The Dating Thread - episode 61

[lurkinglorna]

BOOM!

night! def time to sleep

Well in my experience its happened that they have called back after a period of time (longer than a couple of days, maybe a week or so - due to work schedules or god knows what reason) and also that they "haven't" called back and the silence really did mean "no 2nd date".

so basically it could go either way, fingers crossed

night!

@ Bant's cleaning lady and comments...

Morning All,

Bohemian Cuthbert said he'd like to spend more time with me, so I leave it to him to make arrangements for the next meet/date.

So, I gather the spirit and essence of insouciance!! (WFF is a pseudo spell maker)

Woo! with sprinkles and a flake...

Possible the zoo, not sure when as don't wanna seem pushy.
Think that my problem I want to much to soon.
Ie I'm quite happy playing house wife I guess it coz I don't have own place to do it.

I will knocking off work early today

Woohoo 49!!

And woohoo for me... Blimey did I get laid.

My impression is player... But nice one who wants me as a proper fwb... And for now that's a good thing. And he's just texted to say he had great evening etc.

So he'll do for now, until he disappears...

Any more from Cuthbert?

Is it your birthday 48/9 ? If so have a wonderful day and (not like this even needs saying) a marvellous time with the wondrous Mr R&R.

I'd be really put out by post-Coffee cleaning, by either party, although Derby could now be legitimately described as your 'lady that does' Bant

Twinny or indeed 'Nanny WFF' , I reckon once he gets over the shock of being observed snogging he will suggest a date asap.
(I had an email last night in which I was threatened with a 'spanking' - he's a bad man. Sigh )

Hello everyone, have a spectacular Thursday, with liberal scatterings of woo (everything still going well with MA Flipper ? )

Thread high five Hostess - woohoo, indeed

Every one seems so relaxed about dating wish I could be I feel a bit bad that I kissed him way I did

Yep I'm 49

Had some great news from my son in OZ today, he has done the photography for an article for quite a large Russian magazine

My ex has met someone. Found out a few days ago. Happy for him.

Mum is doing well.

Mr R&R has promised a night to remember Life aint bad.

Better get my ass to work. Given myself a late start

All excellent news 49 I'm really happy that things are looking up for you x

Kitty I don't everyone is that relaxed about dating, there's a thing where we just pretend to be insouciant, ultimately because it's easier on your nerves not to invest too much in dates until things are on a solid footing. Nowt wrong with kissing.

I sometimes wish I'd never started dating but I miss someone liking me.
If that makes. Sense.

kitty - of course it makes sense. It's human nature for us to want to be with someone who likes to be with us, who makes us feel good, who we have that special bond with. If we didn't want that, we'd be odd.

Only problem is sometimes people have different agendas, some people have issues even they aren't aware of. Some people like cleaning other peoples toilets after sex. It's a weird world.

I was nervous when I started dating, after getting divorced and several years of being made to feel shitty by my ex - and I went out and started thinking 'I-hope-they-like-me, I-hope-they-like-me'

Then after experiencing lots of strange and interesting and fun and not so fun dates, I got to the point where I was thinking 'Do I like them? Are they worth spending lots of my time with? Would I ever think about introducing them to my DC?'

Derby could be FwB but nothing more. Mermaid is, unfortunately, special. I skyped her this morning with a minor amount of guilt - it's one thing to agree we can both see other people due to the distance, it's another thing to actually do it. I think I may actually be getting ridiculously attached to Mermaid, to the point where when the screen freezes on Skype I just like looking at the picture of her.

If I wasn't emotionally entangled with Mermaid maybe Derby could be more, but I don't think I can get involved like that with her. There just isn't room.

Ok so date number three with MrTalks-about-himself at 10am, yes I'm still in bed. Need to get a move on and drop the kids off and get sorted.
This is the deciding date, I've let it go the last 2 dates and put it down to nerves of awkward silences etc.

MrFlash has asked me if I'd like to bring to kids to the beach at the weekend. Never met him. Would it be appropriate?

Can I ask something stupid ? Would you be concerned if a bloke didn't seem physically attracted to you? I don't mean being felt up when you first meet but little touches etc

flojo - he's suggested meeting your kids on a first date? Jesus I'd run like the fecking wind. That's so inappropriate it defies belief.

The agreement I've got with my Ex is our DC don't get introduced to anyone new until we've been seeing them for 6 months. That's a long time but I really don't want the kids to get confused so I agree with it.

Kitty - some people don't express physical attraction very quickly, so may not give off signs. But if they don't fancy you, then they generally won't ask you out again, or say yes if you ask them. Not everyone is going to fancy you, don't worry, there are plenty of fish in the swamp.

No the bloke I had date with well we called it a mate thing but as he said he doesn't kiss his other mates. I was just thinking back to last one I dated I know he was shy but even after we slept together he wasn't cuddly at all, the bloke from t he weekend we'll I had trouble leaving the cuddles lol

Bant I don't really know what to say but I have the feeling you won't be happy unless you have a proper go at a relationship with Mermaid. You're going over to see her fairly soon, aren't you ? Perhaps after you've spent more time together you can both work out what you want and how to achieve it (mind, I am a soppy git who believes in doing everything possible if there's a chance of things working out)

Flo no, I wouldn't take my kids to meet a man I didn't really know, mainly because I'd find it hard to concentrate sufficiently on the bloke to decide if I wanted to see him again.

Kitty no, not necessarily, he might have thought he was being polite (I have a feeling that OWW 's Alpha was a little like this). I think it's more telling if they seem to like you as a person.

The weekend date already knows that I was a virgin till two years ago and we'd chatted ages as friends even after I said after he initially said he wasn't interested in me months ago I backed off said I'd rather be friends than nothing , we have gotten chatty and I guess just see where it goes.

Hi all! Struggling to keep up with this thread, it moves so fast!

Bant You'll need to check these Hungarian traditions. You may be required to put up a post-coital shelf if the event is repeated...

OD still very slow. OKC seems to be entirely stagnant, and pretty much a waste of the (admittedly discounted) subscription that I paid. POF also not yielding any contact - until last night when 2 people replied within minutes of each other!

One seems keen to meet up, but hampered by childcare. The other I don't think is quite as keen (but out of the two I'd be more interested in meeting).

One thing I noticed (& I've scrolled back this morning to check) was that although both were friendly in their responses, neither actually asked me any questions, leaving me feeling rather like Jeremy Paxman after a couple of hours of chat...

On pof I find I attract the kids lol

Oh not Paxman again ;). Gin I like it when someone on OD asks me questions about myself, but would usually ask them for the same info in return if I was interested.... Maybe next time you're chatting this will happen? If not, I'd be inclined to move on.

Bant I agree with Kin, you can do what you like with Derby (which may be nothing, unless you need your oven cleaned) until you've seen Mermaid and then reassess, as you're clearly quite smitten with her atm.

Flo I wouldn't introduce my kids to any prospective date until much further down the line, unless there was a chance meeting and I could introduce him as a "friend". He may well just be trying to suggest something which he thinks will be easier for you wrt childcare, but you can't tell at this stage and I would err on the side of caution.

Happy Birthday, 49! May your year be full of lovely things :)

Welcome Beagles!

Hostess and WFF - high fives!

Kitty - what Bant said - Then after experiencing lots of strange and interesting and fun and not so fun dates, I got to the point where I was thinking 'Do I like them? Are they worth spending lots of my time with? Would I ever think about introducing them to my DC?' is the mindset I think lots of us are aiming for with OD. In the meantime, lots of us are just faking it til we make it!

Hello to everyone else, have a great day!

I think mine should be called surrogate on line dating as it was some one I met on line who gave my number to his mate