ExH got engaged to OW yesterday

[EllenJanesthickerknickers]

And I'm not sure how I feel about it. We separated 2 years ago after 22 year together, 16 of them married and have 3 boys, when I found out about the affair. The boys are with him this weekend, so I'm on my own at home.

I feel a bit numb. I think I'm going to be upset when it sinks in, but it's obviously just the latest in a long list of hurts and betrayals. I wonder how I'll feel when they get married. It'll be her 4th marriage, his second. I guess my boys will be invited.

I've not got into dating, myself. Still don't feel ready, which is a shame as I guess that would have cushioned the blow a bit.

Not sure why I'm posting, really. Just wanted to share with those who'd understand. This board was a great source of support and help two years ago, but I don't really come here very often.

"Divorce and the steps needed to come through it happier have shaped me hugely and for the better "

I am going to hang on to this for inspiration, Coming - could you tell us more about this? What were you like? What did you learn? What did you address? What did you change? Are you happier now? etc etc.

Apocolpto, fantastic quote.

My dsd's mum is now on H nos4.DH was nos 1.At some time in the future you may actually start to feel sorry for your ex!

I am 2 years in (also not ready to date yet as enjoying being me for the first time in over 30 yrs) and found out they are moving in together, so many reasons it isn't going to work, had a morning of tears but got over it and now feel sorry for them. had a perfect birthday today, my sister drove for 3hrs to take me for lunch then dcs and dgcs came after school with chocolate cake we had in the garden. I know what they are getting into and I am so content here this evening I wouldn't swap. (BTW my ow looks like the one on the right!!!! and he also has hairy back, they are 10 yrs older than yours!!)

Well, have received an email from him, announcing his engagement as he has told the boys and wanted me to hear from him, not them. How do I respond? If I leave it that will look like I'm upset, if I make a silly comeback it will look like sour grapes. I want to appear dignified and unbothered. Any suggestions?

BTW, the email was entitled, 'Information.'

Very tempted to reply, 'Meh.'

Dont respond at all - when he asks just say, the kids had already told me, good luck to you both - that will really piss him off

'Yes, I know. If you plaster it all over Facebook some idiot is going to think it is of interest to me and tell me'

'Yes I know, you plastered it all over facebook so it was hardly a state secret. How many times are you allowed to get married in the UK? It will be novel being husband number 5'

'Hardly. I knew as soon as you posted it on Facebook. If you wanted me to hear it from you, telling me before you did that would have been smarter - but then again....'

Hmm, don't want to ignore, he'll read too much into it. He knows kids haven't had a chance to tell me yet. Maybe, 'Yes, I had heard.' Or does that make me sound like I'm desperate for news about him? So tricky! Good luck to you both is too nice. I wish you all the happiness you deserve? Oh fuck it, just want to write Meh.

'Yes, I'd heard. I'm looking forward to it :)'

Don't want him to think I'm hanging on to news about him on Facebook.

Will there be cake? I like cake.

That's what I liked about my first suggestion - I think it clearly indicates you are not hanging onto news about him.

'Ha ha - 5th time lucky eh'

Ah, but our very few mutual friends are all quite nice.

*Yes, I'd heard. I'm really looking forward to it, you know how I love a good wedding and cake ;)'

That should give him a few sleepless nights

'Yes, one of our dear friends told me when they read it on facebook. They are very worried about you'

4th time lucky, for her. He'll be number 4. I am surprised they're bothering. I wouldn't be in any hurry. It's not as if they're going to have any DC unless he has his vasectomy reversed and she risks a pregnancy at nearly 50.

I think they deserve each other, TBH.

I know, how about, 'well done.'

'Good luck. Getting married is the easy part. It's the staying married she seems to struggle with'

'I wish you all the happiness you both deserve :) '

(ie none)

Tee hee. No, want to be cooler, sound less hurt, more dignified without being at all pleasant.

Jolly good!