How long does it take to 'get over' and how to immunise myself ?

[redundantandbitter]

So, it's been nearly 4 weeks since being dumped for yoga lady. Bloody hard, long days and crap sleepless nights. Body is falling apart . He has done this previously (2.5 yrs ago) but returned 5 weeks later. We are NC but am panicking at the thought of him tipping up again with his "hi honey, how are you?" emails. I lurk here to distract myself and there's lots of good advice but I still feel weak and confused and like there is more to come . I only say this as I know his behaviour patterns. Last time we spoke was weeks ago and he said see you in a couple of weeks . Not sure why? Argh. In addition, Has anyone truly honestly stayed 'friends' with an ex? (Apart from Simon Cowell).

Reached a decision put?

I have posted on the mental health section but no one answered (!) so asking you guys ...

Ok, so fairly sure my meds have kicked in this week . Feeling more energetic, positive, less needy, getting jobs done and being all jolly and relaxed with the DDs. BUT .. I want to eat and eat ...and I'm spending like an
Idiot. Bought underwear last week, went back on website and bought a lacy babydoll thing- WTF? Never owned one of those before , don't been have a lover! Even spent a big sum of cash buying shares in a local co- op and put them
In EXP's name (he'll love it - though not when he realises its from Me). See I'm rambling now.

Ok, so spending is mostly sale stuff and Ebay . Not sure if this is the 'normal' me or is this the tablets making me a bit manic! Think I might give it a couple of days and call GP. Confused.com

Tbh r&b that sounds like me normally

I don't know about ADs and how you feel / what you should be doing on them but I very much liked the first part about cheerfulness and relaxed and shit!

As for a FWB there's only one things to do. Lose the shame and enjoy. Ok that's two things.

I'm a bit pissed. Been out with a delicious friend in London for dinner and wine and more wine. I've sneaked onto a train to the BF's instead of home....

Oh boop how marvellous! I hope your BF appreciates you turning up all tipsy ..hmmm thinking how lovely some rampant sex would be right now. I remember exp holding my hair and kissing me passionately...god I loved that...

Ok, focus... See, I'm going round the bed. Thanks for your response, sorry for the ramble... You take care getting to BFs safely !

I've just caved and told him I'm on my way and now he wants to meet me at the station . He's lovely. So totally unlike my ex in every way and I am starting to realise that that is just what I need and want

He's a love! Of course he wants to meet you at the station.. He lurves you

Sorry, slap me. Enjoy your lovely man, you deserve a properly nice bloke

I'm worrying myself sick that I don't feel like I felt about the ex. It's taking a stupidly long time to get through my thick skull that that might be a good thing. That he's not the ex. And that that's a good thing. Gah. I hate how that wanker screwed up my perception of the world and that I worry that I'm doomed to measure every man against him. When in fact he only came up short in the end.

And thank you r&b. This thread helps more people than just you xxxx

Aw hun, you big love . Hope you're not too hungover today

Hi. Sorry for disappearing last night.

Yes R&B the meds have defo kicked in. I'd actually forgotten about my increase in appetitie!! But yes that happened to me too. Could you have bought the new underwear because you find it difficult to wear the sexy underwear that you wore for/with DP? I bought loads of gorgeous new underwear while I was with him and I was only able to wear it again recently. Plus buying new stuff makes you feel good, nowt wrong with that.

BOOP - you new man sounds lovely. I think what you're feeling is total normal. It sounds pathetic but my ONS and FWB are the same build/height as my ex. I never had a type but after him I do look at other men and think I want this/I don't want that. How was your night?

Well I've bitten the bullet and sent a message and he's coming round on Thurs. I'm off work that day so can pretty myself up - not for him for me!!!

Oh put good for you!

I'm fine this morning. Bf was very pleased to see me

He is so far removed physically from ex it's untrue. 10 inches difference in height. Different hair colour. Nationality. Everything is different. But more importantly he's a different person. And I am realising that I need to recognise that and welcome that. Not look for a replacement for the wanker ex.

I'm feeling the love for this thread again.

