I beat my husband today please help me

[Ashamedofviolence]

I have NC

I don't want to be flamed. I know I was wrong.

We had a bad night and a bad morning, both stressed and argued. It got out of hand and I punched him repeatedly. I feel dreadful. He was calm and left the house.

We have huge problems that I can't go into as it will out me, its no excuse I know but we are both under immense pressure, tired and stressed.
I love him and I feel so ashamed. What do I do now? Where do I seek help for this, I don't want it to happen again.

If he had done it to me I'd be terrified and would leave.

How can I ever make things better?

Highbrows perhaps you should stop posting because OP doesn't need anyone minimising what she's done if she is to address it properly.

And you just sound like an ignorant twat.

You are victim blaming and how is it not domestic abuse? She repeatedly assaulted him. Un-fucking-believable.

OP - i am sorry you have been given such a hard time on here, you have came on and asked for help.

Is this out of character for you or do you have problems with your temper generally?

You do need help with this - make an emergency appointment with your GP on monday. You will most likely be referred for counselling and you may or may not be offered anti-depressants, depends on your circumstances. Please be honest with your GP.

As far as your DH is concerned give him time, he is probably really devestated and upset. He did the right thing by leaving, it stopped things from going further. I wouldn't contact him other than a text to say you are really sorry and that you love him. Has he got somewhere he can go?

I have been where you are, i did some really shit stuff to DP, worse than punching him - thankfully I was able to get support from my GP and counselling AND my DP. My "excuse" was PND and some really horrible shitty times that just got on top of me. I am still ashamed and embarrased about it of course, but i didn't feel the need to march myself off to the police station and flog myself. I needed help, which thankfully i got.

I really hope you manage to get past this OP. Can you try and have a nice day with the kids? Try and calm down a bit and hopefully DH will come home after he too has calmed down - the last thing you want is for this to all flair up again when he gets back.

ashamed you're making excuses.

I can't understand why on earth so many posters are telling the op to take herself to the police. What would that achieve? Of course there is a risk her children would be taken from her. That is the tragic thing not that a couple had a row that got out of hand.

Irrelevant. There is never any justification for attacking someone.

I'd like to know more about the relationship in general tbh. The fact is that there is a difference in DV depending on the gender perpetrating.

An ass hat DH who does nothing, ever to help can be extremely provocative.

THIS IS NOT TO SAY HE SHOULD BE PUNCHED.

I just know that my ex would constantly pick rows and storm out to the pub. I never punched him but I really, really wanted to.

I've never done this before.

Although Highbrows I suspect this is a case of emotional abuse and gaslighting with the result of a woundup OP lashing out at the end of her tether.

But we don't know until we get more details from her.

Sorry, that was for the OP giving excuses on why her husband deserved to be repeatedly punched.

Oh FFS!

Would you say that, LEM, if the OP was a man?

This place is hilarious!

"My husband looked as if he might hit me. He was threatening and intimidating and I was scared" - "This is abuse. Contact WA. CHange the locks. Take the kids and run" etc.

"I punched my husband not once but repeatedly" - "You're under pressure. Go to the GP"

"My husband punched me repeatedly" - "Get away. Chances are he'll start on the children next"

"I repeatedly punched my husband. Should I hand myself into the police?" - "What good would that do?? Your children need you!"

Honestly there aren't enough rolly-eyed emoticons for this thread.

Brilliant, so clearly it's all the OPs husbands fault and she's the poor victim. Mumsnet at it's best.

Domestic violence is a bit of a 'does what is says on the tin' description. Was this an incident that happened in the home? Tick. Was there violence? Tick. Did the op's husband respond with violence? No.

Highbrows, those are the facts. This is 100% a case of domestic violence.

Some of you are holier than thou. It must be wonderful to be perfect. The outrage some of you are showing is what is disgusting not a one-off argument.

Don't panic OP, just tell us a few more things about what he said and the way that he said it.

And if you love him, call him and apologise. That would just be the decent thing to do regardless. Make a mental note of how he responds to your apology.

Indeed, Calamity.

Yes I've jumped the gun, you can all say what you want to me I'm big enough to take it. But I feel this op has been emotionally abused and gaslighted.

Ok please go to your go Monday for help.

Actually - if i repeatedly punched my DP he would probably just restrain me until i calmed the fuck down and walk out. He mght have to straighten his shirt i guess but there would be very little damage done to him - if my DP punched me once, i'd probably need an ambulance. There is a difference and it is a bit daft not to recognise this.

Of course the OP did a bad thing, she knows this, she knows she needs help and is going to get help - FFS stop making her out to be some sort of abusive monster

I'm not perfect but I've never attacked anyone.
It's not a particularly high standard to aspire to.

If her dc tell a teacher what she's done it will be reported anyway.

Let's review shall we;

She REPEATEDLY PUNCHED her dh with her children in the house.

He remained calm. Did not retaliate. Walked away.

They're BOTH under enormous stress.

If she'd said he was insulting, undermining, EA her and she snapped it would be a totally different ballgame though in that instance I would still say any relationship that has reached this level of violence is pretty much beyond salvaging.

"Some of you are holier than thou" - You mean law abiding people who abhor domestic violence? I'm proud to be called holier than thou if that's the case.

It would be more helpful to an OP in need to respond to her rather than talking over her on her own thread.

Waltermitty - yes, i would say exactly the same thing actually, to ANYONE asking for help.