I'm going to break up with my boyfriend. Tell me I'm doing the right thing?

[OhTiger]

I'm doing it tonight. It's going to be horrible. He will cry minimum. He's not had a great relationship history, and I don't think he has a clue this is coming. I feel like a horrible bitch that has led him on.

Met in January and it has all gone too fast. He's pretty much moved in. He's not been home to his house in weeks. To start with I liked it as I'd had a lonely time, and I like his company, but now I feel suffocated.

When we met he seemed to have loads of friends and was always doing stuff. Now he just wants to stay in with TV and cuddle.

Cuddles are very nice, but we barely have sex ever. In the first couple of weeks he was v passionate, then nothing or ferry sex - roll on roll off. I've not had an orgasm in 3 months.

He is usually very nice to my children and wants to be a positive influence, but he shouted at both of them (separate incidents) yesterday. I have encouraged the fact he is an adult in the house, and deserves respect, but I'm perfectly capable of discipline, do it my way and don't need back up.

He's bought quite a few bits for the house and garden. I'm not sure how this is going to work, do I reimburse him? I have been feeding him and doing his washing and he's been using my electric for months I know I know don't say it

It's my bithday this weekend and I know he has bought me something so I need to get it over with tonight so it does not get worse.

I'm right, right?

I would dump him by text, then pack his things and plonk them on the doorstep. He lost any right to a dignified break up when he yelled at your dc imo.

The kindest and most respectful thing you could do, for each of you, is to end the relationship without agreeing to trying to make it work or by taking a break.

Good luck, OP. Be firm and very clear - no room for misinterpretation!

Remember... He yelled at your kids!

Hope you're ok. You're doing the right thing, you know. Please don't let him talk you round.

Stay strong!

How's it going, OhTiger?
Your last post sounded like you might have been changing your mind...

I have been talked round.

Well that's not really the case. We've talked. I'm hopeless at expressing myself (I'm going to do the freedom programme this summer, not because him, because previous). He had been trying to work out wtf had been wrong with me and spoke to a friend and now feels terrible.

This family life stuff is all new to him. He's never had kids, adores mine, knows that shooting was the wrong

If this is what feels right, then good luck to you all. Have you agreed on any changes?

Do you really want to be with him or did you just feel like it would be cruel to end it as he was being so nice.

Just call him up and say "actually you know what - I know you talked me round earlier but this isn't working for me. It shouldn't be so hard this early in the relationship. take care of yourself - goodbye"

Sorry. Phone.

Shouting was the wrong thing. The first time was panic as child had opened a door in a moving car, second time he was trying to back me up, badly. We are going to set ground rules. I'm going to haunt the step parenting boards to see what it's appropriate, as I've no idea.

As for sex. I've told him I can't cope. He knows. He feels like he's letting me down. We're having naked bedtimes at last twice a week and on the weekends. He's also going on a diet.

This is the first blip in 6 mths. He's a lovely man and deserves a chance.

Oh, and money. He's paying more. Agreed.

You copped out didn't you?

No. I do want to be with a nice, kind man that wants top do the right thing, but doesn't know how, and wants us to work together to be a great couple/family. But I'm not doing two thousand chances. And I need to bemore upfront when I'm not happy and not let our build up

Sorry your relationship sounds awful, especially the sex. Why bother?

It sounds as though you've both cleared the air and things are looking up.

So your ending of a relationship because you were feeling suffocated has ended up with you doing more work to find out about how he can step parent. He is going to pay more so he is going to be there just as much. He has spent 3 out of 6 months giving you crap sex and you are going for more.

How did he talk you round?

Ok but no irrevocable decisions ie a baby. X

In other words--you have been talked round.

Good luck but no doubt you will be back posting about him in a couple of months

Yeah you did. You copped out.

Op - you sound like a lovely kind and romantic person. But you are flogging a dead horse.

If this was your husband of 10 plus years and father of your children I would understand why you'd want to "work together". And why you might need to inject a bit of magic back into the relationship.

But he is your bf of only six months.

You should be at it like rabbits not putting together a DIY sex therapy programme.

Just don't let him get his feet further under the table until you are more sure of him

I think it's unfair to write off the OP's relationship. Sometimes resentments build up. Yes, he has been at fault but so has the OP and they're both willing to try to improve things.

Good luck to you. I think clearing the air is important and its easy to let things build up. He can't know you are unhappy or why unless you tell him :-) ... I hope things improve now you have had that chat

Kind of Pictish. But not forever copped. I have a time limit on it being really good.

It's been 6 months!!!
Why on earth would anyone put effort into salvaging a relationship of six months old where the sex is shit already and they are feeling smothered and bored? 6 months in!!

pictish I agree wholeheartedly.

It should be hearts and flowers, shagging all over the place and staying up half the night talking.

Not arguments about money, discipline of children, lack of sex. Those are the topics for a ten/twenty year old marriage!