New man. Personal grooming question.

[MyPhoneIsMyWorld]

Namechanged for this one.

I'm in my late thirties, met a new bloke, haven't done the deed yet.

So, the question I need to ask is what do men like these days with regard to pubes. I was married for 14 years and basically just kept things trimmed down there.
Don't want to end up in bed with this guy and have him turned off by my possibly 'retro' style!

I'm happy to keep up with the times but don't want to go all out bald down there if it's not necessary.

Any tips?

[Boosterseat]

Men are visual

And all women are registered blind.

[AKissIsNotAContract]

Hmmmmm. I'm just trying to imagine any of the men I know asking other men on an internet forum whether they should shave their balls or not. I honestly can't imagine it at all.

My DP and his mates have discussed it. The general consensus among them is balls should be hairless.

[reggiebean]

Boosterseat It is a scientific fact that men react more to visual stimuli than women do. This is not the place to debate that. Think the feminist boards are over there ->


AKiss same with mine. Apparently it comes up (the topic... nothing else) in the showers at the squash club quite a bit.

[waterlego6064]

balls should be hairless

Well clearly not, as nature has not designed them that way.

Your DP and his friends have decided they prefer hairless balls, which is fine.

What is not fine, IMO, is for any woman or man to feel they should adapt their natural, normal body hair according to what others may expect or prefer. It is a fashion, and I suspect it has come from pornography.

All I know is that I am dismayed by the conversations that my teacher friends overhear teenagers having...about pubic hair being 'disgusting', and that girls 'should' be bare. I will be gutted if, in years to come, my daughter feels she has to conform to this fashion, if it's not what she actually wants for herself.

[Kione]

Waterlego, so do you have hairy legs and armpits? Because nature didnt intend them like that and I cant recall the last time I saw a hairy leg on a woman...

[Kione]

Sorry I forgot to add, and unless like pubic hair, leg hair doesnt make a difference on how sex feels and having pubic hair or not does. I am talking about personal feeling/pleasure. It is so much nicer!!

[reggiebean]

I cut my hair... Nature clearly intended it to continue to grow, and grow, and grow since it didn't give me built-in shears. How sad am I, that I am such a slave to fashion

[AKissIsNotAContract]

Waterlego; very little about how we live our lives is how nature intended so that's a pretty crap argument.

[waterlego6064]

No, nature didn't intend hairless armpits or legs, but unfortunately I tend to bow to cultural pressure wrt armpits, along with the fact that I'm very sweaty and having hair there exacerbates my sweat ishoos. I do go for quite long periods without shaving my legs and that doesn't bother me, or my husband.

[waterlego6064]

Wrt what nature intends...I was responding only to the sentence 'balls should be hairless'. What is this 'should'? According to who?!

I think some of you are wilfully missing the point I was trying to make, which is that I don't have any issue with what other people do or don't do with their body hair...what does bother me is people feeling they have to conform to what others want them to do. I have stated this several times but it seems to have been conveniently glossed over.

As mentioned, my shaven armpits are in part because of cultural pressure- and I massively resent it. Armpits are on public view, pubic hair is not. The only people who are going to see it are yourself and your sexual partner, and if your sexual partner rejects you on the basis of pubes, then they are a fool.

[AKissIsNotAContract]

Wrt what nature intends...I was responding only to the sentence 'balls should be hairless'. What is this 'should'? According to who?!

If you took the time to read and quote my post correctly you'd know.

[waterlego6064]

And I am not anti- anyone doing what they want with their pubes. I waxed and/or shaved for a long time. I have done Brazilian/Hollywood/full bush. They were all my choices, at the time. Your choices are your choices, that is all fine and good.

Teenagers finding normal body hair disgusting is not fine and good, IMO.

[waterlego6064]

I did take that time Akiss (as you'll know from your taking the time to read one of my previous posts where I mentioned your DH and his mates).

You are still ignoring/missing the point I wanted to make, so I'm going to leave it there and go to bed.

Wishing peace and goodwill to all MNers and their private areas, hairless or otherwise. :)

[reggiebean]

If you read AKiss's post you'll see that it was a "consensus amongst friends" that decided it. I don't think she was setting her DP and his mates up to be the Hairless Ball Committee of the World.

I wouldn't reject my DP now if he chose to let his pubic hair grow, nor would he reject me. But as the OP has said, he's a new guy, and it's not going to be serious. Personally, if I brought a guy home and I needed a hedge-trimmer to get to the goods, it would be a deal-breaker for me.

She wants to have a bit of fun, and asked everyone for their opinion on what the current "trend" was, much as you would if you were back on the dating scene and wanted a new hair cut or a new wardrobe.

Yes, our response the "nature" comment was a bit silly, but to make this question into a feminist issue and moan about cultural pressure is a bit silly too, I think.

[Kione]

it might be quite normal for teenage girls to fing pubes disgusting as in, they have jyst spent most of their lifes without them and also those changes often are a bit traumatic. And I said A BIT. Sorry cant do italics on phone.
BUT I agree that we should shave/not shave acording to our own confort and no one elses.

[AKissIsNotAContract]

at Hairless Ball Committee of the World.

[badinage]

Boosterseat It is a scientific fact that men react more to visual stimuli than women do.

Got a citation that you can link to that 'science fact' reggiebean?

[Boomba]

kione thats what i dont get though...I was so excited about getting public hairs! I would never have shaved them off as a teenager!

[Boomba]

my dd is also excited and impatient! has a bit of a wait yet though

[Kione]

Really?? I hated them, I was so embarrassed on the beach in case any scaped! I also hated growing boobs because they started a bit early. The feeling on pubic hair was similar amongst friends.

[Kione]

I was mortified at my mum seeing then! I suppose ones upbringing has a lot to do too

[reggiebean]

First thing that came up in Google. Feel free to carry on researching yourself though badinage.
www.bps.org.uk/news/men-respond-strongly-visual-stimuli

[Boomba]

I didnt get public hair

[Kione]

at public hair

[badinage]

That's a 'relationship psychologist' stating her personal view. That's not a 'scientific fact'. To give you a clue, you're looking for biology, not psychology.