Husband on dating sites-how original

[dhisawanker]

Found out that h has been on dating sites such as 'shagoholic' 'gay partners' 'upforit' and he now classes himself as bisexual. This is not the first time. He was doing it before we married

i had it out with him and apparently its all my fault because i didnt love him enough. Im a fucking bitch and he is done with me? er i threw u out matey

he is staying at his mums and i feel lost, cheated and marriage was a fraud

I wish there was a group for cheated wives and partners .where we drink Wine and watch stupid films and share our stories and
cry . Its good u out the other side . I hope i can get there too x

It is good and you will be fine.

Make sure you get an sti check btw.

I will

I tried last week but they are packed! I was to teary to stay.

When we first were goin out i found a tick sheet in his car for is favourite online girls. I was so gutted. That was 11 years ago. I should of stayed gone x

Okay starting to pack the rest or his stuff or at least hide it away x im finding it so hard but he will never be the person I need him to be. I am forever watching my back with him

I wish I could stop crying. kids are out and older one are on xbox things and im down here pouring my heart out to some lovely strangers. i just hope this pain will go with the same intensity it arrived

I think you need to take back some power and control. You absolutely need to stop engaging with his gaslighting headfuckery. Also, can you tell him that you're packing his stuff up and he needs to come for it all by tomorrow afternoon or it will go to the charity shop on Monday? You shouldn't be hiding his stuff away because it saddens you to see it sat there. I also think that having got away with treating you over the years, knowing that you will always forgive him and beg him to come back, has eroded his respect for you. Something like that will make the fucker sit up and realise this is real, he's fucked it and you're not just passively waiting for his next move.

I do I know i do. Im waiting for some kind of sign from him and it aint gonna happen. he has 0 respect for me i realise that now.

He has given you all the signs you need. What could he possibly do now which would remedy all the terrible things he has done? How on earth would you forgive and forget this behaviour. You would spend the rest of your days checking up on him and waiting for the next hammer blow.

I know this god i know it

i just feel like im cracking up. He tells me that he isnt 'that' man I think he is. Yet he shows me all the time. Its like playing cat and mouse all the time where Im forever being knocked sideways. And he wonders why i keep my guard.

i just cant imagine life without him cos when it was good it was good. Or maybe he has just done such a number on me that i cant see straight.

Im crying again guys sorry x

all he had to do was stop but he didnt. I feel so cheated, My life for the past 11 years. Im exhausted

is there free counseling? for myself. Its obvious my boundaries are screwed up x

yes - you can see your GP - and there is the freedom programme too. You can do it online here for free

www.onespace.org.uk/elearning/courses/freedom-programme

It will be good again. Just a different good without him.

He is 'that man'. That's how he behaves, that's how he is. Words count for little.

for some reason git wont let me register because email add do not match. but they do!

I keep reading his profiles. its obviously he is using the chat thing too ffs feels like im going mad

do not read his profiles - you are not going to gain anything by any more digging. You know enough to show you what type of man he is. Spend your energy elsewhere constructively or you will drive yourself to distraction. He is not worth it, he really isn't.

He won't stop, he won't change - and nothing you say or do will change his behaviour, stop torturing yourself with it.

I feel so stupid. I have blocked his number which feels better. I just dont get where he got the time. Are there any trustworthy blokes out there?

i saw him today he did nothing . what the fuck an i waiting for, i should pull the plaster off x

I really need help . I keep waking up .

I know i need to shut up! But i find i need to let it out x
He says we drifted

1. You still had sex with me you still slept in the bed while you were having sex chats - again!"!! . I still had to 'play' happy families with your mum

He says he didnt feel loved
2) Love? first thing i do when you upset me is to go on sex sites. no wait a minute thats you. I have spoken to someone about this. blaming myself about my lack of affection but i am affectionate i love greatly and deeply -my downfall as now i am hurting greatly and deeply. I know why i am grieving because it means i was capable of love. . you are not looking for cuddles on Shag sites. you are looking for shags. at your work too

That he cant be everything to one person
3) i meant nothing to you. i have to believe that now. I was just a cover for you. and its son in the middle. Be authentic for once in your life. You want cocks pussy both. you cheated on me with god knows what and I still took you back. begged you even . Be truthful. You blamed me but yet your last relationship broke up for the same reason but she got out. i should of done the fucking same instead.

