Er.. Him "Going South"

[Angstriddenmum]

Slightly embarrassing but I really feel like I need to find what other people think. My DH is really into - how can I put it - heading to the tropics. Our drives have always been a bit mismatched (guess which way ) but he wants to do this to me all the time. I love him dearly but it's getting a bit tiresome (the asking, I mean). We seem to have reached a sort of compromise - perhaps every 2 or 3 days - but it never seems to be enough for him, which annoys me. There's lots that I want to get off my chest, TBH. When he does the deed, he keeps telling me how beautiful I am and how lovely I taste (I just think ewwww - keep it to yourself). He is also not asking for any, er, reciprocation (which I am usually quite happy to provide). He just says that he loves making me feel good. I say that I am not in the mood and always thinking about other things (a few family and work probs at the moment). He says that he loves making me stop thinking about things, even for a few seconds. I say that it's just a few seconds of pleasure but then it's back to normal. He says that you could say that about chocolate!

Reading this back I can see that I have really needed to formulate these ideas into a post and this has helped. I still have more to say so I'll follow up.

ARM

[ohgodimgoingtobesick]

you are tkt htuh

[LineRunner]

Sorry, I don't really get the last two posts.

Any chance of re-posting?

[Sallystyle]

What does ARM mean?

[Lweji]

Short for Angstriddenmum, the OP

[Angstriddenmum]

TBH I wish I hadn't mentioned the sodding book (and, believe me, I don't swear easily). I find it very sad that most people have latched on to this one particularly personal (dare I say, titillating) aspect of this. I don't (well, didn't) see it as especially important. I thought it was odd and said so, so there is no especial benefit in telling me this. I have this fault (not uncommon) that I care too much what other people think. I guess I mentioned the book hoping that people would say, "My husband does that too" or "He gives me a soduku" or similar. Well, OK, maybe not. But perhaps, "Well, I've never heard of that but I can't see the harm" or, best case scenario, "Lucky you. He sounds like a keeper". I'm sorry but so many of these posts are so wide of the mark that it's quite annoying. Are you posters so certain that every single thing that you do with your partners in the bedroom would not raise an eyebrow if publicised? I hadn't realised that so many members were saints.

Now, of course, because everyone is going on about it I have something else to think about - the last thing I need right now.

[Lweji]

Just out of curiosity, how long is he down there, usually, that you do read a book? How many pages do you manage?


I think you need to read your OP to realise what people are going on about in here (apart from the initial possibly drunk posters).
Does this bother you, or not?

Not sure what you really wanted. If you are ok, it doesn't matter what other people say. Your normal is your normal. It's not about being saints in the bedroom.
But if it bothers you and you feel you have to do it, and you are pressured, then it's sexual abuse. It may be shocking to think of it like that, but at least I hope it gives you strength to actually do what you want and feel comfortable with in the bedroom.

[AnyFucker]

Have another try, ArtexMonkey

[TheGinLushMinion]

Your last post is very defensive, you said yourself that the book thing is downright fucking weird odd?

If you weren't concerned & didn't want advice why did you post? I think maybe Anyfucker had it on the first page...

Anyway I'm going to report as think HQ are missing the obvious.

[AnyFucker]

Got there

[MirandaWest]

I still stand by my (non drunk) postings from yesterday. You need to talk to your DH about your sex life.

And yes there probably are elements of everyone's sex lives that they wouldn't necessarily publicise - but that is the point that they aren't publicising them. I have never heard of anyone reading whilst their partner is performing oral sex on them and so it is possibly unsurprising that several posters have picked up on that point.

I hope you are able to work out with your DH how you can both enjoy sex.

[Lweji]

I don't know. If I was going to post a stealth boast, I'd ask if I was too quick to come from oral. And that I had asked OH to do it less well to make it last longer.

[AnyFucker]

OP, if you didn't think being given a book to read while your partner makes a meal out of a spot of carpetmunching is a bit unusual then I don't think a parenting website is the right place for the kind of advice that you need.

^^ that's a v.v.v helpful contribution that is

[LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA]

So, he likes a good old lick of your pussy and you have a problem with this?? you is mad!

[Newyearchanger]

What's the question?

[LineRunner]

OP, your comment about posters paying attention to your own previous comment about the oddness of 'the book' is very defensive and very sad.

I hope you are ok.

[neiljames77]

People could have seen it as irony ARM. People make remarks about women looking at the cracks in the ceiling because they're bored by what their partners are doing but he's actually handing you a book to read. It was only different because what most men would regard as an insult, he encouraged it. Don't you dwell on it. It's not your behaviour that's in question.

[Lweji]

Have you just got here, LEM? :)

[Twinklestein]

OP it sounds as if you're more offended by the posters who took your issue seriously than the rude ones at the beginning who took the piss out of you (who I think were really out of order).

I guess you were hoping that other women would commiserate and say they lie back and think of England too, and probably 50 years ago they would.

I'm sorry that I couldn't say 'well I've never heard of that but I can't see the harm', because altho it's true I've never heard of it I can see the harm.

I'm genuinely sorry if that shocks you, but I can't lie as you asked for honest feedback. I'm shocked you think your H's behaviour is ok. Well - you don't entirely otherwise you wouldn't be asking on here.

[LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA]

yep - and has been taken, so please someone, explain the OPs problem to me, in simple terms - i can't be arsed to RTFT

[erilou38]

You lucky mare!!!!! My husband never does it and neither did my long-term partner before him. A man i went out with when i was 20 loved it and always wanted to do it, really turned him on. I really loved it and wish my husband wanted to do it. Think yourself very fortunate.

[differentnameforthis]

BitOfFunWithSanta Then you ignore. You don't have to verbally berate her because you don't like her post, or she is new, or it is Saturday night.

[Lweji]

So, the OP reports that her OH likes to give her oral, to the point that he asks her to read a book to delay her orgasm so that he spends longer there.
Apparently she's too fast getting there for his liking.
Also he insists on doing this at least every 2-3 days, although he'd really like every day.

The OP doesn't like to talk about it with her OH, or to use actual terms for oral sex.