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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is this an accusation?

188 replies

HoopersGinger · 15/08/2013 10:41

In a long distance relationship for a year. I guess I have been a bit cool with the texts this week as I am a bit strung out alone with the kids off school and don't feel particularly into " sexting". I guess I would feel a bit of a prick if I sent a sexy text and my partner ignored it but that is what I did last night. I basically read it and fell asleep.

Today he texted and said I have let him down. He wants the sexy girl back he fell in love with and he said to be honest I am acting like I am seeing someone else. I have been cool this week as having doubts about him in general. I suppose it is fair he has picked up on this but is it out of order to accuse me of seeing someone else? We have texted and chatted most days but I haven't innitiated this.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 15/08/2013 20:01

Take him back, I fear. The OP has history on that.

AnyFucker · 15/08/2013 20:04

OP, you have history on taking this cock back ?

I hope this time is the last time, dude

Original poster
HoopersGinger · 15/08/2013 20:27

Yep. . He's talking engagement rings again.

OP posts:
Original poster
HoopersGinger · 15/08/2013 20:28

He split with me 5 times so yes I definitely have a history of that.

OP posts:
Original poster
HoopersGinger · 15/08/2013 20:29

Then he usually turns up on the doorstep and waits there till I come home.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 15/08/2013 20:35

Five times? Oh tell him to fuck off. For god's sake. Five times will become fifty times.

BitOutOfPractice · 15/08/2013 20:37

While I agree that he sounds like a bit of a cock, I also think you need to be more open and honest with him. Just refusing to answer is also childish. Communicate properly the pair of you either face to face or on the phone . If it's over, tell him and give him reasons then walks away

All this texting / sulking / turning the phone off / splitting up / engagement ring talk / sulking gain malarky is just exhausting to read, never mind live.

Either end it like a grown up. Or sort your issues out properly.

Original poster
HoopersGinger · 15/08/2013 20:47

I know you're right. Thanks. I have to tell him by 5 tomorrow and I think he will just turn up either way.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 15/08/2013 20:59

Why wait till then? Just tell him now.

Original poster
HoopersGinger · 15/08/2013 21:08

I did but then he gave himself an extension and asked for my ring size

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 15/08/2013 21:10

Just keep telling him it's over. Calmly and firmly. On the phone. Not by text. Tell him that if he comes tomorrow it will be to discuss the separation, nothing else. That your mind is made up. Be firm

I suspect though that you like the drama just as much as him.

AnyFucker · 15/08/2013 21:12

he gave himself an extension ?

what the fuck are you talking about ?

it's your call if it is over

over and out, sunshine now fuck the fuck off

text him that then stop answering your phone

it's simple...until you start complicating it

Original poster
HoopersGinger · 15/08/2013 21:12

I know it's laughable. I was being rubbish at long distance so maybe it's me. Maybe I was too god damned sexy at the start. Maybe I will regret being alone and maybe having someone who gives a fuck is better than not.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 15/08/2013 21:12

6 of one....

Original poster
HoopersGinger · 15/08/2013 21:14

It's always if I do x y or z he will not be insecure and there will no longer be a problem. He wants to get my eggs counted. (Live on Kyle!)

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 15/08/2013 21:21

OP, you're just going to keep on doing the same old thing, aren't you?

cozietoesie · 15/08/2013 21:21

You said it, AF.

Hoopers

Are you actually enjoying all this 'drama' ? Because that's what it sounds like.

Original poster
HoopersGinger · 15/08/2013 21:28

Why does it sound like that? Because I made a joke about Kyle? Finishing with him will get me a whole lot more drama that I can not be arsed to deal with when all the kids are here.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 15/08/2013 21:29

are you finished with him or not

Twinklestein · 15/08/2013 21:35

There will be no drama. You tell him it's over, block him from communicating with you & that's it.

Original poster
HoopersGinger · 15/08/2013 21:36

No. I can text now that I know my answer then I will have to worry about him turning up.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 15/08/2013 21:38

if he turns up and terrorises you, call the police

don't call the Jeremy Kyle Show

Twinklestein · 15/08/2013 21:41

Just tell him to piss off. Be firm. And yes call the police if necessary.

BitOutOfPractice · 15/08/2013 21:43

Because you are doingthe turning the phone off / stoking the argument / texting / not texting thing.

Phone him. Talk to him.Stop arsing about the pair of you.

Tell him, black and white, that it's over. And stick to it.

How can someone finish with you 5 times? If he's finished it, then it's over surely?

This sounds like the kind of relationship I had in my teens. Exhasuting and pointless

AnyFucker · 15/08/2013 21:44

love, if you are making light of this because you are frightened of him, we would understand

seriously, why have you not finished this farce before now ?

there is help for you...but only of you stop minmising any abusive behaviour