Please Help- I think I have hit rock bottom

[Blossomflowers]

Sorry I have so start a new thread, sure some kind soul will link for me, please?

But very briefly I asked my P of 20 years to leave a couple of weeks before Xmas, it has been a tough Xmas as NY as to be expected, I know if I was advising a friend I will tell her she was did the right thing.

But this weekend I think my mental state has taken an all time low, DS 13 is being very aggressive and difficult, normal teenage stuff all be it a bit extreme, I am struggling with him. I feel totally a drift.

I have just driven back from dropping DS off @ school and have sobbed uncontrollably and made myself sick from crying. I actually think nobody would really give a shit if I was not here. I am stuggling to see any point in anything. I have massive debts, not helping because it is hard to concentrate on work, I hate my beautiful house right now, just reminds me of us. I have a constant pain in my right temple. Eating really badly which is really not good for my diabetes.

I thought I was doing so well and this weekend it all seems to have come crashing down. I just want it all to end.

Sorry for the long rant but I need to sensible advise on how to get past all these horrible thoughts I am having.

That's just normal butterflies I think.

Yes really comfortable, good thinking mistle I think woman spend so much time thinking about these things and men probably don't even notice.

Ah, result with ex and DS, 3 cheers.

Date will probably let me down after all this.

Blossom, don't think the worst! I hope you have another good evening this evening. Can I suggest that you have a very clear idea in your mind about how far you might be prepared to go and make sure that you don't get steamrollered into doing anything you weren't happy to do... I will catch up with you on Sunday or Monday - off to pick up DS from his half term week with my parents so away this weekend.

Thanks mistle good advice and will just take it as it comes. Everyone on the dating thread seem to think I should cancel as he probably will not get here to late possibly ( his shift officially finishes @ 10 but hopes he can get off earlier.) He has always bee upfront about that. also Saturday is a no go day as he always has his daughter to stay. Can't see the problem myself but I think some of these ladies have had some bad experiences and very guarded, who can blame them. Have brill weekend mistle and thanks for all your support over the weeks

and Blossom!

Hope you enjoy the evening with MrScottishAccent as and when you see each other. Btw if you are not yet looking to get fully intimate you know your shoulder could be a handy stalling device. As far as confidence goes remember men worry about how they come across too.

Have a fun weekend mistlethrush.

Thanks donkey thank you also for being there for me these past few weeks. I have just watched DS drive away with his dad and am having a good cry, it just seems like a end/beginning of an era. Am being an idiot. Have poured my myself a little beer and might go for a long soak in the tub. Fuck the messy house. Mr Scottishaccent better realise from the beginning I am hopeless at house work.

blossom that's because it is the end of an era and the beginning of another.

Hope it all goes well tonight. But have you got a stay safe plan?

Hope you are all right this morning, Blossom.

donkey All I can say is wow, had a wonderful night, he has just left, can't take the huge grin off my face. Just what the doctor ordered, I now what I have been missing all these years. Even if I never see him again, it would have been worth it just to feel like a woman again.

exactly temp my legs are shaking, I had had forgotten what it was like. I could not of picked someone better to get the old me back. Jesus I wish I had been braver to end that sad thing I was in of a so called relationship

Blossom you minx.

Too soon for a new thread title?

donkey seems rather innappropriate title now doesn't. Poor guy I had cooked a chill for us but never got round to eating it. Don't think he stood a chance,glad I still have it in me. Did feel slighty self conscious this morning, dim lights hide all those lumps and bumbs. Happened to be particularly bright sunny morning eeek.
Spookily he missed FW by 5 minutes when he dropped DS of, not that I think would give a shit but would have been a bit weird

Suppose thread title could still be appropriate - does he have a firm bum?

Umm gonna put some thought to that. Feeling very good today, shoulder still kills, just had to take some painkillers, had some lovely text from mrscottishaccent., been having some very very indecent thoughts. Think I might have gone without sex for just a little toooooo long.
Have friends coming around soon for a few glasses of wine, just wanting to get all the gossip. lol

Hello Blossom still walking on air?

Morning donkey oh yes certainly am. He is saying all the right things, seems as keen as I am,. I just can't wait to see him again but trying very hard not to seem too eager. lol ( probably making a crap job of it)

I am thinking of asking FW to make formal arrangement to see DS, as DS seemed to enjoy staying and think it is high time I had a liitle freedom. I was thinking Friday night and one night during the week, FW lives very near to DS school so and easy drop of. Does that sound reasonable?

That sounds massively reasonable providing your DS fancies this. Unfortunately how FW will respond, is another matter. He might balk at this happening once a week. Once a fortnight might be more palatable to start with?

Well have just texted FW, lets get his measure, I have stated Friday night and once during the week, and have said if he wants to be part of his sons life then he needs to make it work
On another note I can't quite believe this but I have no pain in my arm today, it feels incredible.
Also just booked an appointment with Nursse @ DR Surgery as really think I need to sort out contraception, something not had to worry about for years. totally out of touch with all that sort of things

That's the way to go, bite the bullet and see what ex says.

Good news about your shoulder, can this be the healing of powers of - well, MrScottishAccent?

Ha ha donkey Sure he would like to think so. Keep replaying Friday night in my mind, have had lots of lovely texts from him over the weekend, said spent it with his daughter. I think it is fantastic he spends so much time with her, but there a little niggling doubt whether he will have enough time to have a relationship, well time will tell. Also contacted this morning by a really hot looking man, now in dilemma whether to chat to him. I very rarely like anyone.