Dh keeps doing something I don't like in bed

[Moochicken]

Without wanting to go into too much detail, dh keeps doing something during sex which I don't like. I ask him not to and after a few minutes he does it anyway.

It doesn't happen every time but he did it again last night. He apologized after and said he won't do it again (he says this everytime) and now he can't understand why I'm still pissed off.

How seriously would you take this? If I said no and stopped sex he would listen and would never force me to do something but I still feel uncomfortable that he basically ignores my wishes.

Donkey? He-hawed to try posting under a different name surely? Remind me what was the memo on new posters with numbers at the end of their posting name?

Dear Agony Aunt, I want to rape my wife, but she insists on only ever having totally consensual sex, and futhermore, will only do things she enjoys and wants to do? How can I get her to relax and enjoy being raped and demeaned? Yours, Mr R. Apist.

Dear R. Apist, your wife is clearly frigid to not want to do something that she hates and which hurts her. Despite your repeated attempts to get her to see that being raped and doing things you hate is great, I think you need to accept that the two of you are basically incompatible. Perhaps you would be better off finding a more compliant victim to abuse and emotionally damage forever?

Lweji I'm not sure if it was you who said they only do missionary? I find that frigid. Sorry but I just do. I find missionary lovely when having a loving moment being intimate, but I do enjoy having raw, primal, dirty sex & so does dh. I would find sex so boring if I only ever had dh on top (or me on top) facing each other.

No, not me.

But it's still not frigid (read definitions).

You enjoy what you enjoy.
Respect other people for their preferences.

By your definition someone into S&M, swinging, dogging, etc could consider you frigid too.

How many times does this need pointing out on the thread? It's not about anal sex, it's about persisting with a sexual act after the other has said, 'no'.

But otherwise, please do use this as an excuse to talk about how liberated you are.

Blueskies, why the heck would your post about the missionary position be more acceptable than someone coming on and accusing you of being a [insert patriarchal derogatory name for woman who has the temerity to enjoy sex here] for wanting to use other positions? (I'm deliberately not using any examples, because they are offensive, and in any case that's not the point I'm trying to make - I might, for all you know, be more adventurous than you, I might be less so, it doesn't matter and more importantly is not relevant).

This thread has nothing to do with what is or isn't morally acceptable in bed (answer - whatever you both find mutually enjoyable - or, if more than two, whatever all of you find mutually enjoyable). It's about sexual activities being forced on someone after they have made it crystal clear that they don't want those sexual activities - and that is sexual assault, whether it's the missionary position or dangling upside down from the bloody chandelier.

On a thread where the OP may be slowly realizing that actually what her husband is doing is sexual assault it obviously makes sense for other posters to discuss how sexually liberated they are.......marvelous

No it was me butterfilesandblueskies. who said they only do the missionary. So you find me frigid, do I care.. Please allow me to take a minute to think about that............................................................60.
Err no I don't. Now please listen up because I am only going to say this once. "My sex life. My body. My choice. Also it doesn't get in the way of me climaxing. Like I said I may try going on top later but that will be my own choice". X

Again, this is NOT about sex preferences. It's not even really about sex, it's about power and the fact that the OP's Dh is repeatedly asked to stop and he ignores her. That is nothing to do with not being adventurous , it's abuse and I am stunned that it can be seen as anything else.

I've read most of the thread. Some really shocking, depressing responses on here
Just to echo others - the what he's doing isn't really the issue, it's the fact that the OP has repeatedly said she doesn't like it. Total lack of respect and understanding, and shows a worrying propensity for not giving a toss about his partner's wishes or feelings. OP, this is already a big deal, it's not a question of you making a big deal out of it.

I bet women who only ever have sex in the missionary position have a happier sex life, and relationship in general, than women whose partners make them do, or do to them, things that they don't like, which hurt and humiliate them, and which they repeatedly ask him not to.

Or victims of sexual assault and/or rape and sexual abuse, to put it more succinctly.

And can I just say that if there is anything more pathetic, immature and rude than to pass judgement on how tame someone else's private life is (what are we, teenagers giggling about 'who done the sex'?!), it's using incorrect terminology like frigid to try to insult them. Mind you, if you're going to do something like that, you're not going to be the brightest spark, are you?

No wonder rape and sexual assault convictions are so low. I'm am so sad to read some of the stories on this thread. How has an intelligent society allowed such ignorance to thrive? Your body is yours. You have absolute right over what happens to it (omitting medical emergencies). A normal sexual partner would pick up on behavioural cues on whether their advances,techniques or positions are welcomed. No should only need to be used once.

Rex, I think the key here is that INTELLIGENT society doesn't allow it to thrive. Unintelligent society, however...

international I wonder how much you care if your partner actually enjoys sex in only one position. If he does, then good for you because most men/women enjoy or have at least tried a variety of positions.

Maybe you want to start your own thread or take it to PM?
Maybe start a blog?

Well like I say blueskiesandbutterflies It works. x

Blue-are you serious?! Have you read the thread? Are you really so insensitive to KEEP posting about sexual positions on a thread about abuse?

Does that mean she should have sex in positions she finds unpleasant, humiliating, weird or even painful then, blueskies, if her DH would like it?

Your posts really smack of 'oooo look at me, I'm so sexually adventurous' it's so childish.

Ok probably inappropriate for this thread but I really think some posters may be here as a result of The Guardian highlighting how important MN is to feminism..........it seems people just quake in fear of women pointing out to other women what is sexual assault and what decent men are actually like.

Hi Oxford. I'm not married. No interntions of being either (L.O.L) I only see him a few times a week. xxx

WHY do these threads alwayscollapse under a torrent of rape apologism and woman-on-woman misogyny? I feel as sorry for as I do angry with rape apologist women who have been brainwashed with such appalling ideas about female sexual rights.

Oh, sorry, international. Still, I bet you have a great sex life with a man who respects your needs :)

friggin I agree, the op's H is not respecting her/her body by continuing to do what she's asked him not too.
The fact she feels so strongly about it to post on here proves he's intimidating her. To me, it borders on sexual assault.

On a seperate note, oxford only ever having sex in one position is frigid in my view. It was not my intention to insult to anyone, merely an observation, of which I am shocked by. It is also rather childish & hypocritical of you to make assumptions of posters' level of intelligence. < Ta da>

Sexually unadventurous maybe but the use of frigid is incorrect.