Whatnext074 is now handfulofcottonbuds - thread continued

[handfulofcottonbuds]

Both my previous threads have reached their maximum postings so I have decided to NC from Whatnext074 to handfulofcottonbuds - thank you to walkacrossthesand for suggesting it as it makes me smile.

My previous thread is here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1902849-Whatnext074-thread-continued still don't know how to convert links

I have had amazing support and advice from MNers since my H left me for OW - over 3 months on and I still can't believe this has happened.

Thank you to all those lurkers and de-lurkers who have contacted me to say that they have found the advice given on my threads really helpful to them too which is mainly why I am continuing my thread.

I have felt so many emotions, been distraught, desperate, strong, indifferent, weak, scared, independent and sad. What has helped is knowing I'm not alone and knowing there is always someone on MN who offers a hand and I will always be grateful for that.

I have a challenging few months ahead, mediation in January and divorce shortly after and moving out of my home. I am scared right now about my future, for 11 years, I knew my future would be with my H and we could handle anything but now I have to find who I am and create my own future.

Thank you for all your support - I cannot tell you how much it helps xxx

Hangs head in shame - never even been to a Harvester.

I can't date either mamma. Just can't. But I shall be cheering you on big time cotton. Is it Tuesday?

What????? R and b?!??! You haven't lived. It's ALL about the harvester! Love the salad cart...

R and b...why can't you date?? You should! Dip your toe! Find someone to take you on your first harvester trip [ grin]

That's lucky... I'm free Tuesday too . My hotpants are best left at home (wore them back in the days as a teenager when everything was still pointing north). Don't mind us, we'll be in the background .

Have you a name for your skip? 'Tosser's Tip'?

Love that mamma had a smiley fail - just like her typos x

R&B - that's madness, have you never smelt the wonder of the oak smoked barbeque chicken??

Yes, Tuesday

Tossers tip love it.

'Wanker's Waste' perhaps...

tossers tip - perfect!

'Wanker's Waste' - perfect!!

Haha..yep..should change my name to typomania :)

Dickhead's Dump...

wankers waste - well after his 'revelation' before he left me, that's very apt!

....it gets better

I'm a bloody vegetarian. Blame Morrissey.

Wish I could help you out with the skip of doom, good luck

Not dating. End of. Thrown my cards in, not in the game anymore. Much safer .

Sounds as though this is going to be an interesting week. Good things are happening and you are recognising things within yourself you probably thought were lost. Whatever he did take from you in the early days is slowly returning. Having some perspective on those moments is a huge step forward. Yes, he was an absolute bastard to you. He's never going to change and will always take the coward's way.

When that skip arrives you won't have to look at his stuff or have it around anymore. That in itself will have been draining. Look on that freed-up energy as yours - use it on yourself. x

R and b...there's veggie options! (I don't work for the harvester honestly).

Don't throw your cards in r and b. that would be a shame. It's still early days for you too. I know how you feel though- its worrying in case you get hurt again. A few dates might be fun though, nothing heavy just making new friends (fit, sexy, make ones)

• male ones!!! Damn my typos!

Nah, I'll leave all the hunky fit sexy blokes for you lovely ladies.

Look forward to an update cotton

Re the wedding album, I shouldn't bother asking him about ANYTHING in the future. Store it, sell it, throw it. Don't get drawn into contacting him. Perhaps in your situation the less contact the better. With his money and new car he can always go and get new.

You hadnt thought about him for a week and you can now see the madness of forwarding his mail with "his" gracious gift of stamps...my, my you are moving on

Personally id be tempted to put the wedding photos on shitbags skip and email a photo to him (not sure I'd actually DO it but the thought would spitefully amuse me)

Have a great time on your date.

I received my Decree Nisi today, I will be divorced in 6 weeks.

Congratulations! Onwards and upwards cotton. You are a completely different woman to the one who was here in October.

How you feeling about it??

Ps- how was the date??

I'm sorry lovely, I meant to add that I find it all a bit sad. Then again, none of us ever enter marriage thinking it will end. OW was listed as 'un-named person' in my Nisi. I resent her being on there at all.

Still, as you say onwards and upwards x

Onwards and upwards indeed.

Of course it's sad. It's an end of a chapter. As exciting as it is going into the next chapter, you didn't want the marriage to end. It was 'done to you'. I can see how you resent her being part of the nisi. Her actions, starting a relationship with your stbxh, has caused you do much pain. They both have.

As always, concentrate on yourself, your future, your next steps.

Sorry cotton I was over enthusiastic on your behalf. As an outsider looking in over the past 7 months I think you are very well rid but I also understand the sadness at the end of this chapter in your life.

I will do mamma x

My date went okay, once I told him to stop talking about his ex wife, oh and money!

I'm chatting to a soldier now based at Brize Norton, he seems to be a gentleman, genuinely interested in me.

growingold - no need to apologise, I know it's the right thing x

I just hope they aren't out celebrating but then, does it matter to me? He's not the man I married.