbh.

I think she meant either or.

I'm still betting it went on small insignificant things. Petrol, extra supermarket run, painting the loo, surprises for kids, leather jacket and other tiny things.....

He dipped in meaning to pay back but never ever did and boom, one day the pot was empty!

OP, I am a treasurer for a charity which requires 2 signatories on all cheques and withdrawals. However, we did apply for online banking to which only I have access. So in effect I could empty the account. Is it possible he has submitted forged forms for internet access? I would be surprised if this could be done without the minimum signatories - but they could be forged

Really cannot believe the bank rang him up and warned him they were investigating him. It's tipping off and totally against the Money Laundering Regs, really, really basic stuff. They are in so much shit. You will probably be able to sue them for the money he stole.

As others have said, go to Financial Ombudsman and the police (it IS theft).

Also, wouldn't be surprised if he had a secret life. Mate I know is a divorce solicitor and when one of his clients divorced her husband turned out he had bought his mistress a house.

If its up to £10,000 at 6yo i was kind of guessing it would at least double by the time university fees are due , with OP and family and interest adding to the pot, not being reduced to £0 by OP's (D) P. oh and i know its £10k between 2 , and i didnt mean a brand new car and with student loans attracting a low rate of interest and not becoming repayable it might be better to leave cash ( that no longer exists) in the bank gathering interest and taking a student loan . why would a 6yo need a car ?

Still, so long as some posters got to feel righteous, by sticking the boot in because the OP hadn't instantly danced to their tune, eh GlaikitFizzog?