Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

ExH got engaged to OW yesterday

135 replies

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 26/09/2013 22:45

And I'm not sure how I feel about it. We separated 2 years ago after 22 year together, 16 of them married and have 3 boys, when I found out about the affair. The boys are with him this weekend, so I'm on my own at home.

I feel a bit numb. I think I'm going to be upset when it sinks in, but it's obviously just the latest in a long list of hurts and betrayals. I wonder how I'll feel when they get married. It'll be her 4th marriage, his second. I guess my boys will be invited.

I've not got into dating, myself. Still don't feel ready, which is a shame as I guess that would have cushioned the blow a bit.

Not sure why I'm posting, really. Just wanted to share with those who'd understand. This board was a great source of support and help two years ago, but I don't really come here very often. Blush

OP posts:
ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 26/09/2013 23:12

EJ - daft bint is creating a vacancy isn't she Wink

Ezio · 26/09/2013 23:14

My ex, the tosser that he is, left me for another woman, but she decided to stay with her husband, gets with someone else, leaves her for the same woman he left me for, then gets with another, then leaves her for the same woman again, and now hes with some other poor cow.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 26/09/2013 23:15

'Therapy' gives you one therapist, MN gives you 100's :)

I wish stress made me lose weight, I'd be lovely and waif like. It doesn't. I gain weight, even whilst not actually eating Hmm

Ezio · 26/09/2013 23:16

'Therapy' gives you one therapist, MN gives you 100's

Damn straight it does!!!

Original poster
EllenJanesthickerknickers · 26/09/2013 23:17

Hmm. I'd like to think so, but if I'm honest, I think he never really loved me. I'm too forthright and assertive naggy. She seems much more 'into' him than I ever was. From what I see on my friend's Facebook, she's very demonstrative, calling him her 'gorgeous' and 'awesome' boyfriend etc, which makes me boak! Grin

OP posts:
NonnoMum · 26/09/2013 23:17

As my mother would say...

Perhaps she loves the taste of wedding cake... Grin

Original poster
EllenJanesthickerknickers · 26/09/2013 23:19

It's been the only successful diet I've ever been on! Shame my skin still fits my old body...

OP posts:
ProphetOfDoom · 26/09/2013 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PPPpickUPaPenguin · 26/09/2013 23:19

My ex rang me in the middle of the night, all very sweet gentle voice Hmm about nine months after leaving and said "I am only going to offer you this one time" I cut him off and said I am too tired, he got angry and put the phone down. I think he was going to ask to get back together, I didn't want to hear it Wink bet he never told her about that. Grin Cheeky git, thinking I would want him back I stopped wanting him back after about four months.

Ezio · 26/09/2013 23:20

Ellen, i find that people who do that are slightly boastful and desperate to prove just how much of a fantastic couple they are.

Original poster
EllenJanesthickerknickers · 26/09/2013 23:21

Perhaps she loves the taste of wedding cake... Grin

Or the lucrative divorce settlements. Her only DS goes to a proper 'public' school. Envy

OP posts:
Ezio · 26/09/2013 23:23

Maybe shes like a black widow and your ex will suddenly disappear and she'll be on the news dabbing her crocodile tears with a white hankie.

Original poster
EllenJanesthickerknickers · 26/09/2013 23:23

Ezio, it's funny, but that's exactly what ExH used to say!

OP posts:
Original poster
EllenJanesthickerknickers · 26/09/2013 23:24

Oops, the boastful and desperate bit, not the black widow bit! I can only hope, though! Grin

OP posts:
paneer · 26/09/2013 23:25

anyone of Facebook declaring undrying love and stuff like that makes me think Hmm. (have genuinely always thought that).

the weight loss. me too! forgot how great that was.

ProphetOfDoom · 26/09/2013 23:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
EllenJanesthickerknickers · 26/09/2013 23:27

I definitely have never wanted him back since the day I found out about the affair. I would like the security and fairytale ending back, but certainly not him. All I can think of now is his mouth breathing, hairy back and premature ejaculation...

OP posts:
veryconfusedatthemoment · 26/09/2013 23:27

I have a lot of sympathy - ex and OW moved into a massive mansion last week, whilst he is trying to take me back to court on something fairly trivial. They both earn a bomb and I earn very little, whilst having to pay for retraining. Tonight's statement from DS that he wants to go and live with Daddy more has really put the icing on the cake - especially when he talked about Mummy and Daddy's room Shock

I don't want him back - he is scum but where is karma.

ProphetOfDoom · 26/09/2013 23:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ezio · 26/09/2013 23:28

Its amazing how fucking irritating they become when they aint yours anymore, my ex gets on my tits.

Onesleeptillwembley · 26/09/2013 23:28

4th?!?!?!? Don't worry - it won't last.
Just sit back and enjoy the show.

makemineapinot · 26/09/2013 23:28

You must do something just for you that day - and be thankful it isn't u marrying such a tosser! They deserve each other! I always remember exh twatting on about something with ow shrieking beside him, I just looked at him and said how much I thought they suited each other and I thought they deserved to be with each other! They both shut up, looked at each other then me and exh asked me why I was being nice - I replied "I wasn't!" Turned on my heel and walked away leaving them trying to work it out!! 5 years later I honestly don't give a shit about them, so it does come!!! As long as what they do doesn't hurt my dc (not seen their dad for 3 years - his choice), we're divorced and I'm back to my maiden name, all is well!! Would like to meet somebody but can't be arsed with internet dating so it obviously doesn't mean that much to me!!

Original poster
EllenJanesthickerknickers · 26/09/2013 23:29

I don't think her first 2 marriages are common knowledge. ExH told me about them during the start of their emotional affair, when I hadn't been on MN long enough to recognise for what it was.

OP posts:
ProphetOfDoom · 26/09/2013 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ParsleyTheLioness · 26/09/2013 23:31

Ha. I laughed about the wedding night. As my friend said, Flobaknob...