The git is refusing to move in with his friend...

[Lemmingswife]

Until we exchange contracts on our house!
I am SO angry & upset. This could take months & months.
I asked him last night if he was intending to make the move sometime next week, seen as his friend returns late on Sunday. He said "I'm not moving in with him....well not until the house has been sold & we have exchanged contracts."
He told me that he was prepared to make the move, until a friend (who he won't name) pointed out how ridiculous it would be to look after the children in the house if I ever went out & he said that it wouldn't be right to take them to his friends house.
He said that HE pays the mortgage & the TV licence and had every right to stay as long as he needed to, but he wants out too, which is why the quicker this house sells, the better.
I was so upset & furious after he came out with this last night. I cannot go on like this for what could be months, I will seriously lose it.
I would move out with the children myself, if I could.
He kept putting on a silly fake laugh, saying "Imagine me coming to this house to look after the children. How ridiculous!"
I am so cross & so upset. I cannot go through the whole of the summer like this.

I am going to see my solicitor tomorrow at 2.30pm.

I was meant to be seeing him in just over a week, but I just phoned them & asked if he could fit me in any sooner & she asked if I could come tomorrow!

lem...and tyedye,
in answer to yesterdays 'are you a vicar?' which i found rather amusing - i arent no.
i am what most people see as a born again Christian. a bit ponsy sounding i know, but have had a rather varied life and often wondered what it was all about. and now i'm kind of seconded to the c of e, and recently confirmed. i dont follow religion as such, find the ceremony and rules stuff a bit tedious and old fashioned. simply follow the 1st century teachings (most of the time), and believe in love before everything. the old faith, hope and love isnt that far off. the only 2 commandments that matter are love God and love each other (altho thats a bit paraphrased). as for the rest of them - they are all good rules for life, but if the first 2 are kept in mind the rest falls into place.
and i wont hijack your thread too much so hope things go well tomorrow.

Ahhhh, I see, SDO3! You are a good boy then?!!

Excellent news that you are seeing your solicitor again tomorrow, lw.

Can you go back through this thread and make a list of all the things you want to ask, and ask to be done?

It's really important that you / h don't rush into selling the house at a knock-down price because you and he will ned all the proceds you can get! I suppose he CAN instruct the estate agent to lower the price, but just let the etate agent know that you won't agree to sell at a knock-down price. i think it would be worth you having a conversation with the etate agent 9ask them not to tell your H) and ask why they think it hasn't yet sold. Where I live house sales have slowed right down in the second half of the summer, and the agents are popised for a flurry once everyone gets back from hols.

That's what our agents are telling us, anyway.

But they would, wouldn't they!!

Q for anyone who knows how mediation works: Does the mediator have a through knowledge of what would be the norm in a case like lw's? If LW's H was pushing for splitting the house 50/50 and LW paying the mortgage 9hich is what he seems to envisage) wuld the mediator butt in and say 'oh i don't think so' or would it be LW's job to state what she wants / thinks is reasonable?

LW - you have never wanted to 'take him to the cleaners' and none of us have ever advocated that - just a fair reasonable settlement of what would be the norm to support the boys properly.

re the Boys - my suspiciion is that once things are clear and out in the open, they will actually be happier and less anxious about where H is. once you say 'Daddy will live in THAT house and we will llive here, but he will visit you on these days' I think they will find that more od a security than the current different and unexpained situation.

I am going to write a list, Blu. I will tell him about H throwing things & mention how he has just bought an expensive new car.
I need to gather bits together too, as he is going to look at whether I will be entitled to legal aid. Have found a few mortgage details too.

The house probably isn't selling because I keep telling viewers that we haven't found anywhere to go yet!

Are you looking to move, Blu?

lem - you getting anywhere with it all yet? hope the sol had something good to say.
and of course i'm a good boy, as anyone would tell you.

Have a new thread re my appointment, SDO3.

oh - giz a clue then