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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I think I'm going to finish with DP

260 replies

Johnny5needsinput · 02/09/2013 18:14

I'm a regular. Please don't out me if you recognise me. I am female the user name is from a film called short circuit.

I'm going to finish with DP. I feel sick.

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cloudskitchen · 02/09/2013 21:22

Last ditch attempt at controlling the situation perhaps?

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AnyFucker · 02/09/2013 21:22

I don't think you should poke him, love

Let it lie, it's for the best

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mammadiggingdeep · 02/09/2013 21:22

If I were u I'd be cracking open the moet and dancing a jig.....you have just escaped a wrong 'un!! High 5 x

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Johnny5needsinput · 02/09/2013 21:22

Doors are locked. Windows are locked. I won't answer the door to him if he pitches up here. That's sensible, not over anxious, right?

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Johnny5needsinput · 02/09/2013 21:24

If it comes to it I can leave his stuff at his sisters. Change my locks. And whatever is there of mine I will chalk up to experience and cll it cheap at twice the price.

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cloudskitchen · 02/09/2013 21:24

Given what you have said about him I'd say sensible.

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AnyFucker · 02/09/2013 21:25

Very sensible.

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Johnny5needsinput · 02/09/2013 21:27

I feel bad, because he hasn't actually ever done anything violent to me. But I've been uneasy with him these last few weeks. Since I found out about the degree, really.

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cloudskitchen · 02/09/2013 21:29

You shouldn't feel bad. On the basis of the lies alone you have good reason to wrap up the relationship. The rest is your instincts which you should trust.

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AllThatGlistens · 02/09/2013 21:31

Your instincts have served you well, trust them Smile

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Johnny5needsinput · 02/09/2013 21:33

He had this way of making me feel inferior. He is a professional, on a good salary. I was a single parent in a rented house working part time until a few weeks ago I'm now full time. He'd take me out and buy me dinner or pick me up in his poncey car and in subtle ways just make me feel like he was doing me a favour going out with me.

I'm rambling. Sorry.

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WhiteandGreen · 02/09/2013 21:33

You sound like you are being very sensible about this.

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Johnny5needsinput · 02/09/2013 21:35

Even in the last year, ages ago, I had a chance to go for a full time job. He talked me out of it. I suppose that suited him. Kept me less,than him in his head somehow.

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Johnny5needsinput · 02/09/2013 21:37

And he would come here and this house wouldn't be clean enough for him and he would clean. But he did it in a way that made me aware I had failed to reach a standard (and the house isn't that dirty I promise). He also would never ever have sex unless we both showered right beforehand and I re-did my hair and make up.

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Fairenuff · 02/09/2013 21:42

You are so much better off without him. This was always going to end badly. Better now than much later.

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knickernicker · 02/09/2013 21:42

..and you had to redo your hair and make up! That's nuts.

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Johnny5needsinput · 02/09/2013 21:45

To be fair, he didn't do that in the very beginning, but after a couple of months that just became what we did before we had sex we would shower separately, and I would re-do my face and hair. I can't defend why I did it, it just kind of crept up on me as what we did.

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Johnny5needsinput · 02/09/2013 21:47

I've really been a bit of a mug, haven't I!

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cloudskitchen · 02/09/2013 21:47

In all seriousness, who is inferior? You or the person that needs to lie about their life to make themselves appear better or at least different to who they really are?

If anyone came round and started cleaning my house unless I was paying them to do so I would kick them out (although I do very kindly let relatives do the washing up if they so desire when I've cooked them a nice lunch Grin )

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MissStrawberry · 02/09/2013 21:48

You are so better off out of this "relationship" prison

You can finish with someone for any reason you like, be it big or small, and just because he hasn't smacked you one doesn't mean you have o stay with him.

Don't weaken. You have escaped. Don't trap yourself again.

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Johnny5needsinput · 02/09/2013 21:50

You,are all so right. Thanks. To all of you. Have texted my best friend. She's coming round tomorrow evening. I think she may bring champagne Grin

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Johnny5needsinput · 02/09/2013 21:51

And he still hasn't replied.

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SuzySheepSmellsNice · 02/09/2013 21:51

Not a mug. Just trusting, which isn't a bad thing. Well done for sorting the situation out though and going with your gut instinct Flowers

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Johnny5needsinput · 02/09/2013 21:57

I'm going to go for a bath then bed. Thank you all for the support

I'm thinking over lots of things and realising how he manipulated me in big and small ways. For example, he's on the insurance of my car and drives it but I'm of allowed to drive his penis on wheels BMW

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AnyFucker · 02/09/2013 22:00

Take care x

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