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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

ExH got engaged to OW yesterday

135 replies

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 26/09/2013 22:45

And I'm not sure how I feel about it. We separated 2 years ago after 22 year together, 16 of them married and have 3 boys, when I found out about the affair. The boys are with him this weekend, so I'm on my own at home.

I feel a bit numb. I think I'm going to be upset when it sinks in, but it's obviously just the latest in a long list of hurts and betrayals. I wonder how I'll feel when they get married. It'll be her 4th marriage, his second. I guess my boys will be invited.

I've not got into dating, myself. Still don't feel ready, which is a shame as I guess that would have cushioned the blow a bit.

Not sure why I'm posting, really. Just wanted to share with those who'd understand. This board was a great source of support and help two years ago, but I don't really come here very often. Blush

OP posts:
EllenJanesthickerknickers · 26/09/2013 23:33

Veryconfused, that must be hard. Sad ExH and OW have a large, new house as well, but the DSs are happy to just spend the weekend there. ExH and OW would never have the boys living with them full time. It would cramp their lifestyle and holidays too much. Her DS only lives with her 50% of the time.

OP posts:
ProphetOfDoom · 26/09/2013 23:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 26/09/2013 23:38

I'd love to put a photo on of the happy couple for you all to laugh at, but probably not a good idea. They are very much suited to each other, they seem to 'match' better than ex and I ever did. What with his hairy back and her 'looks like an ugly Sarah Jessica Parker' face...

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 26/09/2013 23:41

Veryconfused, that sounds like an incredibly difficult situation for you. I'm so sorry.

HavantGuard · 26/09/2013 23:50

4th? I think she gets the next one free.

Apocalypto · 26/09/2013 23:57

Anyone who gets married 4 times has either a selection problem or a retention problem.

Apocalypto · 26/09/2013 23:58

"looks like an ugly Sarah Jessica Parker"?

you mean she looks like Sarah Jessica Parker then?

HavantGuard · 26/09/2013 23:59

Maybe she's just forgetful.

Hissy · 27/09/2013 00:03

" calling him her 'gorgeous' and 'awesome' boyfriend etc"

She probably calls them all pet names to avoid mixing names up...

Grin
PPPpickUPaPenguin · 27/09/2013 00:03

SJP has nice eyes!

Is the hairy backed ape, her Mr Big? My ex started to get a hairy back, I bet it is like a rug now Grin

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 27/09/2013 00:03

Don't know what happened with the first 2 but she cheated on number 3 with my exH. They thoroughly deserve each other.

Apocolypto, no really, more ugly than SJP!

OP posts:
EllenJanesthickerknickers · 27/09/2013 00:05

My ex has barely any hair free skin on his back. Rubbing in sun cream used to make my hands go numb. Grin

OP posts:
PPPpickUPaPenguin · 27/09/2013 00:13

ow is the one on the right

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 27/09/2013 00:15

Hee hee! I've just been googling SJP looks like a horse! The OW has got more top gums showing, IYSWIM.

OP posts:
EllenJanesthickerknickers · 27/09/2013 00:16

More like the one on the right.

OP posts:
PPPpickUPaPenguin · 27/09/2013 00:17

like this? I can't believe there are so many people who have spent so long putting together pictures of SJP and a horse! Confused

PPPpickUPaPenguin · 27/09/2013 00:21

Do you think he is hairy? is this your exH?

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 27/09/2013 00:24

Great cross post! And yes, he's a gorilla! And what's worse, he's a silverback with more hair on his back than on his head.

OP posts:
EllenJanesthickerknickers · 27/09/2013 00:26

Thank all! Off to bed now. X

OP posts:
DumSpiroSpero · 27/09/2013 00:29

calling him her 'gorgeous' and 'awesome' boyfriend etc,

She sounds more like 13 than late forties - she'll probably be onto No 5 as soon as the novelty wears off.

PPPpickUPaPenguin · 27/09/2013 00:36

ow

oldgrandmama · 27/09/2013 10:03

Oooh, trust Karma ... it usually DOES come up and bite them on the bum! Divorced my husband after twenty years of putting up with his affairs, including with my 'best' friend. She eventually bullied got him to agree to marry her. And they've been miserable as sin ever since. He's seen her real nasty, manipulative true colours, and she doesn't trust him an inch. Ha ha ha ha ha ....

And I'm single and happy as Larry!

Wellwobbly · 27/09/2013 10:09

Oldgrandmama, you are an inspiration!

comingintomyown · 27/09/2013 21:02

I actually think my xh and his ow (what do you call her once they are engaged / getting married) are well suited with their values and attitude to life.

Divorce and the steps needed to come through it happier have shaped me hugely and for the better whereas xh has stayed exactly the same.

Its been a turbulent week thinking about him again so much after he has been safely in his box this last couple of years but all I have done is dusted off old grievances and hurts and arrived back exactly where I started ie happier without him.

What needled me was in his email about DC weekend arrangements where he then went on to say "More importantly OW and I are getting married next year, I wanted to tell you myself as I have no idea what your reaction will be " . I think he considers there is the possibility , after 4 years, I may be grief stricken. He really cant get over himself !

How are tonight OP ?