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Original poster

Was it going too far?

195 replies

Copyright · 12/05/2006 12:48

Last saturday me and my partner took the kids (two boys aged 5 and 7) out to a museum.

Half way around DP announces that he needs the toilet, I told him it was on the way out so he tries rushing us around the museum and then says "I really need to go now, where is it?" so I told him and he runs off to use it.

Me and the boys continue walking around the museum and arrive at the toilets around 5 minutes later, DP is still in there. We have another walk around the Egyptian gallery and then make our way back to the toilets about 10 minutes later...DP is STILL in there. We wait around the toilets for another 10 minutes, the kids are getting bored and starting to play up...DP is still in there...

After a while the boys start knocking on the door telling him to hurry up, he ignores them...my youngest then tries the handle to make sure he is actually in there and DP tells him to get away....10 minutes later the boys start saying things to him through the door such as "hope you're not making it stink" and "other people need to use the toilet you know..." and then they make a little song that went "Daves on the toilet for hours and hours, he makes it smell, he makes it pong..." etc!

I let them carry on because:

a) I was annoyed with DP for spending so long on the toilet everytime he goes.
b) I was annoyed with DP for eating so much crap meaning he would be stuck on the toilet for ages
c) I was annoyed because the boys were playing up (before they started tormenting DP!) and I always seem to be stuck looking daft
d) I was bored! we'd been stood there waiting for over half an hour and couldnt go anywhere else without him.
e) I felt he'd spoilt the museum trip.

When DP came out he was furious and said that the boys had embarrassed him acting up like that in a public place...was I in the wrong?

OP posts:
rickman · 12/05/2006 12:51

God no. If he needs 30 mins to go to the loo he should sort himself out. Did he take a book in there? Tell him to go before he leaves home in future.

JackieNo · 12/05/2006 12:52

If it was that urgent that he needed to rush off and go, it shouldn't have taken 30 minutes, IMO (and IMEBlush).

wessexgirl · 12/05/2006 12:53

Blimey, has he seen his GP about this? (I bet he hasn't...) Might be worth a gentle shove in the direction of the surgery, however embarrassing he might find the conversation.

Original poster
Copyright · 12/05/2006 12:55

Personally I reckon he was sitting in there waiting for the smell to go before he opened the door, he knew we were stood outside waiting though Angry.

He also does this at home when he knows we're waiting to go out, he'll "go to toilet" and sit in there up half an hour or so Angry

OP posts:
rickman · 12/05/2006 12:56

I don't think I have ever sat on the loo for that long. Why the hell does it take so long? Do people sit on the loo and then 30 mins later have a poo? Or was he trying to go for all that time?

fairyfly · 12/05/2006 12:58

Why didn't he just answer them? It would have only taken a boys, go back to your mother i'll be out soon.

Don't think i would be furious, but i would be annoyed if i had a bad stomach and i couldn't just go to the toilet on my own.

zippitippitoes · 12/05/2006 12:58

if he has a problem he should see his gp, no doubt about that

coppertop · 12/05/2006 12:59

If he's worried about the smell then perhaps he should carry a box of matches around with him. Wink

Seriously though, it does sound as though he expects everything to revolve around him, eg you can't go out until I've spent 30 minutes in the toilet or you have to rush round the museum so I can spend 30 minutes in the toilet. Is he generally like this all the time?

MerlinsBeard · 12/05/2006 13:00

my dp is similar to this. he feels he has to go but when he gets there can sometimes tale a little while. He is also one of those who will go the second b4 we go out the door. He has IBS, would get ur DH to the dr

batters · 12/05/2006 13:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Copyright · 12/05/2006 13:07

I remember ages ago he did it when he knew I wanted to go to bed as I had to be up early the next morning, As soon as I told him he held his stomach and went "oo..., ooo.." and rushed off to the toilet and spent 15 minutes in there, when he came back I said "I need to go to bed now so need the bathroom" so he said "no I wouldnt go in there yet"...before rushing back in Angry I used to think it was down to the food he ate, then I thought he might have been masturbating Blush but now I really dont know!

OP posts:
monkeytrousers · 12/05/2006 13:17

Are you sure he's not doing something else in there?

rickman · 12/05/2006 13:20

That was my first thought actually, I was sure you were going to say he was masturbating in there.

fairyfly · 12/05/2006 13:23

Do you discuss things like this, what kind of relationship do you have. Perhaps he's just got piles.

coppertop · 12/05/2006 13:23

It sounds as though he has a habit of using his @rse as a means of getting his own way (not a sentence I expect I'll ever need to type again!). Was he not particularly keen on going to the museum in the first place, by any chance?

Dior · 12/05/2006 13:29

I have to say that, if dh did this, I wouldn't have waited for him. I would have continued looking round the museum. I agree with the poster who said that, if he had to rush to the loo, he shouldn't have needed 30 minutes in there!

He could be playing power games with you. He could get a 'dodgy' tommy a lot. He could be masturbating.

How long have you been together, and is this loo thing recent?

beety · 12/05/2006 13:34

I would notlet my boys behave like that in a public place. I would have been furious if I had been him.

I am sure he was not sitting in the loo for fun!

I may have phoned him or sent one of the boys in to say we will be in the cafe orsomething similar

NotQuiteCockney · 12/05/2006 13:38

I have a dodgy gut, although it's better these days. It's entirely possible your DP has IBS or similar, and mockery isn't going to help. If you both carry mobiles, you could have kept in touch via SMS, rather than having the kids mock him.

It seems unlikely to me that this is a power play. Yes, it might be related to his diet, but that's not a reason to be angry with him for having problems.

cataloguequeen · 12/05/2006 13:40

I understand how you feel my dh takes ages in the toilet but he's always been like that and I except this is how he is.. I suggested the doctor and he went but they found nothing so I changed his diet (more fruit & veg,wholemeal bread) and his stomach improved.. I do think visiting the doctor is a good suggestion

He may have constipation when I was I child I suffered terribly and people banging on the door just made me more embarrassed and tense.

I do think it was out of order and pretty insentitive for you to allow the children to pester and embarrass him how would you feel?? ... I know you were upset I get p*ssed off with my dh for making me wait like a prat he sees my face Angry when he comes out but I would never distress him while he's in there!

fairyfly · 12/05/2006 13:41

It's true, if my boyfriend couldn't look after my kids and give me the simple basic right of a bowel movement i wouldn't be happy. I would accuse him of not being able to do anything without me and cant i at least have a shit in peace.

But also i would come out and explain what was wrong, i find it bizzare you haven't discussed if he is constipated or ill.

Also like beety my kids would be told off messing about in the toilets. Especially when there was so much else to see and do.

But also i don't understand why he didn't answer them.

Whats wrong with him saying don't go in the bathroom just yet it smells. Doesn't everyone do that?

Masturbating??????????????? Wouldn't even cross my mind.

redrabbit · 12/05/2006 13:45

My partner used to do this, I got so wound up once I let my daughter hit him in the stomach and told him she only does that to try and make peoples bellys better! lmao...he didnt do it much after that.

tarazuka · 12/05/2006 13:48

Personally I would film him going in and then do a load of commentry on it from outside the door and then film him as he comes out just to point out how annoying it is. You might shame him into hurrying up in future :)

Dior · 12/05/2006 13:50

I don't think that shaming him would help!

rickman · 12/05/2006 13:52

Does it really take 30 mins to have a poo though? I'm not taking the piss, I just can't imagine it would take that long.

nellie245 · 12/05/2006 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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