Whatnext074 is now handfulofcottonbuds - thread continued

[handfulofcottonbuds]

Both my previous threads have reached their maximum postings so I have decided to NC from Whatnext074 to handfulofcottonbuds - thank you to walkacrossthesand for suggesting it as it makes me smile.

My previous thread is here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1902849-Whatnext074-thread-continued still don't know how to convert links

I have had amazing support and advice from MNers since my H left me for OW - over 3 months on and I still can't believe this has happened.

Thank you to all those lurkers and de-lurkers who have contacted me to say that they have found the advice given on my threads really helpful to them too which is mainly why I am continuing my thread.

I have felt so many emotions, been distraught, desperate, strong, indifferent, weak, scared, independent and sad. What has helped is knowing I'm not alone and knowing there is always someone on MN who offers a hand and I will always be grateful for that.

I have a challenging few months ahead, mediation in January and divorce shortly after and moving out of my home. I am scared right now about my future, for 11 years, I knew my future would be with my H and we could handle anything but now I have to find who I am and create my own future.

Thank you for all your support - I cannot tell you how much it helps xxx

You must have been texting a lot about having a lot of foreplay in Wales bluesky???? You phone knows you.

cottons good luck. Chin up, chest out, Pom poms in pocket. We're behind you

mamma would be proud of bluesky

Thank you R&B - logging off now x

The only times I've been to Wales it was so bloody cold Dolgellau (see!) Foreplay was not on my mind.

Thinking of you and hoping that it is going ok

Hope it has gone ok today. X

You must have been texting a lot about having a lot of foreplay in Wales bluesky???? Your phone knows you.

cottons good luck. Chin up, chest out, Pom poms in pocket. We're behind you

No I havent at all...perhaps it says a lot about what the Koreans think we talk about LOL!!!

Let us know how you got on when you are ready Handful

Hope all went well today my lovely....

Loving those typing skills blue...

:) xx

I hope it went well today.

You have taught me well mamma

Hope you were awesome today xxx im sure you were ,you are an inspiration to me, keep posting, your thread has helped so many people, xxx

Thinking of you today. Can't wait for the update saying how brilliant you were x x

babycow you are a sweetie x

What a pointless exercise! He looked like a tramp, unkempt beard, big hair, very casual clothes and a cardie. He hadn't filled his form out and bits he had completed looked like he had written it with his foot. Didn't bring any evidence of finances with him but said he only had £2k to his name on his big salary. 'Forgot' to mention his bonus.

Got angry with me in front of the mediator on a number of occasions, so much so that I had to ask him to stop being rude to me. Rolled his eyes so many times that he looked like the exorcist. Tutted (I hate tutting).

Is moving in with OW but failed to see why her finances get taken into account now as it's "none of my business". I listed down our standard of life together and he disputed that but couldn't come up with an alternative.

He didn't complete the form as he knows he'd be in trouble if he puts anything false on there.

He got so angry that he almost started to cry, it looked like he'd been crying beforehand too I don't care anymore

Is looking to rent a property with OW as "why would he enter into a mortgage with someone else again". Couldn't see why I couldn't rent as well but mediator said it's his choice to rent and I own my property so courts would look at me having enough for mortgage.

It was a complete waste of my time and money.

He didn't dispute adultery and said he wouldn't defend that if I filed under it but did say if he had to pay court costs (as mediator said he would under those circumstances), that he would take it off any settlement I get.

As he didn't bring all information, another mediation date was set for March. Thinking about it, I am not going to do another mediation so will hand over to my solicitor now. He can sod off. He was ugly inside and out! Not sure what has happened to him, not my problem anymore.

....and yes, I looked bloody fantastic and the mediator even said to my H, "your wife is very, very organised".

No tears from me, flipping ADs, can't cry anymore

Thank you all so much for your messages, I remembered them when I was on my way there xx

Fantastic! What a lady! x x

No, my lovely...on the contrary...it was NOT a waste if time!!!!

It just confirms what we all know. You are brilliant!!! You are on the up!!! He is a twat!!! He is not worthy if you anymore!!!

I bet the mediator could read that situation exactly how it was. That's why they made that comment about you being organised.

2k to his name...bullshit.

Oh whatnext- you are great. Bloody well done.

Now...open that wine cheers

Cotton you sound really positive and strong. Well done today you did so well. I really can't understand this mediation lark as I don't know anyone that it worked for. Just seems another pointless government idea.

I'm glad you looked fab and how predictable that he looked a mess.

Well done . I know today was going to be hard but you did great waves Pom poms!!!

Sat here with a grin on my face. Could actually punch the air for you. Just did it. Fucking good on you. He must be fuming- the strong, organised, Independent cotton have him a run for his money.

So what happens about the fact he had now admitted he will move in with OW - is it "on record" as it's admitted in mediation or can he deny it?

I assume its not difficult to prove the lifestyle you had as you went on holiday regularly etc.

Are you starting to see you are better off without the person he has become?

So as you have seen him do you think "hassle wife" had been crossed off his calendar this week?

• gave him...

Typos galore I'm over excited :)

Oh yeah you definately channeled your inner Joan Collins!!

May not have achieved anything material but possibly has given your confidence a boost to know you can pull it together when you need to.

I really thought he'd have pulled himself together. The man I married was smart, extremely good looking and so professional - not a tramp! What the hell does she see in him?!

Was so pleased to see him looking like he was.

I could have/would have helped him but he's on self-destruct. If he can't be nasty to me then he can be nasty to mistress von teese. Sounds like they are made for each other. Just wish he'd flipping move out of the county I live in, this is my home!

I often think this is an act for me but to be like that in front of a solicitor??

I am on the already xx

Mamma id be disappointed if there wasn't a typo!

mamma - you are great

bluesky - nothing can be used in court from mediation apart from finances but I doubt he will defend adultery now. I think he will not hassle me for a while!

whyme and itwillgetbetter xx

Now - to start divorce and start planning my 40th!

oh blardy well done my dear. Bravo, bravo, bravo, you complete STAR

I'm not surprised you won't do mediation again - because what's the point when you're faced with a 13yo kid. Though, to be fair, a lot of 13yo's aren't as bad.

What a big, fat KID

And there you were, fragrant aplomb personified

Hang on (grabs stetson) Let's get our posse together, saddle up our horses and run him out of town.

Id put money on his disheveled appearance being an act to underline his "lack of funds"