Me on anti deps
4) Help? you were the one causing it! You think i didnt know. I knew even back then because you tuned out. i thought if i was better you may of loved me but u got worse.

he blames me for having no friends
5) you had no friends when you met me. you are only friends with someone when there is something in it for you. I have friends from years ago . because im an authentic loving person. I should of seen it coming

He needs attention
6) you need enticing, you get bored, fed up etc . You treated me like your entertainments manager. When did u give me any intimacy or dare i say it -love?

How he tried too raise my self esteem
7) liftin my morale up?? you were the one bringing it down. constantly searching for something better. i used to dress up and be 'fun' and do stuff outside but you took it away. im left with this shell that i had to fill because i wasnt enough for you. you drove me insane. you forget your mobile is in my name and itemised. i tried to block that out. you saying your were busy but still on your phone. 'chatting'

I dont give 100% and 10% of me is cold
8) I did give 100% then you wore it away by telling me things i should be doing how i should be and i lost myself. compromised myself . you lost your job download shemale porn! a month before the wedding and you promptly ran off and then when you were telling me you started to wank yourself off!!!! You know why i got drunk at the wedding ? Your mate tom from the place u got sacked from took me aside and said 'Dhisawanker ..look after yourself.' I nearly threw up there and then

9. You are ill. A risk taker.But you didnt just risk your self you risked me and son. Even when we were in the loved up stage you had a tick sheet on the best girls you were seeing then you told me that you didnt love me at all I should of listened . When I gave you £1000 (fuck i am stupid) you were still contacting people.but at least i have son.

10. You will find someone else. I hope you do not make a family with them for their sake. You say about you dont know how to 'fix' us. its you that needs fixing because you are ill. Normal people do not go on sex sites and look for people in their area when they have a family no matter how 'drifted apart' they are . the reason for the drift is i know this has been goin on longer,.Tesco bill!

The rest is you blaming me. I will not take the blame for this not this time. I only wanted what was best. Buy the house . ie trying to get a better job.make a life . But you were not there. When we go out you were not there . when your mum took us out you were not there.As long as you have a phone and drugs and a wank you will be happy. You say that isnt you. Im afraid your actions show that it is .

You say son isnt like me. I think you find he is. He is a cuddly person. He doesnt know how to give you cuddles havent you noticed. He goes by you when he goes to bed and you have to call him back

Very sad for you. You dont know love Wanker. Sex yes. Love no.

I just wish i realised this a long time ago. I will find someone else. Someone who is authentic and loves me for me and not whether i have shaved my pussy for them . I wish i could say you are having a mid life crisis but this has been goin on for over a decade, A walkin cliche

your stuff is packed up. in shed. Even reading this back i cannot believe what i went through. I could put more but hey i dont want to hurt you any further. im still fucking stupid

Sorry guys but doin this makes me feel better ! Dont mean to be a bore x

Don't apologise. Let it out. Read it when you need reminding of what a pathetic excuse for a man he is. Get rid of his stuff, disengage, get a haircut and buy some new clothes, plan some threats with your son and and go to the small claims court for that 1000 quid. You can do it

treats !!!

lol thank gawd for that xx

Ok Im mad now. Apparently he told my son that he still loves me but we keep arguing.

I didnt argue. I told him to leave when i took the kids out. He is now minimising and involving my 9 year old. I want to kill him x

At last some anger instead of self blame

Hold onto that, love. But don't act on it

Icy cold is the way to go