I am not being abused, but I was touched by some of the comments on here and thought I may have something to add to this thread. My DH and I have spilt up and his alcoholic, abusive father has had much to do with the split.
My husband and his mother (sometimes his brother too) have been verbally, emotionally and physically abused since he was 15 years old (when his Dad hit him round the head with a briefcase).
To all those wondering how you can find the strength to leave (and I know how frightening and daunting it is just thinking about it), please try. My MIL (soon to be ex MIL) is 60 next year and is still being verbally and physically abused, and my DH is still taking verbally abusive phone calls when his Dad is on a bender (which is pretty often). DH and his brother have been damaged by their upbringing, they both have serious anger problems (although not violent) and have no respect for their mother (although they love her) as she still expects them to protect her and refuses to leave, obviously they also have no respect or love for their father. My DH constantly tries to be respected and loved by both his parents and never is (his Mum constantly blames him for any rows with his Dad because he dares to fight back), he still waits for another call begging him to go to London and help his Mum. As a teenager he went through a phase of not leaving the house as he thought his Mum would die.
As a 35 year old man, he hates his father, cannot get affection from his mother and feels he is alone in the world (which has caused problems for our marriage) and he is thinking of getting counselling. What is my point you ask? Please don't leave it too long to get out if you have kids as they are more affected than you can ever imagine. I wish I could do more for my DH, but I can't help him, no-one can and he is very bitter about this as he is not yet ready to face his demons.
I will finish by saying I think you are all incredibly brave and hope everything goes well for you in the future.