am IBU to think OH should apologise to dd

[Sausagewaffle]

he accused her of stealing money, when he didn't actually see her take any.
just lingering around where it was.
confronted her and she denied it. cried about it.
she is 10 btw.
he wouldn't let it go and continuously shouted at her.
hours later, whenever she walks past, he is shouting "thief" at her.

I think even if she did, he shouldn't still be going on about it.
even if she hasn't said sorry
im sure after the bollocking she got off of him, she would never do it again.

i have had words with im and he thinks ibu

De lurking. Well done. Keep strong.

Not sure if mentioned. Do inform your other DCs' school that he is no longer their carer. I expect he was occasionally picking them up. Change locks, etc. and keep on liaising with the police and your solicitor. And WA of course.

Brilliant, so glad you're making progress and the solicitor is being helpful. A good one can insulate you from so much hassle - you deserve that. Also that the police looked at your phone, so know none of this latest round of rubbish started with you, and they can hopefully sort it out and scare the idiots away from any repeat performances.

The point about the other kids' schools and the door locks is a really good one, too. I'd definitely get on to both those if you've not done so already.

Hang on in there - this is the system swinging in to make sure you and yours are protected from him, now. And glad the nursery are also being helpful.

Police have just been and gone there. They have phoned them all up asking what the texts were about.

The person who txt saying "hiya just want to let u knlw that i was telling the truth. (name) touched my daughters leg when i was out with you"

This thick cunt claims that i had sent her this message and when she tried to forward it to them, she forwarded it to me too.

The police told her to stop contacting me and things, and told my ex to contact me through a solicitor. Also told him that i hadnt made such claims.

Dunno bout yous...but i have a samsung galaxy s3. Am i right in thinking that one specific individual txt message cannot be deleted. Only a message thread can be deleted?
Because i have previous messages to this woman before she sent that txt. Which proves she was the one whl first initiated it

Honestly, don't worry. I don't think you can delete individual messages (have the same phone brand and if you can, I don't know how) but there is no way she can produce a text from you saying that because you never sent it, and as all mobile texts are recorded by the company (and if the harassment ever stepped up the police could obtain them) and using the phone network to harass or cause alarm is a criminal offence, I suspect she will be told very plainly that she is playing with fire and to cut it out. Just put it out of your mind and don't engage. She is too stupid to realise how stupid she is, which is fortunate as she is hanging herself very thoroughly.

Do you know if the injunction also prevented your ex from using a third party to harass you, by the way?

Seriously, no text is ever lost. The company have a record of the lot. That's how they can be used in criminal cases - they convicted that horrible young man in Steubenville, because he used his texts to try to orchestrate a coverup, not realising deleting them only deleted them from his own phone, not from existing. So just put this out of your mind - sounds as though your ex and this silly woman tried to cook something up to look like he was the victim, only they were too stupid to do it effectively. You can't be made to look the bad guy because none of it was to do with you - you didn't even respond to his reaction (I would also imagine that he hoped to provoke you). Its nutty and nasty, but essentially meaningless. Just don't engage and let them waste their time and energy on this rubbish, if they've nothing better to do.

Thank you. You're right. I am pleased i didnt engage. In the past, i would have panicked trying to prove im innocent. But i cannot be bothered with wasting my time or energy on him anymore and so i didnt and i havent and i wont.

Yes the injunction states thay he cannot contact me by any means, or instruct others to do so.
So i am assuming if i get anymore from this woman. I can send the police to him.
Then hopefully, their little own drama can turn on each other.
Pathetic bunch of eejits!

Hope today went okay and you're enjoying some well-deserved peace. And maybe a nice or .

I've just caught up on the thread. Wow. You are amazing.

I understand you feel anxious and have lost your confidence, but serious dude .... what you've achieved is real progress.

So pleased you have your parents to support.

Do you think tomorrow you could focus on yourself - food, a cup of tea, finding a pal to connect to?

Thank you storm, today went ok yes, thanm you :-)
Thank you too, tea for your encouraging words :-)

You peeps are all amazing on here!
I didnt hear back about the injunction being handdd over, so ive been abit concerned about that. But ive managed to put it behind me and focus on me for a little bit.
I had decided earlier that i need to just sit.
So i have done just that.
Put youngest two to bed, ive watched tv, drank lots of tea and browsed this forum on my phone.

I am feeling much more relaxed now. Im going to use the weekend to gather some more energy and get my focus back in tact so im ready for monday.

Its been stressful today. I feel my youngest two have been testing the boundaries, seeing how far they can go now its just me. So ive had to be firm. Which has been quite draining.

Tomorrow though, it will just be me and my youngest. So i can see it being fairly stress free :-)
My dd told my mam today that she thinks iam so much happier. She also told her thay she wasnt naughty to get rid of him.

She didnt do anything naughty leading up to that bless her.

