The git is refusing to move in with his friend...

[Lemmingswife]

Until we exchange contracts on our house!
I am SO angry & upset. This could take months & months.
I asked him last night if he was intending to make the move sometime next week, seen as his friend returns late on Sunday. He said "I'm not moving in with him....well not until the house has been sold & we have exchanged contracts."
He told me that he was prepared to make the move, until a friend (who he won't name) pointed out how ridiculous it would be to look after the children in the house if I ever went out & he said that it wouldn't be right to take them to his friends house.
He said that HE pays the mortgage & the TV licence and had every right to stay as long as he needed to, but he wants out too, which is why the quicker this house sells, the better.
I was so upset & furious after he came out with this last night. I cannot go on like this for what could be months, I will seriously lose it.
I would move out with the children myself, if I could.
He kept putting on a silly fake laugh, saying "Imagine me coming to this house to look after the children. How ridiculous!"
I am so cross & so upset. I cannot go through the whole of the summer like this.

Thanks, Kando. It would be nice to meet up with you one day. Hope all is ok with you atm.

Last night was the first time he has thrown things for quite a while, & it frightened me. Not sure what was thrown, but my laptop had been knocked off the table. I think the remote controls had been thrown as well & hit the wall.

He not only gambled at the horse racing, but they played cards for momey on the train too. Don't think he lost much, but it's not the point.

I think I made him angry, because I tried to stand up to him a little over the TV thing. He is all full of apologies today & saying he feels like crying about it all!

Ahh diddums. Your poor little H. He is so upset and sorry that he feels like crying. Don't you feel really sorry for him too????? Poor poppet.

We really do need a sarcasm smilie don't we!

Bet it won't stop him doing next time or the time after or the time after.

Not much of a gambler but I sure as hell will bet the the git will not move out and make life easier for you.

Drink is no f'ing excuse for being a complete wanker.

LM-I have been following your story but have never posted on your threads before.

Even though I don't know you I really feel for you and hope you can sort this out soon so you and your children can get back to some normality.

You have mentioned before that you think your mum may have been reading your threads on mumsnet,is it possible your DH could have seen them also?

LW could he be trying to scare you into leaving the house?

He is probably completely aware that if he goes too far and physically assults you then there is a strong possibility that he could be turfed out so is using every other means possible to try and get you to leave.

He may well have seen a solicitor and been told that if the house isn't sold then a mesher order is probably quite likely and is trying to avoid that.

There doesn't appear to be much progress on the house sale plus it can't really go ahead without your say so from what I have read on here. If he gets you to leave of your 'own free will' he is in a stronger position to force the sale of the house because you will need the money for another house.

LW... Kathlean has made some very good points.

I do hope H hasnt seen your thread on MN... but

Something has got him rattled. Try and stay

strong although I know it must be really

difficult for you [strong emoticon]
we also need a wanker emoticon.

Hi LW, I missed this last night - what a tosser he is. Make sure you log it and tell your solicitor that he is gambling and drinking so much that he becomes violent and then can't remember anything the next day.

He might be trying to scare you, but it won't look good when his behaviour is dragged up in court.

I don't think he has seen my thread on MN. He doesn't spend much time on the computer & thinks MN is sad. My Mum on the other hand, is always messing around on the computer, so I have my suspitions about her - especially as I know that she spied on me while I was using my old regular MN name.
I think H was very drunk last night & also very stroppy, as he thought he had lost his mobile.
He came straight into the lounge where I was watching TV, didn't say hello, just asked for the remote control.
I told him I was watching something, & he said "Not anymore you're not - I pay for the TV license - you can go downstairs"
I then told him that I thought he was out of order coming in after his night out & demanding I turned off what I was watching. This probably annoyed him.
I went downstairs into the kitchen & turned the downstairs TV on, & almost as soon as I got down here I started to here things getting thrown in the lounge. I felt too scared to move from my seat & was typing as quietly as I could, incase he heard me & got angry.
I took myself up to bed when I heard the sound of him snoring, so I knew he had fallen asleep on the sofa.
He was all apologetic when he saw I was upset this morning & said he bets I can't wait for this to be over. He then said he was too drunk to remember any of the throwing, but he was angry about his mobile phone.
Much as he made out he felt like crying, he doesn't seem too upset today, as he has just been out & spent £24,000 on a new car!!

I will make my solicitor aware of the latest happenings.

Ohps! Started to hear... that should say!

HI lw have been following your thread for some time. He sounds like a complete a**e at the moment with an addictive personality and a mean streak when drunk and sober.

He is also financially very very controlling which must be difficult for you. You seem very strong with all of this pressure and even though I am sure you have your moments keep it up.

Hmmm, it would be so rightous if you wound up with the new car in the settlement

Seriously, if you are worried about someone spying on you, there should be a way to delete your history when you are done for the day. Perhaps post a techie question? I have done this many years ago (long story there!) but can't remember exactly how to do it.

TBH, I don't think it would hurt if my Mum did read some of this! She is away for a week with my Dad atm.
I am going to change my name again soon though.

Choose a happy one then lw! Something which reminds you of freedom and your single self!

I will try my best!

£24,000!!! I think you need to telephone your solicitor - he will have done for all your money before long. Unless you are a LOT richer than I have ever imagined
But it is a bit much to be so reckless when he knows that a divorce is in the offing, isn't it?

Does your laptop still work ok?

I think you are right about what started him throwing stuff. he has always 'punished' you if you have stood up to him. Hence the ridiculousness of your family's suggestion that you could possibly have made it work.

I think Freckle's advice re getting the divorce underway is good.

One day it will all be over and you will be able to spread your wings. I really like Aloha's analogy.

XXXXX

We are not that blimmin rich I can assure you!! His car is now 3 years old & he feels he must have a new one! He pays them off over a three year period, but still!

I actually asked him for £50 to buy the boys some clothes the other day. I never normally ask him for money for their clothing, but seen as he is gambling stupid amounts etc, I felt well within my rights to make him hand over some money for his children!

Yes, thankfully my laptop still works. I would have made him pay out for another one if he had broken it!

LW, do you have your marriage certificate? Your solicitor will need this to start proceedings. Make sure you have it. If not, you can apply for a certified copy, but this may take a while to come through so it would be best to look out the original now in case you need to apply for a copy.

Make a note of all his unreasonable spending, the gambling, new car, etc.

Yes I do have a wedding certificate, & I have know exactually where it is!

Then give it to your solicitor and say "Go for it"!

OMG £24,000 on a new car. He seems determined to spend as much money as possible.

I can't believe he can spend that and yet you have to ask for £50 for the boys' clothes.

Agree withe Freckle, the sooner you get the divorce proceedings started the better.

I also agree start proceedings now and write down everything he is doing and what he is spending.

I will do. It's all kind of scary atm, but I know I need to crack on.

He is staying in tonight. Joy!

Well you can come on here and post away and have some fun then!

He's taking on substantial debt - this is not good and def worth mentioning to your solicitor too. I'm sorry but no-one needs a car costing 24K.

I know, tribpot. He seems to feel that he must replace his car every 3 years. There is nothing wrong with the one he has atm, but it is nearly 3 years old & he wants the newer, more powerful version!
I didn't know he was going out to buy a car today - he just came home & announced he had bought it & was picking it up in a week.
He was apparantly offered some deal that he couldn't refuse.