am IBU to think OH should apologise to dd

[Sausagewaffle]

he accused her of stealing money, when he didn't actually see her take any.
just lingering around where it was.
confronted her and she denied it. cried about it.
she is 10 btw.
he wouldn't let it go and continuously shouted at her.
hours later, whenever she walks past, he is shouting "thief" at her.

I think even if she did, he shouldn't still be going on about it.
even if she hasn't said sorry
im sure after the bollocking she got off of him, she would never do it again.

i have had words with im and he thinks ibu

OP, sending you my best wishes. I will report your last post as your DS's name is in it.

Just did the same thing, as it didn't seem like you'd want it out there OP.

You're doing great, and I think your solicitor sounds very switched on. Showing willing on the contact front at this stage stands you in really good stead when if your ex plays silly buggers using your son against you again. Shows you aren't motivated by spite or revenge, just your son's interests.

This is the beginning of the end of that sorry excuse of a man being in your life. You and your kids can move on to happier days!

Ee shit! thank you both!! I didnt even notice!
Thank you all for the support. It has helped greatly!

I am sooooo dreading tomorrow for contact. But i know whatever happens will lead to the same ending. Being my ds at home. Even if ex makes things awkward for me.

You are very right. This is the beginning of the end. As much stress i may be under at the minute - it really is just a walk in thr park compared to the moods and atmospheres i have lived with :-D

OP, you sound amazing, and this is so hard to do - but the right thing for you and your family
hes played with your mind for a long time you start to lose confidence in your own perceptions and judgement. You stay calm, dont engage, and lets hope for a quick legal sort out with the supportive solicitor. The fact that the police have been involved and are aware of the issues over your son being kept from you/contact arrangements not held to/threats and messages is good
And take care of your daughter - make sure she knows all this is not her fault. its your Exohs for behaving the way he does

I explained everything to my dd last night. Explained tl her that some people are like that. I told her this hasnt been a bad thing. It is somethkng we can learn and become stronger from.
Ive explained everything he said was a reflection of how he felt himself.
I explained what those kind of people do and gave her reasons as to why.

She seemed quite happy with what i gave her, and asked questions about situations in where she had questioned herself through him.
I explained in detail, now her mind seems to be at rest and she seems to understand the best she can.
She is like me, and will draw strength from this rather than allowing herself to be brought down by it.

She has a certain teacher at school who will be there to talk to st any time regarding this matter - or any other for that matter.
I also told her to use her therapy that she will soon be attending, to get some tools on how best to deal with this - if it is still bothering her then.

She seems far happier already, they all do :-)

Thank you didac :-)

Sunbeams you are right. Both me and my dad were talking about this 15 minutes before the txt came. Little did he realise he txt as i walked through the solicitor doors.
Hr is very much trying tl regain control in any way he can. Which is shy i worry i wont get my ds back on monday. If he feels he is faing st regaining control due to my ignoring. Then he may feel the need to say ds is ill on mon and so hes keeping him off. Or worse - he will drop him off ar my house.
What do i do if he does ask to drop ds off at mine?

Excuse typos - im on phone

Op, I just wanted to say that i think you have been absolutely amazing, you really have. Your dc's are so lucky to have such a wise and loving mother. They will flourish under your care.
We are all here for you, cheering you on and holding your hand x

Wow bigbuttons. Thank you so much.
I always feel like im such a bad mother with my self doubting!

That was so nice what you said. You have made me smile. You all have.
I really am ever so grateful for the support i have received from this forum. I cant thank you all enough!!

Thank you all xxxx

I never even thought of the injunction!
I suppose he could always drop him off at nursery and i could pick him up from there. Im pretty sure one of the nursery or surrouding staff would hold him for 5 minutes til i got there.
Or would i be unreasonable to suggest that?

You would not believe what the next move was.
I am deeply disturbed, and quite frightened.
I am waiting for the police to come.
Somebody has text me with somethig disturbing - im assuming they have then taken a screenshot and sent it, to my ex family claiming that i had said it.

Honestly, i txt the person who made the statement about me saying i have no idea what you are taking about. I thought that she was accusing my ex of something to me....
Until i received the txt off of my ex asking me why i was making such claims. Which i was not.

I was harassed with phone calls thereafter. I havent replied or answered. I have got all for the police see.

My panic attacks are beyond a joke through this.

I only ended a fucking relationship!

Rise above it all, don't get dragged in. You can do this

I honestly find it hard to believe that people would go to these extremes. What do they get out of it? Really?

I was just going to ignore it until tomorrow. But these claims i have apparently made are very very serious!
I really am in disbelief.
My new neighbors must love me. I have the police here everyday now :-(
I just want to get on with my new life!

I havent and will not respond to them. Ill deal with the police and solicitor from now on.
.i bet this is because i didnt txt him back earlier like he asked.
I guess im being punished for disobeying him.

He's trying to rile you up enough to scare you off and bow down to him.
The good news is he's making himself look even worse, every incident logged will help you in making sure your the primary carer for your DS.

You are very right, little. What assholes they all are though, playing his game.
Either thay, or this person whos made this all up is just stirring. For what, i dont know.
I know this so called accusation i have made would make him feel ten times worse than me.
So she has failed there, instantly! Ha. Muppets!

It also shows how shallow and cruel these people actually are.
He always said that he would happily accuse somebody of being a 'toucher' (as he would say), if they messed with him.

I didnt think he would go to the extremes of setting somebody up to claim that HE was that.

Again, very disturbing behavior.

I really am in disbelief. I need a cuppa and a fag

So is he trying to set you up to look like your accusing him of being a paedophile or something?

Thats how it appears to me

I am still receivig phone calls. I know easieest option is to turn phone off. But this way it logs how often they are calling

Either that or this other person is sitting behind closed doors trying to make out that i am.
What are any of them going to achieve through that?