Husband on dating sites-how original

[dhisawanker]

Found out that h has been on dating sites such as 'shagoholic' 'gay partners' 'upforit' and he now classes himself as bisexual. This is not the first time. He was doing it before we married

i had it out with him and apparently its all my fault because i didnt love him enough. Im a fucking bitch and he is done with me? er i threw u out matey

he is staying at his mums and i feel lost, cheated and marriage was a fraud

He loves you. It's all his fault. He wants to try again.

He is also happy to clear out the bank account...

Actions speak louder than words. His actions demonstrate utter contempt and innate selfishness.

Frankly I think you are well rid of this wanker.

yep!!

I agree but what can i do about it about it apart from feed him a load of dog livers apparently it has loads of vitamin A and is untraceable to kill the tosser

Can i put this in divorce?

omg, I have just read your thread, you poor thing. You H sounds an absolute horror of a man. What a total wanker

OP you need some legal advice. Go to citizens advice beureu and start making notes of everyting he does/says and put date & times. You should speak to the bank and put a block on the account. Speak to your GP about the pressure & stress so that goes on your medical records which will be used if your case goes to court.
Sending a big hug! Also be careful with your drinking. When you are under this amount of stress, excess drinking can make you do dangerous things.

OP - keep a record of everything.

Most important GET a solicitor. Know your rights.

By clearing the account he has done you a favour - he has shown his true colours and given you a steer on how he will behave going forward.

Now take advantage of that and take control. There is nothing better to shore up your dignity and self respect than knowledge and a forward plan.

Hi love, how are you doing? So sorry to read about what he's done, but in a way I'm relieved- I was worried last week that you'd end up going back to the worthless fucker. Now, as Tulips said, he's revealed his true colours and there's absolutely no way back from that. I hope you're ok. Keep posting. x

I still feel sad and have dreams about him being here. i just feel sad ..all the time. I want the pain to stop. The bank account i just can but didnt want to believe it. He has no redeeming feature whatsoever x

Don't ask how/why I ended up on Mumsnet today, but registered to just give another message of support for you.

FWIW it sometimes feels like you can't envisage how 'in time' will see your way out of a situation or escape the pain that it causes, but it will.

Focus on the things that you must now do (mentioned in preceeding posts). Get advice, retain dignity & good luck x

I cant stop thinking about him. I need to stop. But i cant x

Well what a turn around!! I feel a hell of a lot better.

Once I told real life friends it seemed a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I cried solidly for 2 weeks but now I am sleeping and eating well. I even bought that book 'How to mend a broken heart' I havent even looked at it. Didnt need to. Telling people has been very cathartic for me.

I am now filing for divorce and even though its hard being on your own i feel a lot better about myself. I found I was losing myself with him

Hats off, its fantastic to hear you in such good spirits.

for being an inspiration.

Just caught up.
So glad you are feeling better.
You will still get the odd down day but they become fewer and further between until it's all OK (ish).
You're doing great now - keep that positivity.
Keep going - you're doing so well!

It's always easier when you can get some RL support.
They say a problem shared is a problem halved and that is so true in this kind of scenario. You need all the love and support you can get and so glad you are now.

Oh goodness me that's great to hear OP! YOur post made me grin!

Keep going! You'll have set backs and bad days but the trend is very clearly upwards now!

Hello OP,, I've just found your thread and can't believe the change in you. Well done. Ihope you keep moving upwards to your new life

Brilliant, my love! Go you. x

Thanks everyone!!

I do feel better. Kids seem a lot calmer and I have friends who are willing to help me. They have been amazing

I do catch myself missing him but I have been reading a lot on emotional abuse. It seems I was a text book case.

I still come on here and lurk and it will never cease to amaze me how people will chuck everything away for a quick bunk up. But there you go I suppose x

UPDATE

Well its been over a month since i kicked him out. I feel loads better but..big but.

Im now getting reams of texts from him ranging from wanting me back to hating my guts. He collected the rest of his stuff on Saturday and it was our anniversary too.

This is what he says -

of the things he has done
apparently he never loved me in the beginning
as he was on a rebound
um he paid for a hooker
um
he met a girl off the net but she was horrible so he only grabbed her tits
he was knocking off a woman at work while i was heavily pregnant but she was looking for love and hounded him
oh i trapped him with a baby
Oh and he waited till child was old enough so he could leave (no i kicked him out)

Is he mental ?