Whatnext074 is now handfulofcottonbuds - thread continued

[handfulofcottonbuds]

Both my previous threads have reached their maximum postings so I have decided to NC from Whatnext074 to handfulofcottonbuds - thank you to walkacrossthesand for suggesting it as it makes me smile.

My previous thread is here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1902849-Whatnext074-thread-continued still don't know how to convert links

I have had amazing support and advice from MNers since my H left me for OW - over 3 months on and I still can't believe this has happened.

Thank you to all those lurkers and de-lurkers who have contacted me to say that they have found the advice given on my threads really helpful to them too which is mainly why I am continuing my thread.

I have felt so many emotions, been distraught, desperate, strong, indifferent, weak, scared, independent and sad. What has helped is knowing I'm not alone and knowing there is always someone on MN who offers a hand and I will always be grateful for that.

I have a challenging few months ahead, mediation in January and divorce shortly after and moving out of my home. I am scared right now about my future, for 11 years, I knew my future would be with my H and we could handle anything but now I have to find who I am and create my own future.

Thank you for all your support - I cannot tell you how much it helps xxx

My 'damnit it's been cut too short' fringe

Thank you x

i bet it looks lovely!!

So sweet, thanks.

Rooting for you!

Wear the jacket and keep telling yourself you look bloody fantastic.

I went to mediation with DDs father. One waiting room. Luckily he was late on both occasions. I'd go just in time and be completely glued to your phone.

You sound prepared for total git behaviour. That's good. My DDs father decided to announce his marriage in one of our meetings... Interesting moment.

Just make notes, breathe... Whenever I heard something that I felt was completely knobhead-ish I just looked to the mediator and said 'and what do you think
About that comment?'.

Remember when he came to the house to annoy you collect his bike one Saturday? Well, it's the same advice. Nod your head and say 'right'.

You'll be ok, you can do calm and collected. Hugs

Good advice R&B, thank you. I must remember that the mediator is there to 'mediate'.

I really hope my H slips up.

I cannot wait to wear my new jacket!

Just think about his furry tongue when he pisses you off

Haha - and his smelly breath and boney bottom

Personally a fan of a pert bottom (specially in jeans)

Me too, my H has no bottom. He's very body conscious as he can't put on any weight or muscle and now he has no heart or morals either. What a catch!

You're not selling him to us Im not thinking what a catch

I did love him though and he was extremely good looking with his clothes on - but not now. I am able to see him for what he is, a cruel manipulative, selfish man who hurt me and my DS beyond belief.

Really hope he looks a mess tomorrow, will make it so much easier.

if he looks smooth and together though it will underline what a heartless sod he is wont it? From what you say though he does the dishevelled and distraught when he deals with you, it must be for show though as what kind of new girlfriend would tolerate a man like that?

You're right bluesky - he is heartless and no matter how he looks, I will hopefully see him for the ugly man he is.

He said before he left that he wondered where the strong, independent woman went. He's going to see her now!

Yes cottons!!!!!!!! Loving your last post!!!!

You want strong and I dependant, you bastard....right....here she is!!!!!

Go for it today- act your socks off if needs be but don't let him know for one second that you're rattled.

Thinking of you

Fingers crossed for you today.

You can walk out at any time!

Also much as you would like a quick resolution you don't need one - where as he told you her lease is up in the spring so he has a deadline looming - again that's a weapon at your disposal

Fake it! You have come so far you can do it!

Bluesky - that is a good point! You can use that if he starts being obnoxious, Cottonbuds!

Good luck today!

Thank you all x

bluesky - excellent point! I have no deadline. Hopefully he'll be more receptive as he wants to move in with OW and will want a quick resolution.

I feel a bit sick today but have to remember that he hasn't got a clue what I'm going to ask for. I've done nothing wrong - and repeat....

It is in his interests for you to be upset, you will be less clear minded if you are so go in expecting him to be an arse. If he starts to get under your skin take a deep breath and shuffle your papers - if you stay calm you will be able to keep your ultimate goal in mind.

He is going to offer you way less than he is actually intending to give you and he will present it as this is all I can give, this is all you are entitled to Let him beat his chest and rattle his cage bars - you know what you want and need so ask for more than that and graciously let him negotiate you down

If you are not too young to remember imagine you are wearing massive shoulder pads and negotiating with JR in Dallas

We are all with you in spirit giving him the evil eye over your shoulder.

Made me smile, my DB said I need to be like Joan Collins without the shoulder pads!

Yes, just as I am asking for everything with scope for conceding on some, he'll be offering the least with room to negotiate up.

You have given great advice and it does help, thank you!

handful I''ve been lurking on your threads and I just want to say u have been so strong and done so well. I hope today goes exactly how you want it to. I hope you take him for all you can, what an arsehole he is. He never deserved you and his bit on the side can look forward to when he does the same thing to her for you and lots of and for later

Thanks so much, really kind of you.

I have some wine for later

Ha your brother and I are obviously thinking along the same lines. Big fan of -foreplay roleplay if I can't cope... Why not pretend to be someone who can. (having a mamma predictive text moment as you can see 5 times it assumed I wanted that word! !)

I like to assume the worst when something challenging is happening, then hopefully I am pleasantly surprised if it ends up not so bad!

You have made me so much today! Not sure it will be appropriate for me to do foreplay though. Mind boggles as to why your phone insists on that!

Foreplay definately not on the agenda!

I just thought "why is it insistent I want that word. .. god I must be getting old"

It also keep throwing in the name of a random Welsh town!