ExH got engaged to OW yesterday

[EllenJanesthickerknickers]

And I'm not sure how I feel about it. We separated 2 years ago after 22 year together, 16 of them married and have 3 boys, when I found out about the affair. The boys are with him this weekend, so I'm on my own at home.

I feel a bit numb. I think I'm going to be upset when it sinks in, but it's obviously just the latest in a long list of hurts and betrayals. I wonder how I'll feel when they get married. It'll be her 4th marriage, his second. I guess my boys will be invited.

I've not got into dating, myself. Still don't feel ready, which is a shame as I guess that would have cushioned the blow a bit.

Not sure why I'm posting, really. Just wanted to share with those who'd understand. This board was a great source of support and help two years ago, but I don't really come here very often.

Op this is bound to be a difficult time. I agree with the poster that said try and plan something lovely for you to do on the day they get married. It will get easier. I wish you all the best.

As for unashamedow, ladies I have seen her on a few threads. She is jumping from thread to thread talking horse shit and constantly contradicting herself. Everyone keeps pointing it out to her so Op take no notice. There are some unresolved issues with that one.

unashamed, happier without xs there is usually a reason why dw is horrid, you will discover in time - btw i think the ladydoth protest too much- are you trying to convince us or yourself?xx

What I would have replied:

'Oh how nice. You'll have to remind us of the date nearer the time if you want the boys to come. Congratulations!'

-on the surface, completely nice. Nothing he can possibly complain about.

-'how nice' - the kind of phrase one would use to a bare acquaintance. Message: you don't care. You certainl aren't affected emotionally.

-'remind us' - subtle indication that this isn't going to be an important date on the calendar at your house. Will fuck him off.

• as will 'IF you want the boys to come.' Hints that you don't see this as a significant event, hmm, slips in the idea that you think there's a chance it might not even happen, and that the boys certainly won't be central to it. Also gives the subtle message that the boys are 'located' in your family, not any new one he might fancy that he's creating.

• but what can he POSSIBLY complain about?! it's a lovely message. You even end with a jaunty 'Congratulations!'

He'll feel fucked off to the max when he reads that, and he won't even be able to articulate why.

Wow, unashamed other woman, eh?

I find a bit of humour in these situations to be the way to go, but I've already replied with, 'Thanks for the info.'

I couldn't possibly put, 'How nice' or say 'Congratulations.' Both he and I would know that I was lying though gritted teeth. I don't chit chat with him at all. All correspondence is through email or text and is just the basic info. No unnecessary flowery language or salutations.

I've enjoyed this thread, thanks ladies. I'll try to pop in more often.

It must be really hard to see your Ex with somebody else especially when you were with him for such a long time. I wouldn't believe this love of his life for a second. I'm afraid I'd be very suspicious of somebody who was about to get married for a fourth time. Still he will find out in time I expect. And I agree it is totally despicable to announce an intention of marrying somebody when you're still married to someone else.

Ah, we're all divorced. It took nearly 18 months but I've been free of him since January.

Just read this thread...really needed a laugh, great :) the poster who speculated what colour horse blanket the ow bride would wear and whether they'd be carrots to crunch at the reception has made my day. Actually belly laughed out loud.
Op, I wish you well. I think the best advice on here was from those who said to spoil yourself on the day...really indulge yourself. I think your email response was perfect. Wasn't rude but sounded uninterested enough.
X

The email response was great, well done.

'Thank you for your e-mail, the contents of which have been noted. I hope you will be as happy in your life as I am.'

Any good?