Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The git is refusing to move in with his friend...

835 replies

Lemmingswife · 15/07/2006 09:06

Until we exchange contracts on our house!
I am SO angry & upset. This could take months & months.
I asked him last night if he was intending to make the move sometime next week, seen as his friend returns late on Sunday. He said "I'm not moving in with him....well not until the house has been sold & we have exchanged contracts."
He told me that he was prepared to make the move, until a friend (who he won't name) pointed out how ridiculous it would be to look after the children in the house if I ever went out & he said that it wouldn't be right to take them to his friends house.
He said that HE pays the mortgage & the TV licence and had every right to stay as long as he needed to, but he wants out too, which is why the quicker this house sells, the better.
I was so upset & furious after he came out with this last night. I cannot go on like this for what could be months, I will seriously lose it.
I would move out with the children myself, if I could.
He kept putting on a silly fake laugh, saying "Imagine me coming to this house to look after the children. How ridiculous!"
I am so cross & so upset. I cannot go through the whole of the summer like this.

OP posts:
Tyedye · 13/08/2006 16:58

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 13/08/2006 17:02

I was feeling a tad hung over this morning, but it didn't stop me accepting a drink or two after the christening! Infact, I felt very much in need after trying to control DS2 during the service! He was the naughtiest boy in the church!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemmingswife · 13/08/2006 17:03

You two BEHAVE!!!

OP posts:
singledadofthree · 13/08/2006 17:08

is ok lem - she said i behaved, which i always do of course, me being such a gent.
and is a pity there wasnt anywhere for ds to play - services can go on a bit for special occasions like that.
and hope yer head is a bit clearer now - things will settle down with the kids in time, is just stuff you have to go thru, thats all. time does wonders for you all.

Tyedye · 13/08/2006 17:08

Message withdrawn

Tyedye · 13/08/2006 17:11

Message withdrawn

stephanieplum · 13/08/2006 17:31

LOl you lot! arent we all 18 at heart?

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 13/08/2006 17:38

Indeed we are, stephanieplum!!

SDO3, there was some colouring for the children, but as soon as I got the DS's over there, DS2 decided to wander off to the back of the church & then scream because he thought he had lost us!
The girl next to me asked if I was going up for bread & wine and I told her I would only go if they offered me the bottle!!

OP posts:
stephanieplum · 13/08/2006 17:50

LOl lw I expect that is why so few actually go to church with young kids. If it is such hard work why bother? Actually do not believe in organised religion in any case although love christenings!

Freckle · 13/08/2006 18:00

Oooh no. Think I'd much rather be 25 at heart. 18 was much too angst-ridden for me!

stephanieplum · 13/08/2006 18:01

LOl freckle I quite like 40 it is like being 18 but with wisdom!

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 13/08/2006 18:11

Actually, I think I agree with you on that one, Freckle! 18 was a bit of a nightmare age for me too. I was 25 the year before I married H & had DS1, so it is my last memory of being carefree!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemmingswife · 13/08/2006 22:17

Here we go again! H is harping on about dropping the house price & how he can do this without my consent!

OP posts:
Freckle · 13/08/2006 22:20

You should respond "Well, if you'd bother to go and see a solicitor, you would find out that you can't!"

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 13/08/2006 22:33

Told him he should see one. He says we can just do this mediation thing & not bother about a solicitor! Am trying to ignore as much as possible!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemmingswife · 13/08/2006 22:38

He thinks he knows more than a solicitor!

OP posts:
Freckle · 13/08/2006 23:15

Thing is, if you need legal aid, you will be required to agree to mediation. However, agreeing to mediation doesn't mean that you have to come to a legally binding agreement. You can just go through the motions and then just go back to your solicitor and say you couldn't agree.

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 14/08/2006 09:21

I am aware we have to try mediation if I qualify for legal aid, & am prepared to give it a go. H feels this is all we will need, & you don't need to bother with solicitors, which is why he hasn't been to see one.
He was harping on about how he knows how it will work because he has has friends that have been through it, & he knows I have been told by someone that I should put off the house sale, but it has to be sold, & if I refuse to sign, he will cancel his direct debit for the mortgage & that's when the house will get taken from us.
He said he is definitely going to drop the price, as he wants it sold quickly & that he can do this without my say.
He told me that he knows I will have to rent, despite what I may think, because I will not afford a mortgage & he doesn't know many single mothers who own a house!
I obviously couldn't talk about any of what my solicitor has told me, so I just tried to blank him as much as possible!

OP posts:
spangles · 14/08/2006 09:44

He's bloody full of himself isnt he
You need to get your paperwork together for your solicitors appointment and get the ball rolling.
Dont know what else to say really although there are lots of friends on here with great practical advice for you... your H really makes my blood boil.

stephanieplum · 14/08/2006 09:45

lw he will change because he will have to. The whole process will put him in the place he is resisting going to whether he likes it or not. Ignore his threats and dont let them alarm you. The first threats never ever come true believe me.

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 14/08/2006 09:57

He can make my blood boil too, spangles!
He has just got up, walked into the kitchen & said "We need to get this house sold!"
I am trying to ignore him.

OP posts:
stephanieplum · 14/08/2006 10:27

Of course you could always say shut up or put your fingers in your ears and sing lalalalalala or say Bovered?!

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 14/08/2006 11:03

Yes, I guess there are always those options, Steph! My sister used to wind me up as a child, by doing the fingers in the ears while singing thing!!

He is in a desperate rush to get this house sold & keeps threatening to drop the price. He says he has gone past the stage of caring about how much he will gain from the house sale - he just wants it sold!

OP posts:
tribpot · 14/08/2006 11:10

If you can, just don't engage with him on this lw. Your house will not get taken from you just because he cancels the direct debit (have you followed the advice lower down on the thread about informing your mortgage company of the current situation?) and he can say what he likes about the house sale but it cannot proceed without your consent. End of.

Have you spoken to your solicitor about the throwing things incident?

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 14/08/2006 12:01

I try not to engage with him, tribpot.

I am going to make a proper appointment to speak to my mortgage advisor, as there is quite a bit I need to find out.

I will tell my solicitor about the throwing incident, when I next see him.

OP posts: