Shagged a really good friend on Friday night. Sigh....

[FrazzleRock]

Why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why?

It almost feels like I've had sex with a brother or something.

But I kind of liked it.
Did I say that out loud?

Oh MAN.

We've not spoken since. Awkward.

Mummybeerest - we actually ended up in bed together last time when we were both dating other people. Totally ashamed to admit it, but that was the reason we couldn't pursue it.
He then ended up splitting up from her quite soon after and meeting someone quite quickly afterwards (who he split up with about 6 months ago)
I ended up with the same guy I was dating back then (and had two DS's) but we split up three years ago.

Six months ago I shagged a really good friend I've worked with for five years. We're getting married this summer

Another in the shagged a best friend they then married camp. A blissful night in 2002....

Go for it frazzle

Another one who married her best friend (17 yrs ago) we're still best friends and he still can't keep his hands off me

Ah, fair enough.

Well...hope this is an exciting new level of friendship for you both!

Another one married to the friend they shagged.... 10yrs ago now!!

Hate to say but I'm another one who ended up with my friend. 19 years later and still blissfully happy and desperate for DD to go to sleep so we can get some 'us' time

Difference was, we didn't leave anything left unsaid. It was awkward so we talked it through. Being able to talk things through is a basic requirement for a good relationship but it help if the sex is fucking amazing too

Why would anyone NOT fall for someone they think of as their best friend. That is absolutely who you SHOULD be with.

Plus....you LIKE him

I can see the point you're all making, but even if I did like him, it's not totally up to me.
It's times like this when mind reading would really be useful.

It's times like this when mind reading would really be useful.

You can achieve a lot with a frank conversation, IME. No mind-reading required....

Talk to him OP.

Yes, the texting is not helping. Talk face-to-face preferably, so you get the non-verbal cues too.

"Are we cool?" is just WAY too ambiguous a message, as it sounds like "Let's put this behind us."

It sounds like:

• you liked shagging him
• you would like to do it again
• you would like to give a proper relationship a go.

So say THAT. And then let him decide if he feels the same.
Or face another 9 years of dithering.

I agree with HotDamn
I would read Are we cool? for Let's forget and move on.
Texts are so hard to get right.
OP, just talk!

It's times like this when mind reading would really be useful

If I were a betting man I would put money on his thoughts being something like, "That was great. I'd like to do that again. I really like her. I'd like to take this further. But she's a great friend. What if I say something and she doesn't want a relationship? I could end up losing her as a friend. At least if I keep her as a friend it may turn into something more eventually. Perhaps I'd better keep quiet and see what she says. I wish I could read her mind..."

Yes, what ^^he said.

TALK to him.

And then tell us ALL about it :o

Ooooh place marking this is exciting frazzle, talk to him immediately!

If you want him. Tell him!

Another one who shagged their best pal, had done it a few years earlier too, then both had relationships with others. Known each other 22 years, ONS 18 years ago, been together properly 14 years, married 10, 2 kids and still very much in love as well as being great pals who have a laugh together all the time (better stop now reading this is making me want to sick up my liver).

It was weird however seeing him naked at the beginning

One night I got drunk and told him how I felt, as in the back of my mind I think I felt we were going down the FWB road, and we've never looked back.

Jump his bones next chance you get!

Seriously no available straight man I know would ever tell me they were lonely unless they meant "Please come over here and make me less lonely forthwith". Lonely! FGS. Could it be plainer? Don't expect him to be any braver than you men are wimps.

It was weird however seeing him naked at the beginning

Oh God, yes! But it really didn't take long to get past it.

Well hi ladies, I just had to jump in as I'm currently in the midst of some kind if highly charged, overly tense, moderately exciting will-we-won't-we with a really good friend! We work together and a little posse of our colleagues might as well have t-shirts they 're so blatant in thinking we should just get it on already!

We talk openly about how everyone thinks we're perfect for each other. We have a baby pact (in jest I think...!) if we 're childless and single in a few years... It's rather confusing I must say!!! I don't actually think anything will happen, but you ladies have half made me think I should pursue thus a little. All this happiness around!!!

If you'd love to be a mind reader, you can bet he'd be feeling exactly the same.

Just talk to each other. You don't have to know how you feel but you can express that you don't know whether there's a future but you enjoyed yourself and would like to find out.

Shamelessly place marking as am considering shagging a mate

Oooh, do it hampton!