I Cannot believe I am having to talk about this...

[filee777]

I've just come down the stairs having gone for a bit of a lie down, up at 5.40 with the kids this morning, to find my husband looking at porn while my child is in the room with him!

My three year old child!

He jumped up and opened the door, meeting me at the bottom of the stairs and asked me 'why i wasn't still sleeping' and i sort of said 'can i come in' and he let me, but when i checked my computer there were open pages of porn on there!

I said 'what the hell is this' and he said that he just 'wanted to see what would come up in google'??? so I said 'with our son in the room?' and he said the boy had been playing on the other side of the room - that doesnt make it any better in my eyes.

hes just tried to give me a cuddle and i ignored him and he asked 'if i was pissed off' with him and I very much said yes, did some dishes and have come upstairs.

i dont want to talk to him or even LOOK at him right now, my bloody kid was in the room! Surely that is TOTALLY unacceptable????

So annoyed.

"you have no idea how much porn their partners may be viewing whilst their DC are in the same room on the XBox or watching telly"

I do actually. It is none at all. Ever. DC or not.

Same here anais. No porn in this house.

None here too.

If my husband behaved like the OP's he would be out on his ear. I hate porn for starters, and if I ever thought my DC would see such evil filth then I would be red with rage!!!

I got DH to read the thread last night...and he said the husband is talking bollocks and that Fillee should LTB! This is from an internet engineer.

Either*

Whitesugar, have you not refreshed the thread for ages or something?

And I can personally guarantee you that my DH has NEVER viewed porn whilst in the same room as our child, because he is not sexually perverted or damaged in some way. If loads of men are viewing porn whilst near their children, this does not mean it is more normal than we think, it means there are a lot more sexually abnormal creeps who need intensive therapy and should not be in the family home than we think. Wanting to get sexually aroused children is way fucked-up, never mind the ability to get aroused around them. It is Not Normal.

It makes me seriously worry about you and your own understandings about boundaries and appropriateness about children and sex that you would not only admit to having sexual activity near children (incidentally, this means that in legal terms, you have commited a form of incest), but that you would try to persuade others that the activities you mention are normal and common.

As a further aside,my Dh does not watch porn of any sort. This is because he - strangely enough - cannot get aroused watching the degredation, commodification and objectification of women, as he is aware of the reality of life for the majority of women in the sex trade. Which is good, because I would sew my own vagina shut and be single forever before I would degrade myself to even consider touching any man with a bargepole who could get their kicks from that shit. Don't insult me or him by claiming that I am deluded about this; some adults actually have morals and standards and understand appropriateness and boundaries.

Nope, my dh does not watch porn, and I dont believe it is particularly common for people to watch it in the living room in front of their kids, regardless of a TV programme you might have watched.

However, I think this thread is dubious to say the least.

Just to add, no porn in this house, either. Both DH and I would never, ever view porn...we both see how revolting it is.

Oxford, your husband sounds just like mine.

He has more issues against it than I do.

However, may people seem to want to tell me he is a lying liar who lies! I am pretty sure some just want to convince themselves that EVERY man does it so they can feel better about their husbands little hobby.

Oh and you sound like me.

Which is good, because I would sew my own vagina shut and be single forever before I would degrade myself to even consider touching any man with a bargepole who could get their kicks from that shit.

This is me.

Not wanting to dogress too much, but there was a good programme about porn on Ch4 last night, called 'Date My Porn Star'. 3 really pro-porn fans (one gay) went to Hollywood to see behind the scenes of the porn world. Started off "wahey!"... Came back sickened and horrified and changed their minds and lifestyles utterly.

I have read the entire thread. Watching mainstream pornography is radically different than watching child pornography. I am not for a minute suggesting you are deluded Oxford I am just saying that it happens. I also think that nobody ever knows another person fully and that is why you hear time and time again that the most seemingly perfect parents turn out to be child abusers or chronically unfaithful. I am surprised that you think having my hands down my husbands pyjamas whilst the DC watched telly constitutes incest. If I could remember his name I would report him.

Digress, even. Bloody sausage fingers.

A lot of posters on here who have roundly criticised you have no idea how much porn their partners may be viewing whilst their DC are in the same room on the XBox or watching telly.

Jesus wept. Could it sink any lower.

fuckers

Scaryfucker please enlighten me as to when I defended the "D" H in this thread? thanks x

I kind of want to cry at Wsugar's post.

Incest WTF? who even mentioned that?

You put your hands down your husband pants with the kids in the same room?

Crying.

Watching mainstream porn still involves tacitly condoning and being culpable in the abuse of women, as well as being scummy enough to even be able to find it arousing.

And having sexual activity in the presence of children is legally a form of child abuse. If you can't understand why that is, then... Wow. Handy hint: it's not something to admit to in the company of decent people. Or perhaps it is, so someone might do something about it.

What sort of person risks their children seeing or even sensing something like that? How can that not deaden every sexual urge or need within you? Howcan it even enter a person's head as something acceptable or desirable to do? I feel sickened.

Samu, I mentioned incest, because having sexual activity in the presence of children is abuse, and if they are your own children, that makes it incestuous.

Ahh ok, that is where it comes from.

Still sitting here with my mouth open at the rest.

God that sounds depressing, Oxford - but interesting.

I once had a situation where my young son was involved with much older boys in a child-care setting doing inappropriate things and was heavily questioned as to how much and how often we exposed him to sexually explicit materials as if it's the norm that anyone with access to a computer must of course, be accessing porn

She was a trainee Social Worker.

Scarymuff, that comment (and many more like it) is why this thread should have been pulled ages ago.

People trying to normalise behaviour like that. Whether the scenario on this thread is real or not, it is chock full of apologisers for child abuse. Sharing bandwidth with people like that makes me question what a parenting site is meant to be about.

Gah, posted too soon. Wanted to add: Is it Joseph Fritzl-level incest? No. Is it being sexually dubious around one's own children? Yes.

Chilledguy.....you just whizzed past me.....stop back pedalling so fast.

Still waiting Scaryfucker