Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

domestic violence-support club.

257 replies

tyedye · 02/07/2006 16:01

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
glitterfairy · 04/07/2006 10:15

THanks Kathlean it means a lot ahving support and hopefully after the 19th I will be able to talk openly at last because I really miss having some brilliant and insightful comments into my situation!

Freckle · 04/07/2006 12:05

The official definition of domestic violence includes physical, emotional and financial abuse. Do you have a local women's support service? Check with CAB, as they should have details. Speak to the domestic violence officers at your local police station and they will tell you what evidence they require to take action.

heavilydisguisedregular · 04/07/2006 12:34

ha ha freckle, I am still waiting for them to call me back. I did get a REFERENCE NUMBER though. Boy that did a lot. Phoning the police was humiliating and useless, the officer was so unsympathetic that I got the feeling that I was talking to another wife-beater.
Sorry but I think people should know, that as far as my experience goes, Thames Valley Police doesnt give an XXXX about domestic violence.

Freckle · 04/07/2006 12:36

Would you be prepared to go to CAB with this? They can log it as a social policy issue, which means that they may be able to lean on the police to provide a more sympathetic service. It may be the individual officer who is to blame rather than the local force.

I know the domestic violence officers locally and they are very sympathetic to victims and will do all in their power to assist.

Original poster
tyedye · 04/07/2006 13:44

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
glitterfairy · 04/07/2006 16:01

Oh Tyedye mine will too! My solicitor has said we are in for a long relationship and that X is a control freak, bully and manipulator!

gothicmama · 04/07/2006 17:08

GF I did n't know hope you feel ok - I now when mine DA came through it was mixed feelings -still had a big party tho. Still sending positive vibes your way have tehy got to you yet

glitterfairy · 04/07/2006 17:15

yes thank you!!!!

Actually when DA came through last week felt nothing but joy which was really strange as I had expected to feel bad but have probably had so much counselling now that it has had an effect! After all I had known this man for 29 years and was married for 16 but hey was onyl glad to be rid of him as a relative. Still have all the rest to sort out but I like closure.

glitterfairy · 04/07/2006 17:15

yes thank you!!!!

Actually when DA came through last week felt nothing but joy which was really strange as I had expected to feel bad but have probably had so much counselling now that it has had an effect! After all I had known this man for 29 years and was married for 16 but hey was onyl glad to be rid of him as a relative. Still have all the rest to sort out but I like closure.

glitterfairy · 04/07/2006 17:16

oooops!!!! All that positive energy is going to my head!

CKMUM · 05/07/2006 11:51

heavilydisguisedregular, i don't expect you want to say where you live but it can't be too far from me if you are under Thames Valley Police. am in Oxford. I would love to talk and offer you some support. I am not subscribed to CAT and don't ant to post my email address here but if you have CAT feel free to CAT me.

I have had bad expereinced with Thames Valley Police too. Have you contacted their DV unit as opposed to ringing the main police number?

fattiemumma · 05/07/2006 11:59

what a fab idea to start a thread specifically for this.

as for Thames valley police i had similar experiance with the MET.
When you ring ask to speak to the CSU ( community safety unit) or whatever their version of that is.

youwill then be put through to police officers who deal specifically with cases like this. either DV/racial abuse/harrasment etc etc. so they will be a little more sympathetic..not a lot but its better than talking to the regular bobbies as these people will know what can and cant be done in your situation.

GF its good to hear that your able to be positive about things.

Im off to court on friday for a new directions hearing...so fingers crossed for me girls. im asking for no contact...he wants satying contact every weekend. he hasnt seen the kids for 8 weeks and i am currently waiting for him to be arrested following him breaching the injunction i have againts him....as i say the MET is crap too!

glitterfairy · 05/07/2006 13:09

God FM how awful! I am crossing my fingers like mad and as for positive dont know about that but as I cant talk until after the 19th I will tell all then!

Original poster
tyedye · 05/07/2006 13:36

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
glitterfairy · 05/07/2006 13:52

Hi Tyedye How are you? Is H being nice or nasty at the moment? As I have said before it is a classic trick of torturers to keep up the pressure for some time and then ease off, then wind it up again.

Original poster
tyedye · 05/07/2006 14:10

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
fattiemumma · 05/07/2006 15:46

Hi tyedye. have had to remove everything frm teh pc including messenger at the mo..bloody virus

know what you mean about the bounce back facility. after a while you realise what his game is and you just cant manage to out a smile on hen he is being nice. you know its just for show and your just waiting for him to revert back to his horrible self.
are yous til planning to leave? not been around as much lately as i have been enjoying the sun.

thanks for the luck...have a feeling i may need it...though he has shot himself in the foot a coule of times (for someone so manipulative he is quite dumb really lol) by trying to be all sweetness in front of the CAFCASS women he said that yeah the kids had witnessed the violence but that it was just as much my fault as his...yet he denies there ever being any violence in his statement to the courts! he such a tosser.

i cant quite beleive he may never be a part of my life again soon

Original poster
tyedye · 05/07/2006 20:43

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Original poster
tyedye · 05/07/2006 20:44

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Original poster
tyedye · 06/07/2006 21:10

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Donbean · 06/07/2006 21:15

could i but in and ask advice?

Donbean · 06/07/2006 21:22

ive just gone back through this thread and noticed loads of advice but need to talk to some one and need reasurance and advice about a situation please.

Donbean · 06/07/2006 21:23

please.......

Smellen · 06/07/2006 21:35

Wassup? Are you able to chat via this thread?

glitterfairy · 06/07/2006 22:38

What is it Donbean you need to ask?