Dating thread 56 all welcome

[Kirstywirsty]

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;

1. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
2. It's all BS until it actually happens;
3. Trust your gut instinct;
4. If it is not fun, stop

Thing is, facially she was really quite attractive. I think he just wasn't expecting her to be quite that large round the waist, and she had chosen the worst possible outfit

And while I'm not going to defend drunken plonkers, I was getting hit on by a drunk girl the other night who was making it horribly embarrassingly clear she liked me by continually leaning over the table and showing me her cleavage while stroking my pecs. Terrible teeth and wearing leopardskin everything with a zebra-pattern bag and huge earrings.

This was the colleague of a friend, not a date, but it was awkward. Imagine a (slightly) younger zsa zsa Gabor purring 'do you verk out, dahlink?' around teeth like Steve buscemi.

No need to rush out and buy hats, people.

Mmmm, I think that's maybe the problem? Facially attractive, so photographs well for profile shots, sort of "fluffs over" the physical build, then doesn't get much follow up from first meets?

I mean I think people are attracted to different builds, so if you put an inaccurate representation online then not only are you gonna meet people who aren't attracted to you in person BUT you'll also prevent yourself meeting those who WILL be attracted to you and your physique in person

I have met a few chaps who seem to have taken some good "arty at an angle photos" but in person are about 75% less attractive (I'd say its not just facial structure, but posture, dress sense, voice, etc)! So now I try and go for men with a few "natuarl unposed in daylight" shots.

I'm no oil painting myself but try and get the most accurate representation of myself, don't really struggle for follow up after meets. Actually am quite sad and take recent pics of myself in front of a mirror haha!

I do love this thread, so many people on here who are comedy giants. There are far less entertaining people on the telly every night of the week. And no licence fee here either ...

He wasn't offering anything Mercury except the dubious pleasure of wearing on him. Rather be the wee-er than the wee-ee though Wine though far, far rather be neither.

Yuck.

Kitty difficult one - how was it left? It's appalling manners but after a couple of weeks I'd try not to get too down or cynical about it and carry on. This is the time for the thick skin, I think. Hope you're okay.

Snape really don't think the profile thing is significant, but if it's bothering you then ask him to get shut of it.

Bant can't imagine why you didn't get all hot 'n' heavy with ZsaZsa ...

Well, looks like I am seeing College Bloke Tuesday and Alpha on Wednesday. Both for meals out, lovely.

Weeing not wearing. Autocorrect doesn't seem to be a fan of water sports either!

I will say, having been wee'd on on a fairly regular basis ( through work, let me hasten to add, it's not a hobby ) that at first, especially in winter, it starts off with you thinking ' ooh that's a very pleasant, warm sensation' moving swiftly onto 'oo oo oo ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ' as you realise what has actually happened. Not quite as bad as accidentally putting your hand in poo but not Fun Central.

Yes, they do Wine - they're organic and come in various Cath Kidston designs.

Think I've posted this before but

..'and shit the words "Bant is god" on my ex-girlfriends Hyundai..'

Snape, the only time I've had any kind of relationship from OD, I spent a glorious week with someone who then had to move on from my area. I mentioned that he had made a spelling mistake on his profile. He left then I noticed that he had altered it. I tried not to think about it and we continued emailing etc. We were in touch daily and more and I said do you think this was just a one week thing? He then admitted he had fallen in love and can he come back, which he did. OK, outside forces meant it wasn't to be but I asked him what was he doing about POF now we were meant to be in love. His reply was, that he was taking his profile down and any friends he had made on there would go on private email .

I guess he was using the site to make friends as well as find love but I wasn't enamored with that reply. Guess nameless might be doing the same. I would go on holiday then tackle it, if it was me.

Or you could use these

Snape I echo everyone else, if it's bothering you ask him why he hasn't taken it down.

Kitty that kind of thing will just happen. The stop if it stops being fun refers more to when people start to get really down at every stage of it. If you're getting angsty about messages and trawling through profiles is making you want to scratch your eyes out then that's the time to take a breather.

And if seeing someone stops being fun, then stop that too. When you're just dating, you don't owe anyone anything and you don't have to see someone again if you don't really want to. Yet so many of us do - me included, I'm a fine one for giving people the benefit of the doubt and all it does is drag things out.

I think at the very least you'd need a waterproof mattress protector Wine but they do lead to a certain clamminess during sleep.

At work we buy special mattresses with waterproof covers for all our students as standard - I'd always assumed it was in case of drunken accidents but now I'm wondering

OK I need some advice, because I pretty much tend to either do ONS or move in with someone and am currently out of my comfort zone. If you just want a fling with someone rather than it progressing, is it polite to hint at that, or do you just put it off until someone forces a conversation?

@ OhWesternWind yeah I've been the same but decided to try to keep my dating energy for those I feel excited about!

Its AWFUL when you're thinking "hmmm, maybe I should let attraction grow?" and then you date and actually worry in case they make a physical move (when I know from experience that if I'm with someone I properly like I want to jump on them).

Don't think I dismiss people too quickly, but usually my initial "fancy/don't fancy" instinct is spot on!

@ ALittleStranger

Personally, I'd not have the official talk to declare it a Fling.

Just keep contact, be honest, don't bring them into your friendship group or meeting kids/parents or whatever, and I guess both of you are free to look for/meet other people so don't hide your profile?

also of course it is nice to chat with a fling about "general things" but don't let conversations go in the direction of "future joint life together".

(I've found that men I've started dating bring up the "sexual health" talk as a way into the discussion once we've spent a night together - i.e. the whole "condom/no condom" talk is a fairly direct way to ask "are you just sleeping with/planning on sleeping with" me ?)

Lorna Thanks. That all sounds manageable. Although I'd expect condoms with a new partner, even if it is monogomous. I've decided I'm not actively looking for other people as I find that a bit rude to be honest. I'd happy to stack up 1st and 2nd dates like buses but for me I don't think it's polite to be actively looking once nudity is involved. Especially when so many first dates are duds anyway.

Anyone who's on PoF and who wants Ike's user name, she's happy for you to get in touch, give me a shout and I'll pass it on.

Stranger I'd pretty much assume they'd realise by the nature of the relationship - you know, no meeting other friends, nothing too 'couple-y', that kind of thing. Disclaimer : I'm hardly the Relationship Queen.

I was actually a bit confused by buffy introducing me to her friends. Personally I'd prefer a relationship, but she made it clear on our first or second date (I think 2nd) that she was leaving in a few months and didn't do long distance. It was only ever going to be a fling but she invited me out with her friends the following week.

It was a friend of one of those friends who was the bride of Dracula the other night.

I'd always assumed a fling was short term, probably not introducing friends/family because of the confusion when things end, which its always assumed they will.

We had kind of talked about it only ever being for a couple of months, but her leaving the country have her a good excuse, rather than her being bored of me ..

It was awkward or you were, or he was. Geeks can be good.

If hes making you miss the ex, then tbh you're probably not ready. You need to get used to being yourself so anyone you meet is a potential improvement to being on your own, rather than comparing them to some bloke from the past.

But I'd say if GeekBoy is different and has something going for him, give him a second chance.

Its a weird one with friends! I think some people are very open with their friendship groups in terms of asking to be added on Facebook even before we've met (online dating)!

Maybe some people are just cool and thick skinned and "in the moment" or something?