How long does it take to 'get over' and how to immunise myself ?

[redundantandbitter]

So, it's been nearly 4 weeks since being dumped for yoga lady. Bloody hard, long days and crap sleepless nights. Body is falling apart . He has done this previously (2.5 yrs ago) but returned 5 weeks later. We are NC but am panicking at the thought of him tipping up again with his "hi honey, how are you?" emails. I lurk here to distract myself and there's lots of good advice but I still feel weak and confused and like there is more to come . I only say this as I know his behaviour patterns. Last time we spoke was weeks ago and he said see you in a couple of weeks . Not sure why? Argh. In addition, Has anyone truly honestly stayed 'friends' with an ex? (Apart from Simon Cowell).

As for songs, go to YouTube and search for Gossip and Move In The Right Direction. It's the I Will Survive for the modern age and I defy anyone not to be uplifted! It was released the week of my breakup last year and I still have it as my ringtone

Not ignoring you all... Out with my volunteer pals for Xmas drinks x

Slightly air guitarist _ Daugherty , over you , :-) a bit of eye candy to boot lol

Good for u girl, enjoy the night x

Hi boop sorry to hear about your day. I take it back.., you're not remotely sensible. Better?

On my way home.. Sober but good to be out.

Internet went down last night so I couldnt get on.

Thank you for the welcome :-D

Its been almost 3 months. I am better than I was but the pain is still there and its very raw, as you all know ! want to hate him but I cant, want to stop loving him but I cant ! x

Oh just. It's tough isn't it when your heart hasn't quite caught up with your head

I've had a cry today as well. I'm over tired and it's been an emotional week. Sometimes it still catches me unawares

I have got my crying down to once a day :-)

Sorry you have had a tough week :-( hope you have something nice planned for the weekend :-)

R&B How are you?x

Hi boop are you feeling any better today hun? Chin up chuck . You've had an emotional week by the sounds of things.

just - same time scale as me. Still fed up, rejected, sad, confused and lonely. The days go on Dont they? What are you doing today?

cjel - think the meds are kicking in. Feel so much more positive - though part of me is determined to continue wallowing and looking back - most of me is plodding forwards. Today I miss him, miss a pair of strong arms around me, miss the adoration and his smell. I've even bought new underwear that no one will see :(

Hello lovely ladies. I am much better thank you. Had a top night out with a friend on Friday, dancing and drinking

Then I've had another friend to visit last night. What would we do without our friends eh? I've just been talking to my friend about my wanker ex and how what he did to me continues to affect my new relationship. She's made some useful insights. My new BF is soooooo different from ex it's untrue. I need to remember that

R&B you see I think you are doing better than you think. Out with freinds, new underwear, improved positivity. You are so very hard on yourself but I think you're doing great xx

Cheers hun. Feeling so much better. Am
Baking cookies with the DDs this aft and making Xmas decorations. Should have taken these meds YEARS ago. Yes, one down side is its quashed my sexual desires, but wasn't having any if it with DDs dad anyway . Live and learn.

Anyway - I'm up for a meet in the new year. I went to university in Coventry and best mate still there. Any takers - cjel, put, such, fucked, just .. we could try and guess who each other is. Ok, that might sound better typed than in RL

Wel jel of your top dancing night!

Midlands would be grat for me.

Hi all.

So pleased you're feeling much better R&B

I'm all at sea at the mo. Got asked out for a drink by a very good friends relative last week. He is much younger than me. Agreed to a drink but have invited round to mine on Thursday night - I think I would be embarrassed to be mistaken for his Mum if we went out! Still no regrets about my ONS - I just seem to be craving male company and sex at the moment. What am I doing??

Definitely up for meeting - let's try and sort a date. Never been to Coventry - well not the place anyway!!

Coventry is cool for me also, will be coming from Leicester
Just spent the weekend in London with a very good friend, plenty of drinks, laughter and attention ! - Light at end of tunnel maybe, she knew my ex and was giving very sound opinions of his behaviour. Like mentioned previously where would be be without our very wonderful friends.
In a very " all will be ok" mood, maybe still have far too much wine in my system !

Hi, wasn't suggesting Coventry as such, just mentioning I could stay there overnight. Happy to meet anywhere. Be summat jolly to look forward to in the new year take my mind off tax return

put so this chap is coming to your house on Thursday...... The plot thickens,...

Is Birmingham a good central spot to meet ??

R&B - I'm having 2nd thoughts about it now. In the last 12 mnths my marriage has ended, my heart has been broken and I've had my first ever ONS. I feel like I'm in a soap opera!!! I said I would message him after the weekend with time, etc. Now I'm not sure what to do???? Help!!!

Brum would be good

Does he have to come to your house? Can't you meet in a bar - then you can a) back out or b) just have a drink and leave early - type-thing. Coming to the house is a bit loaded no? If you def don't want to see then just text him
With a sorry, just not up to it. How you feeling now?

That's the thing R&B, if I'm honest I do only want one thing from him. What the hell is wrong with me? Up until my ONS I'd only slept with 2 men in over 20 years. I don't want to meet in a bar because he is so much younger than me and I'd feel embarrassed if we bumped into someone I knew. I know I'm not ready for a relationship and a FWB is probably what I do want at the mo. I feel like a brazen hussy!!!

Well, if you think you both want the same thing -FWB - then go with it. How well do you know him? If he's a lot younger than you, is he going to be 'mature' enough for you... Or is that not why you're interested in him ? (Sorry!)

Same here - 2 men in 20 years .

Know him fairly well. He's related to a very good friend of mine. Don't apologise - I'm not interested how mature he is only that he's very attractive and he seems to like me!!! A gang of us went out last Sat night, we get on well, we laugh and share some interests. I had no idea that he liked me until he sent me a message the next day. My friend doesn't know btw, she wouldn't be impressed, that's another reason I'm getting cold feet......

I wouldn't ask me for advice .., I have a shit track record and a non existent b'shit radar . I would drop down dead if anyone EVER approached me .

Draw up a list. Sounds like you may have more cons than pros