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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He stole from me

195 replies

AtSea1979 · 08/02/2014 11:08

Regular user, name changed.

It isn't a huge amount, about £70 I think, I have a change pot where I put left over coins at end of most days. At last count there was about £150 in pound coins, I dipped in to it myself a couple of times, taking approx. £10 each time. Today, while he's at work I counted £50 in £1's. Nothing more. So I say about £70 to account for me taking more than I realised, but I don't think I did.
I am not the kind of person to keep quiet about this. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I believe in totally honesty and trust in a relationship yet I cant say anything.
DP has had financial difficulties. I helped him out. He will be paying me back next friday when he gets paid. The day after, we go on holiday with DCs for a week. I have to keep quiet until we get back, no idea how. Please help me decide objectively what to do.
So not to drip feed, I was single a long time before DP and found it hard and lonely, and had depression and my parenting suffered because of it. Too much shouting etc.
Now my DC seem much happier, despite hearing me and DP row occassionally.
DC are 5 & 8.
What do I do?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 10/02/2014 17:34

Give him a deadline. He can go on looking at flats for donks just spinning his wheel. He found your thread by checking your phone and stalking you.

Get rid.

He's only attentive because he wants to keep his feet under your table.

AnyFucker · 10/02/2014 17:55

Yep, deadline required otherwise he will spin this out indefinitely in the hope he can get back under your defences again.

Lostmumof31974 · 22/02/2014 12:32

Update

Original poster
AtSea1979 · 22/02/2014 19:19

Holiday was a disaster. Came back early. It's over. He's g

OP posts:
Original poster
AtSea1979 · 22/02/2014 19:20

He's gone. Feel so lost but relief at same time. Wish I wasn't scared of the dark, moved to new house and never felt settled here.

OP posts:
Wrapdress · 22/02/2014 20:47

I'm so sorry. But then again, it was no way to live a life.

expatinscotland · 22/02/2014 20:48

Good riddance. Sleep with a light on from the bathroom. You do need another cocklodging man.

expatinscotland · 22/02/2014 20:53

Not need, sorry.

tribpot · 22/02/2014 20:59

I agree. Put some lights on, and maybe think about getting a lodger or moving. Did any of the money he owes you ever turn up?

Original poster
AtSea1979 · 22/02/2014 21:15

Yes all repaid

OP posts:
Original poster
AtSea1979 · 22/02/2014 21:17

Sorry pressed to soon. He was surprisingly nice until the other night when he was tired and grumpy and we had an almighty fight, due to vile things he was saying, and he hit me.

OP posts:
tribpot · 22/02/2014 21:21

Christ. I hope you've called the police? Have you been checked by a doctor?

Original poster
AtSea1979 · 22/02/2014 21:25

Don't over react, I hit him first cos he said nasty things, he hit me back. Slapped me twice across my head. At which point I was shocked in to silence and any angry from his words was replaced by numb shock, at myself and him.

OP posts:
HandbagCrazy · 23/02/2014 10:47

I hope you're ok. Have you heard from him at all?

I think once the shock eases off you'll realise how much better things will be without him x

Quitelikely · 23/02/2014 11:48

It's never ok to hit out because of a verbal attack, especially where children are. And it doesn't matter if they weren't in the room.

Looks like yous were not suited after all.

Original poster
AtSea1979 · 23/02/2014 13:35

Yes he keeps begging me back. I have been waivering but now I have blocked him. I don't think I'll be hearing from him again.

OP posts:
wyrdyBird · 23/02/2014 14:14

A gentle warning: he might not give up easily. He may try other tactics, so please keep blocking and do not even think of having him back, even if you miss him - and even if he's unusually nice, threatening to self harm, says he seen the light, or whatever.
Take care.

AnandaTimeIn · 23/02/2014 20:47

Don't let him back cos you're afraid to be alone.

Like someone said upthread, the situation you are in now is not the situation you were in in the past.

I think you need this time to BE on your own with your children to find your own self and strength.
The more autonomy you have the less chance you have of letting men into your - and your children's! - life who are totally unsuitable.

I'm a LP and really I love it! Can do what I want, when I want, how I want. My DC come first of course.
But we have a great life that no outside asshole can get a look in.

Wonderful people are always welcome of course! Smile

Original poster
AtSea1979 · 24/02/2014 20:33

Been in a&e, I have fractured rib from the other night.

OP posts:
wyrdyBird · 25/02/2014 01:03

Sounds like more than blows across the head, unless you hit the floor as a result. :( Trib was not over reacting, and you really ought to talk to police ASAP.
Hope your pains ease soon and that you get some sleep.

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