How are you today R&B?

Hi all you lovely people . Feeling the love today. On a course today - assertiveness blah blah etc, nice bunch of ladies (it's for wimin!) . They've all bought food, table laden with mince pies and butties. Bless them.

boop you seem to be in the place where I want to be. Over and with someone completely different. I am in awe!

put I just want exp back. And while I feel that way I can't entertain the thought of another man. I would always be thinking of him. Hey ho.

Of course you can't R&B it's still early days. The last time I slept with my ex was 11th Feb, it's nearly 10 months ago. It was the last and best time. 2 days later it was all over. Happy F**King Valentines!! I can't believe where I am now - I know I keep saying it but you will get there x

BOOP - you sound in a good place. Meeting someone else and knowiing someone else fancies/likes you is a fantastic tonic.

I've just been out to buy some condoms and a whole load of other stuff that I didn't need and now I just need to decide what to wear!!

Something easy to take off Put!

R&B you will get there. I still get dark moments (I have an anniversary coming up in a few days and I'm dreading it!) and I'd be a liar if I said I don't think about him every day. Because I do. But time gives you perspective and makes the pain fade a lot. I spent 5 months last year crying for him and truly believing he was the only man I'd ever love. Even after the scales fell from my eyes in January, I would still have had him back in a heartbeat. But now the glasses I look at him through are distinctly less rosy. And I try and do something positive each day to remind myself how far I've come.

You will come through this. You will. We believe in you xx

Last sex - 20th sept :(

No ignoring you- off out on duty with 2 handsome young men in uniform time to be serious

So.. Any gossip? This threads gone a bit quiet. Waiting for puts date tomorrow!

Well girls I've been getting some very steamy messages today!!! Will be ripping his clothes off the minute he steps through the front door on Thurs!!

Just found out my STBXH is dating a friend. She is lovely. Pleased for them. He's told me it's very early days and nothing serious but I couldn't wish for a better person to be around my children (when and if the time comes) so am hugely relieved.

How are you feeling about Christmas R&B? Made many plans?

Never mind my dull Xmas... I want to hear more about these text messags..

Reminds me of the days when we didn't get past the hall...

Oooo Put! Yes do tell more so us pervs lovely ladies can live vicariously advise you

Haha - well let's just say I don't think we'll be watching a film!!! The house is all pretty with fairy lights and candles so I can dim the lights for a more flattering look Thank god I'm off work on Thurs - I have all day to buff, polish and secure all the exit points!!

Lol at buffing.. "My put how smooth your upper arms are"

First time exp came to my house - 4th meeting - Xmas tree and lights , house the TIDIEST it's ever been, he brought champagbe, had bonkers sex on the white rug in front of the stove. Bloody lovely.

So... No film? Just a quiet coffee then ..maybe a small sherry ?

Yes, perhaps a skooner

Put it's not the exit points you need to worry about, it's the entry points

BOOP!!!

Have champers, white/red wine, vodka, stella - so just a normal day!!! Actually I don't drink at all in the week but will defo have a white wine spritzer before he comes round. Recently re-decorated my bedroom, sanded floor boards and bought a new big cast iron bed - so bedroom is looking good if we get that far

Told two of my RL close friends - one said Nooooooooooo!!! The other one said 'Hell, yes!!!!' I'm going with the other one

WE all say "Hell yes" here But and let's face it, our opinion is so much more important than RL friends who have known you for years!

Your bedroom sounds gorgeous. I want a wrought iron headboard affair as well. Just bought a new lifty uppy bed to keep all my shoes in

I must tell you all one day about a crazy adventure I had in Bruges earlier this year. But I'll need a name change few drinks frirst

put your bedroom is MY bedroom. Though make sure your head end rods are stronger than mine one still bent and never recovered

Good for tying up though

We never made it upstairs had to wash rug

Am crossing out more than I am leaving in!

Now if you don't mind I have to rid the streets of crime silly drunken men

Am in your area put. BEHAVE

Are you a superhero R&B?

Yep. Wonder Woman! (I wonder why he did this , that , the other) ....