Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Upset again by Dad's comments regarding our seperation.

196 replies

Lemmingswife · 09/07/2006 14:49

Have spoken to my sister this weekend & she told me that she got herself into an argument with Dad over my situation.
She told me that Dad told her that she must not fall pray to any of this nonsence.
My sister told him that she would support me, as I was her sister & she had heard how he had threatened me.
My Dad said "Yes I did & I stand by what I said. I do not regret a word of it."
My sister told him that H has a very bad temper & that he does not know what goes on behind closed doors.
His response to this was "She is a liar & a drama queen and that girl is enough to bring out the temper in anyone!"
He said that members of our family do not give up on marriages & if my sister did what I am doing, she would get the same response.

This has all really upset me again. It looks like he really will reject me for going through with the seperation & I just don't know how I am going to get through this.

OP posts:
Blu · 09/07/2006 21:51

Is he back from the pub and being bitter?

LW - you have had YEARS of putting up with him. he has had so many chances to take you seriously when you let him know how frightened and unhappy you were. Can't cope now it is him, can he?

Sorry you're having SUCH a hard w/e.

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 09/07/2006 21:54

Yes he is, Blu. He is bitter about me seeing solicitor & being a bit horrible. I am fed up of all of this horrible crap. He needs to leave!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemmingswife · 09/07/2006 21:55

He is trying to regain his control

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemmingswife · 09/07/2006 22:02

Sorry to hear your Dad is not being supportive either Toothy.
No date for his move yet, but his friend returns this time next week. Can't stand this much more.

OP posts:
gothicmama · 09/07/2006 22:02

don't let remember he is doing this because he is scared adn you are strong hang in there

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 09/07/2006 22:05

He says that he will not see a solicitor until the house sells, that is provided I don't try & put a stop to the house sale & if I do, he will stop paying mortgage & get it taken off us.

OP posts:
gothicmama · 09/07/2006 22:08

oh talk to your solicitor and get advice, try to ignore him tonight if you can adn don't agree to anything

Blu · 09/07/2006 22:09

Oh Bloody hell.

Is he drunk and ranting?

He is such a liar, isn't he? he always promised you he would go without fuss if you wnated him to. hah!

Add this to your q's for your solicitor. What will happen to the momey if the house does sell? He thinks he can just pocket half, doesn't he? I suppose something has to happen to stop that happening.

Damn him.

Hopefully he will wake up in a beter frame of mind tomrrow.

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 09/07/2006 22:12

He is not too drunk, but is being an arsehole.
He hates it that I have been the one to call the shots re the ending of our marriage.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemmingswife · 09/07/2006 22:14

HFeel hate for him tonight & I feel hate for my Dad.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemmingswife · 09/07/2006 22:16

That should say I feel hate for him. Not sure where the H came from!

OP posts:
Freckle · 09/07/2006 22:40

If you do get him out and he stops paying the mortgage out of spite, contact your lender immediately and advise them that you and H are in the middle of divorce proceedings. Tell them that the house will be dealt with within those proceedings and ask them to freeze your account.

As long as you keep your lender informed of developments, they shouldn't take any precipitous action.

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 09/07/2006 22:46

Thanks, Freckle.
I SO wish I had not moved into this house last year. It was the biggest mistake ever!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemmingswife · 09/07/2006 22:47

If I had stayed in our old house things would have been more managable.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemmingswife · 09/07/2006 23:07

I am going to step very carefully around him, as I have a strong sense that he is going to start getting difficult & nasty.

OP posts:
glitterfairy · 09/07/2006 23:12

They all do LW mine has been a plonker ever since he knew control was not in his hands any longer. It usually gets worse before it gets better but hang on in there because in the end what you are doing is the right thing.

Original poster
Lemmingswife · 09/07/2006 23:15

Sorry that you are still having such a bad time, GF.
H is trying desperately to regain control atm. He said that he used to blame the fact that I came downstairs & went on the pc, but when I did spend the evening with him, he just wanted me back downstairs again, so that he could enjoy his programmes!
He is not being a very nice bloke to be around atm & I suspect he is going to get worse.
I have been very tearful tonight.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemmingswife · 09/07/2006 23:16

He is horribly bitter that I have seen a solicitor.

OP posts:
glitterfairy · 09/07/2006 23:30

LW keep strong! Crying is ok and probably quite necessary. I am thinking of you. Thanks for thinking of me too!

Shibori · 09/07/2006 23:31

i am an artist who does not create-i am amother who stresses at her children because the bathroom sink is scummy-i have no time for ironong as the kids come first.....am pissed,ok,but desperate with it.

Shibori · 09/07/2006 23:32

i am suicidal-big kids could be with their da,littlies with theirs,easy.

glitterfairy · 09/07/2006 23:35

Shibori take care of yourself and your kids! DO not be suicidal and phone a friend or even the samaritans if need be!

Stop drinking now! I am off to bed take care of yourself and look after yourself you are important and make some of us laugh on here even when things look very bleak! Your support is important too.

Shibori · 09/07/2006 23:36

im sorry,very pissed,ive hurt myself,b ok

Shibori · 09/07/2006 23:49

am ok-cvered in scars anyway.xx

Shibori · 09/07/2006 23:50

mrs self obsessed is going to bed.x