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Original poster

DH caught masterbating

310 replies

Alexa007 · 29/12/2013 20:22

I know most ppl on this board are going to say this is no big deal but I walked in on my DH wanking in the shower today. Door was open I walked in to put some stuff away.

Naive maybe but we have talked about this before and he's always maintained he never does it and doesn't need to as we have sex regularly. We have been married 3 years, together 7 and have a dc aged nearly 1.

So now firstly I feel like he has been lying to me all this time. Fine if when we'd talked about it he said he'd always done it etc. but now I keep thinking back to times when he's been off taking super long in the shower....

Also, we have just come back from holiday together, if he was feeling horny why didn't he just get me, our lo was sleeping at the time.

I feel hurt.

OP posts:
FetaCheeny · 30/12/2013 21:53

Ok the 'being put in place' was meant to be sarcastic. Bloody ridiculous when someone comes on claiming to represent an entire gender, however well intentioned I'm sure it was.

scottishmummy · 30/12/2013 21:55

Clamber down from the big high horse,women generalise about other women on mn all time
Thars fundamentally what we all argue about

FetaCheeny · 30/12/2013 22:00

I don't think I've ever heard anyone say 'Trust me I'm a woman' on mumsnet. Would be pretty pointless.

scottishmummy · 30/12/2013 22:00

Ok,generalisations by women about women go on any working/housewife thread
Generalisation posted is on death bed folk will regret working and not being at home
I won't,I'll be proud of doing a job I loved doing

rpitchfo · 30/12/2013 22:05

Feta it would be pretty pointless because mumsnet is circa 99% female. I don't know...i'm trying to remain gender neutral from now on (as i've been pulled over the coals in similar fashion to angus recently - probably rightly so..i do get the point). When i post "as a man" i really am just trying to give my own personal experience as a man but i agree it might not come across as that. However i do feel like i'm being a little deceptive as people have mentioned my husband in a couple of threads recently so there is that element.

Angus99 · 30/12/2013 22:07

"Trust me I am a bloke..." "All men are wankers..." Even my gentle self-deprecation seems to be lost on some people, so determined are they to be angry. Some of the reactions here may differ in content, but their visceral, uncontrolled anger and unwillingness to have an open friendly conversation would not be out of place on mailonline.

Sesquipedality · 30/12/2013 22:07

FetaCheeny - with all due respect you either haven't been on here long enough, or you're not posting in the right places, if you haven't seen one, let alone the hundreds of bloke bashing posts on mumsnet. I've been on here since 2004 and I can honestly say it happens sadly often.

CarryOnDancing · 30/12/2013 22:08

I'm still giggling at your creeping Jesus post neiljames, thanks for that!!

This is a genuine question now-do those saying "he's a man, of course he wanks" think that all women don't masturbate? Is this a stereotype or is it some kind of well known thing that lots of women don't engage in solo fun? I would honestly assume that every man AND woman masturbates?
I don't get the gender issue here? Is this just the usual sexism shite that appears here?

FetaCheeny · 30/12/2013 22:12

Well you've done a good job, I didn't notice you were a man on this thread. To be fair it was only one post of Angus's that riled me a little, the last one sounded balanced and fair. It's interesting to hear a mans opinion. I just take exception to 'all men do it' type posts that's all, would feel the same if it was reversed on a male majority forum.

scottishmummy · 30/12/2013 22:13

Mn no way cowed or deferential to males or about males.LTB is default response
There no giggle and flick if anyone reckons a man is posting
Other posters have had discussion re it's mumsnet,not for the men

Sesquipedality · 30/12/2013 22:17

LBT, call the cops, fuck him cut access to the kids... EVERY single day. Makes me weep.

Sesquipedality · 30/12/2013 22:18

LTB!

FetaCheeny · 30/12/2013 22:18

Ive been here a few years under different guises and yes I have seen plenty of male bashing, my post was just about men generalising all men, I'm not a man basher Smile

Angus99 · 30/12/2013 22:24

Males UK masturbating at some time: 95%.
Women UK masturbating at some time: 72%
Found on wikipedia. Original source is a reputable academic study.
I am again slightly baffled that anyone bothers posting on this subject without having any sense about what objective studies there have been. But hey why bother with the facts when you can have a good bigoted rant.

FetaCheeny · 30/12/2013 22:26

95% is quite low, I'm surprised.

Climbingthewalls12 · 30/12/2013 22:27

Remember though that Wikipedia can be changed by anyone at any time and I reckon masturbation would be a top topic to fiddle with.

Its actually slightly embarrassing the level of man bashing that goes on on MN. Its no wonder we're labeled vipers and the like. Surprising really seeing as its technically a parenting website and heck there aint no kiddies without a man.

scottishmummy · 30/12/2013 22:29

Aye feta and ask said women generalise about other women every day on mn
That's why the argument,mirth,and deletion occur!because of sweeping generalisations
When folk post as a mother that's fucking grim.we aren't homogenous

neiljames77 · 30/12/2013 22:29

Where do they get them figures from? Nobody asked me.

scottishmummy · 30/12/2013 22:31

Maybe your missus said,naw he never touches his ting

Climbingthewalls12 · 30/12/2013 22:31

Talking about figures, surely it largely depends on who they interviewed. If for instance it was an entire football team then chances are the banter would mean that they would be more likely to admit to maturating whereas if you asked a Church group they are likely to be more hush hush about it. Just as a massive generalisation to make a point.

Climbingthewalls12 · 30/12/2013 22:31

maturating Hmm now thats one I've never heard before

rpitchfo · 30/12/2013 22:32

ooo...let's get into a good debate about "reputable academic studies"...the OH works in research and this drives her mad. One study taken in isolation really isn't worth the paper it's written on...regardless of the sample size (just don't tell the researchers)...i don't take any cited source as credible until i see a Cochrane review.

scottishmummy · 30/12/2013 22:39

See it's mn,jovial banter and aggro,I don't want to get into cochrane peer reviewed yada
Like the bf threads someone will post online vid of some kooky zealot and research from shitsville uni,but ignore other contrary research
And when I see folk harrumph demanding substantiation for points I think it's bit passive aggressive
Anyway we all argue someone chirrups The plural of anecdote is not data,

Lweji · 30/12/2013 22:41

There are no Cochrane reviews about it. I spot a gap in research.

scottishmummy · 30/12/2013 22:44

Feminism topics on mn used to be grindingly argumentative demanding research proof
And then someone would link and recommend wifework accepted unquestioned as if good steer