Upset again by Dad's comments regarding our seperation.

[Lemmingswife]

Have spoken to my sister this weekend & she told me that she got herself into an argument with Dad over my situation.
She told me that Dad told her that she must not fall pray to any of this nonsence.
My sister told him that she would support me, as I was her sister & she had heard how he had threatened me.
My Dad said "Yes I did & I stand by what I said. I do not regret a word of it."
My sister told him that H has a very bad temper & that he does not know what goes on behind closed doors.
His response to this was "She is a liar & a drama queen and that girl is enough to bring out the temper in anyone!"
He said that members of our family do not give up on marriages & if my sister did what I am doing, she would get the same response.

This has all really upset me again. It looks like he really will reject me for going through with the seperation & I just don't know how I am going to get through this.

You could just point out to him that, as joint owners, you both have to agree a sale price and that he should stop just assuming that he will have the final say on everything.

You could also point out that, as he is moving out next week, it would be best if you dealt with the estate agents from now on, bearing in mind that you will be the one dealing with any prospective viewers.

There is no way I am going to allow the price of the house to be dropped, just because he wants it sold mega quickly.
Neither of us have anywhere to go yet, so I do not want a quick sale atm.
There is no way he would allow me to have control over the agents.

Well you are equally in a position to deny him control over the agents too. You just need to make it clear that you are joint owners and any decision regarding the sale price (or anything else) will be a joint decision. If he's not prepared to accept that, then it will be up to the courts.

I will make that clear to him, Freckle.
He can't just phone agents & get price dropped without my say, can he?
I don't know why he is in this urgent rush to get the house sold, when neither of us have found another house to move into.
Best I get back onto solicitor, as I am feeling a bit panicked about things.

He's in a rush because he thinks he can get the house sold and his hands on 50% of the proceeds. He probably knows that, if solicitors become involved before this happens, he is unlikely to get anywhere near 50%. I wouldn't take his word that he hasn't taken legal advice. I suspect that he has. He said he has a solicitor for the sale - who is to say that he hasn't also spoken to one regarding his personal situation?

Re the agents, it is probably kinder to them to make it clear that any instructions from him require confirmation from you. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether he drops the price, goes ahead with the sale, etc., if you don't sign the requisite papers, the sale won't happen.

I suspect you are probably right, Freckle.
He is still trying to keep tight control over everything, as always.
Will contact the agents & make sure that nothing is decided without my say so.
Feeling a real mess about everything atm.

HV came round to see me earlier. She can't believe he is still here!

LW - I am really concerned that your solicitor should know about his 'I won't get a solicitor until the house is sold' business.

As far as i can see, he is just trying to balckmail you here - and he thinks you can divide out the house money as he sees fit, and then he will consult a solicitor. When the house does sell, where will the money go, in the first instance?? I think it si REALLY important that it doesn't go either into his or a joint account. So immediately there is a practical problem with his current postion! He's trying to blackmail you into doing the house sale his way - and that he will waltz off with more than his legal entitlement to the money.

No, he can't agree to do anything to the sale of the house without your agreement.

Yes, I'm very concerned about this 'I won't consult a solicitor until the house is sold' thing too. It's completely illogical and suggests, as the others have said, that as soon as he has his hands on the dosh the picture will change rapidly and in a bad way. It also suggests to me that it's just him leading up to saying he can't leave until the house is sold.

I think it's time for your solicitor to ask him to vacate the property, LW.

I am very concerned about it, too & feel very panicked by it all.
I need to get back to the solicitors.

I can see myself paying out a small fortune in solicitors fees, as I feel H is going to continue to be v difficult.

My HV seems to think that so long as I keep my solicitor visits up, it will not matter too much about him putting off his visit. I feel that he should be seeing one very soon though.
I will arrange another visit, as I feel like my head is going to burst!

It shouldn't be h who has a solicitor for the sale of the house, it should be both of you. I hope you are fully aware of what is going on with this solicitor he is talking about.

Have forms to fill in this w/e.

Oh he is an arsewipe!

There's the understatement of the evening!

Oh, f'ing git

More problems. I am so furious!

What's happened, LW?

See thread titled "The git is refusing to move in with his friend" All is explained on there.

Ahhhh .... I shall.