am IBU to think OH should apologise to dd

[Sausagewaffle]

he accused her of stealing money, when he didn't actually see her take any.
just lingering around where it was.
confronted her and she denied it. cried about it.
she is 10 btw.
he wouldn't let it go and continuously shouted at her.
hours later, whenever she walks past, he is shouting "thief" at her.

I think even if she did, he shouldn't still be going on about it.
even if she hasn't said sorry
im sure after the bollocking she got off of him, she would never do it again.

i have had words with im and he thinks ibu

i am fuming. but he is in a frame of mind where nobody can get in. i am going against him and being unreasonable to even consider believing my dd over him.

again - bullying behaviour.
can state he has ptsd and is coming off cannabis right now.

What do you mean when you say he wouldn't have reacted like this to your son? Does he usually bully your daughter?

So he doesn't even know if money went missing at all?

He just sounds like a nasty bullying cunt who has it in for your daughter. Id get him the fuck away from her if i were you.

She needs you to protect her.

Has he always been like this with her or just now as she approaching puberty?

It gives me a bad feeling, that he just bullies your daughter now at the age she is and not your son. For some reason it makes me think of sexual abuse. Perhaps the way he seems to be trying to make her out to be a liar in your eyes and discredit her and come between you, and because she is within the age group when sexual abuse is most common.

I know some will think Im over reacting but this has hit a nerve.

What is he normally like? With the dcs and you?

He sounds absolutely horrible. I would not allow dH to speak to dc like this, father or not.

So 5 years ago, before she was truly capable of knowing right from wrong, she tried nicking a pair of earrings and he's still hung up about it now? He sounds a bit unhinged tbh.

he is ok usually. he does seem to have it in for my dd.
he does have outbursts where somebody seems to become a victim and he attacks, verbally. usually me.
but i put this down to ptsd, and have tried to help him.

but now it seems to be turning to my dd too, and im feeling lost as i want to protect, but feel he isn't allowing me.

then i feel wrong, because nobody should make me feel like i can't protect my children

That's awful. Are you defending her? How is she feeling?

i have tried to leave in the past - but he threatens to take my son off of me. the one who is his. also to make my life hell

i have defended her yes. she was crying and deeply upset

He is emotionally abusing you, and now he is starting on your dd. Have you got any support in rl? Do you think you could try calling Womens Aid tomorrow for some advice?

i am never away from him :|

Women's Aid

even typing he is over there on the settee. have to flitter between phone and pc

Sausage - your last posts are very telling. Get some legal advice please, I very much doubt if someone who has a cannabis habit, is bullying one child and has PTSD would be considered a better option for custody than yourself who has none of the above. If this is the only thing stopping you from leaving then please reconsider, it sounds as if he has a whole raft of issues going on and you are the one (and now your dd) who is bearing the brunt of it.

He sounds like a cunt.

Poor child.

It's time you called women's aid, for you, your daughter and your son.

'Ptsd', 'canabis withdrawal' - all excuses for totally unacceptable behaviour.

Phone them and start putting the rest of you first & him behind you

PLease don't put it down to PTSD. He sounds like an abusive arse. Please contact the links already given,

Sausage Waffle - just the phrase coming off cannabis says it all. What are you doing with him? I'm presuming he's smoked cannabis in your house, where your children are???

Ok - first things first - he can't take your son. No court would give a child to someone with PTSD who's coming off cannabis!
Do you have somewhere to go?? Parents to support?
Call up and find out about tax credits so you know how much you will have a month to support yourself if you become a single mum.
And finally, leave, leave, leave and protect your children from this man.
I agree with the poster who says they will never forgive you for not leaving him. They are more important than your relationship with him.

You all deserve better - please let us know what happens.

thank you all. i will do what i can asap. will have to be in morning now. when kids are at school would be best.
i have no support

uhhh im scared !

Why are you never away from him? Do either of you work?
You all deserve better than this, you do know that don't you?
Do you have family or friends anywhere nearby?
I don't say this lightly, but I think you need to leave him. Your children come first.

Why do you have no support?

he does seem to have it in for my dd.

Your poor daughter