Thank you all again for your support, encouragement and all round awesomeness xxxxxx

I have a Samsung Galaxy but not that one and you can delete individual messages. BUT, that is neither here nor there because the police can check phone company records, as perfectstorm says, and those will show that you did not seen any text to that woman at the day/time claimed. In short, it can be easily and indisputably proven that you did not send the text (unless you work at GCHQ and are able to fiddle phone company records ) and then they will be painted into a corner as the complete idiots they are. How they thought they could just make up a text message and claim you'd sent it I don't know. I would say neither of them should give up the day job for a career in international espionage!

Hope you have a more chilled out weekend. It will all get better in time. This just proves how right you were to send him packing.

Exactly mellow. I dont regret my decision in the slightest. I also dont miss him. Which i find very strange. I thought it would be natural to miss any company that you had been around for so long.
Yet no one does. My 3 yr old hasnt even mentioned him once :/

Is it just me who finds that strange?

I guess it shows just how bad things actually were - even though it didnt (and still doesnt) feel like it was that bad at the time.

Agreeing with the txts. I cannot be bothered to worry about that anymore.
They are very backwards to sit and watch me file police reports for him effin and jeffin at me mams - but can accept that for touching my dd leg, i would just send a text and leave it at that. Wtf lol

He kept saying that this particular family were his type of people - now i can see what he meant.
I am nothing like them. They love the drama, fighting and constant up a height.
I much prefer the happy, calm and content lifestyle.

At least i can learn from all of this and make myself better and stronger through it :-)

I have just seen this thread and just wanted to say you are an amazing woman.
So well done. And so happy that your children are happier. You did this. :)

I wouldn't be handing my son over until I felt it was safe to do it, or court ordered.
I found it very worrying when you said that he didn't want to have anything to do with you when you picked him up. It sounded to me as if they had tried to brain wash him. :( Poor child.

Take care

Thank you so much!
I too feel that they tried to brain wash him as he said "i dont like you. I love nana".
Now before all of this, he would say he loved me ...and would have no problem saying he loved his nana also.
But i got the impression that - since they had decided i was never to see him again - that maybe nana was putting herself into mammy position.
Saying somethig along the lines of "oh you dont like mammy but you love nana" and how she would be there for him now and things.

I may have looked into this too much. But my son has spent a couple of days at his nanas in the past and it has never affected his relationship with me.

Thankfully, as soon as we got home he was smiling again telling me he loved me and that he didnt his dad. I asked why. He said his dad hit him in the head.
But he also said they were sharing a single bed, so i assume this 'hit' was more than likely an accidental knock throughout the night.

He said his dad hit him in the head.
But he also said they were sharing a single bed, so i assume this 'hit' was more than likely an accidental knock throughout the night.

I wouldn't necessarily assume it was an accident. Did you ask him how dad hit him?

No i didnt ask him. I know there is a chance it wasnt an accident. Especially if he has woke up through the night. I can imagine how stressed my ex would have been. Using me as an excuse to justify himself.
I also know on the wednesday night, my ds woke up crying (i had him). He has a cold and his nose was blocked.
So quite possibly could have with his dad.
I done the nightshifts as whenever he attempted it, there would be a screaming match. I cannot stand that as i dont think it is fair.. a young child wakes up for whatever reason crying and then to be shouted at because an adult cannot be bothered with 'hard work' upon being woken up.

But this is exactly the reason as to why i am saying no tl contact with just dad

I have just got a text off of him. Asking me tell him where he stands. As i 'promised' i wouldnt do this. Im assumig hes talking about contact. But i am not stopping contact. So he can get stuffed.

The injunction was suppose to be given to him yesterday. But i didt receive a phone call confirming the hand over. Does this mean he does not have the injunction yet, and if so why?
Also, who would i contact in order to find out if he hss it yet?

Haha i have got got the mother of all messages.
"Keep contact between us. No one else. All i want is to see ds. You kickig me out was the best thing u could have done andi thank you for that"
Fuck off!
Here was me thinking he had taken advics and was going to leave things

Can you phone your solicitor about the injunction?
Does the police know about it?

I had told the police about it yesterday afternoon. I dont know if they would be aware though if it had not yet been issued? Why it wouldnt have though, i dont know.

Would he be arressted for these texts since it is breaching his injunction?

My solicitors are closed. I do have an emergency number though.
Would this be classed as an emergency? He hasnt said anything threatening or bad. So i would hate to phone an emergency number when it is not an emergency?

It's up to you.

He may well be testing waters.
If you contact the police about it today, then he'll know you are serious.
No contact is no contact.

I would ignore it but inform your solicitor Monday morning.

Ive just got off the phone with the emergency solicitors to find out whether the injunction was handed over or not.

The lady on call is going to get in touch with my solicitor and let me know what she says.
At least way i will know whether or not he has had the papers handed to him or not.
If theu have i will contact the police. If not,

Sorry i had a phone call there. The papers were issued this morning. I think just recently.
The person i spoke to was asking if contact was for next weekend. So all is sorted. He now knows everything so there is no reason for contact now :-)

Wow. Just read this thread...

Op....you rock! You are doing amazingly. In awful circumstances you are thinking and acting carefully and properly putting your dc first. I truly wish you all the best...you are going to be just fine. Hang in there and keep making the most of the support available to you.

That's great sounds like good progress.