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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How long does it take to 'get over' and how to immunise myself ?

584 replies

redundantandbitter · 09/10/2013 23:28

So, it's been nearly 4 weeks since being dumped for yoga lady. Bloody hard, long days and crap sleepless nights. Body is falling apart . He has done this previously (2.5 yrs ago) but returned 5 weeks later. We are NC but am panicking at the thought of him tipping up again with his "hi honey, how are you?" emails. I lurk here to distract myself and there's lots of good advice but I still feel weak and confused and like there is more to come . I only say this as I know his behaviour patterns. Last time we spoke was weeks ago and he said see you in a couple of weeks . Not sure why? Argh. In addition, Has anyone truly honestly stayed 'friends' with an ex? (Apart from Simon Cowell).

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 04/12/2013 01:03

Ha!

You've clocked up over 500 posts on this thread btw

Original poster
redundantandbitter · 04/12/2013 13:46

500! And how many of them are me typing 'oh but I still
Love him, how could he do that to me?'

Silly old tart! These drugs are great! Yes I still have a huge bucket load of pain and hurt and 'why's but it doesnt seem to hurt to the extent that I cry and can't function . But I have arranged a phone consultation with the GP just in case I'm feeling TOO good.

Hope your day is going well... I am hoovering my picture rails!

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 04/12/2013 14:06

Bloody hell if they make you do stuff like hoovering picture rails, I might get me some!!

I'm working. It's beyond dull. Me and my assistant are having a laugh though. And I had coffee with my birthday friend.

We overslept this morning again Woke up at 7:40. Need to be out at 8!! TBH it wasn't too bad an we were out bang on time!

Original poster
redundantandbitter · 04/12/2013 16:57

Well done on getting out of the house in 20 mins! Whoop

GP reduced my dose to half - he asked me if I'd become more sexually uninhibited. Mentioned bi polar. Not hugely impressed. Hey ho

You want to share my dosage to help with your picture rails? Lol -JOKING!

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 04/12/2013 17:01

TBH R&B I think it woulld take more than that!! Xmas Wink

Original poster
redundantandbitter · 04/12/2013 17:47

I'll bob round and do them for you!

My thread on mental health has been deleted by MNHQ. Shock.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 04/12/2013 17:49

Why?!

Did your parcel arrive btw?

Putitonthelist · 04/12/2013 17:50

Ooh I did my picture rails with a feather duster the other day :-)

DC have gone on a 3 day trip with school so the house is very quiet. Am just looking foward to chilling out tonight and I'm off work tomorrow so can have a lie-in Xmas Wink

What dosage are you on R&B? I was never on more than 20mg. How are you sleeping? I'm really struggling at the moment.

Hope you're ok BOOP?

BitOutOfPractice · 04/12/2013 17:52

I'm good thanks Put. Yes, day off. Good thinking. You need to keep your strength up!

BitOutOfPractice · 04/12/2013 17:53

PS I have no picture rails because I live in a modern box

Original poster
redundantandbitter · 04/12/2013 18:58

Hi, sorry boop off work this week so not sure if package has arrived - but knowing Royal Mail I am sure it arrived the very next day Grin. Thank you in advance, you're very thoughtful and kind.

put I'm on 50g of sertraline - it's the lowest dose so I will be cutting the tablets in half every morning . Marvellous. You struggling to sleep? Get an early night after tidying your entry points and enjoy that lie in- how rare????? Tomorrow is a big day , I am spoooooo tempted to come round and check your picture rails!

OP posts:
Putitonthelist · 04/12/2013 19:11

Hi. Yes have been struggling for a while. Can't seem to switch my thoughts off. Yes having an early night and a lie-in yay!! First one in ages!! Have all day to tidy the house and tidy myself Smile Picked out what I'm wearing for a very short time hopefully god, I hope it lives up to expectations!!!!

Original poster
redundantandbitter · 04/12/2013 21:03

That's a bit poo, what things have you tried before I go off on one

Time team is good for sending you off to sleep!

What are you wearing tomorrow hun?

OP posts:
Putitonthelist · 04/12/2013 21:15

Hiya. I've tried everything from warm bath before bedtime/Nytol/Lavendar Spray/going to bed when I am dog tired. It's awful. I just lie in bed with my eyes closed but wide awake with thoughts spinning through my head. It's been going on for about 3 months. Considering all the turmoil I've been through over the last 12+ months I don't know why it's started recently.

I started a new job in July and am drinking about half a dozen cups of tea a day whereas I only use to have a couple. I usually run 3 times a week but am due to have an op in January so haven't been running for a few months. I wonder if both of these things are a contibutory factor?

Got a nice thin sparkly/lacey looking black jumper that you can see my skin through iykwim, bootcut dark jeans and purple pointy ankle boots with a heel (he is quite tall) I've started using Botanics BB face cream which is fab! - so will apply that to hide my bags with a bit of blusher and lippy Smile

Original poster
redundantandbitter · 04/12/2013 21:42

Ooh sexy lady! LOVING the outfit.

I was going to ask you about exercise , but you know where you are with that will prob sleep like a baby tomorrow night

You could be right - you've had a heck of a year. It's no wonder your head is spinning. Relaxation techniques?

Might check out the face cream

OP posts:
Original poster
redundantandbitter · 05/12/2013 14:10

putHow's your day going?

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 05/12/2013 14:28

Forget how the day is going. How's the shag going?

Putitonthelist · 05/12/2013 14:28

Hi. Good thanks, how are you?

Slept well last night yay!! House is all tidy and lovely. Have just done my nails so just chilling infront of the TV until I jump in the shower later.

Heard off him earlier - am starting to feel a bit nervous so am going 2 have a vodka & coke b4 he comes round!!!!

Putitonthelist · 05/12/2013 14:30

BOOP - haha!! God I hope it's a good one!! If it happens!!

Putitonthelist · 05/12/2013 14:36

Oh btw saw my ex at school yesterday morning. My heart lurched a little but he was wearing the coat that I hate so I soon snapped out of it. He completely blanked me so I guess that's how it's gonna be now. Weird to think that this time last year we were at the Xmas Markets together giggling like a pair of teenagers Sad

Original poster
redundantandbitter · 05/12/2013 15:10

Oh put . It's so sad that you still are him, that must be weird. Still well done for not letting it get to you. Hurrah for yucky coats!

I like the fact you think he's going to be looking at your nails! Lol

You know me and boop will be expecting updates.....

OP posts:
Original poster
redundantandbitter · 05/12/2013 15:15

Still 'see' him , sorry

OP posts:
Putitonthelist · 05/12/2013 15:31

At least I don't cry when I've seen him now! Progress! You would have said if you'd had a response to your letter so I'm guessing you haven't. I'm free on Sun if you fancy meeting up?

BitOutOfPractice · 05/12/2013 15:56

Put you are very good! I am sooooo glad I don't have to see the wanker ex. Not only because I might cry but because I couldn't take the pressure of having to not do the school run in my slippers look glam at all times

Putitonthelist · 05/12/2013 16:20

BOOP you are spot on. I always made sure I looked good when I knew he'd be there - l feel embarrassed about that now. As though it makes any difference. I don't bother with all that now, I'm not in competition with another woman anymore, she's welcome to his cheating arse Smile

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