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Original poster

Was it going too far?

195 replies

Last saturday me and my partner took the kids (two boys aged 5 and 7) out to a museum.

Half way around DP announces that he needs the toilet, I told him it was on the way out so he tries rushing us around the museum and then says "I really need to go now, where is it?" so I told him and he runs off to use it.

Me and the boys continue walking around the museum and arrive at the toilets around 5 minutes later, DP is still in there. We have another walk around the Egyptian gallery and then make our way back to the toilets about 10 minutes later...DP is STILL in there. We wait around the toilets for another 10 minutes, the kids are getting bored and starting to play up...DP is still in there...

After a while the boys start knocking on the door telling him to hurry up, he ignores them...my youngest then tries the handle to make sure he is actually in there and DP tells him to get away....10 minutes later the boys start saying things to him through the door such as "hope you're not making it stink" and "other people need to use the toilet you know..." and then they make a little song that went "Daves on the toilet for hours and hours, he makes it smell, he makes it pong..." etc!

I let them carry on because:

a) I was annoyed with DP for spending so long on the toilet everytime he goes.
b) I was annoyed with DP for eating so much crap meaning he would be stuck on the toilet for ages
c) I was annoyed because the boys were playing up (before they started tormenting DP!) and I always seem to be stuck looking daft
d) I was bored! we'd been stood there waiting for over half an hour and couldnt go anywhere else without him.
e) I felt he'd spoilt the museum trip.

When DP came out he was furious and said that the boys had embarrassed him acting up like that in a public place...was I in the wrong?

OP posts:

zippitippitoes · 12/05/2006 14:38

my dad used to keep all the newspapers which he got delivered everyday in a pile in date order and when he went for his poo he used to take the bottom one with him..he was about twelve months behind

shellybelly · 12/05/2006 14:39

so let it out does he not fart in front of you

freshstart · 12/05/2006 14:40

oh yes, long, loud and often!

freshstart · 12/05/2006 14:40

I am incapable of letting it out. I blame my mother, never, ever, ever heard her fart. She always claimed that she jut didnt

Greensleeves · 12/05/2006 14:41

My dh is not allowed to fart in front of me. If he needs to fart he has to leave the room and go as far away as possible. And he has to tell me where he did it so I can avoid it for a while, and stay there until it disperses so it doesn't follow him back into the room I'm in.

shellybelly · 12/05/2006 14:42

I remember after having dd I had terrible wind and I used to fart quite frequently in my sleep (woke myself up a few times too )

i bet he'd just laugh if you did it, me and dh laugh about it, no point being embarrassed its a normal bodily function

catsmother · 12/05/2006 15:59

It is possible he's swinging the lead as it were - I had an ex who was always sneaking off to the loo with an apparent "upset stomach". However, I soon noticed a pattern .... that this always happened when we were with my family or friends, never his. He did eventually admit that it was his very immature way of "getting out of" a social situation he didn't want to be in and an excuse for going home early. Plus, of course, the childish B ruined the evening out for me too.

On the other hand - like some of the others I too have suffered from IBS for more than 20 years. People close to me know about it but understandably I don't like discussing it with all and sundry. Your DP may just feel very very embarrassed about it and TBH, if my skids banged on the door while I was sat on the loo in agony shouting and being rude, I'd have been furious. IBS effects everyone differently but for me, I typically do have to "rush" to the loo because it feels like it's about to "happen" but I can then sit there for up to an hour experiencing contraction-like pains until something does. It's impossible not to be in a loo while this is going on. I then get diarrhea (sp?) followed by yet more contractions, a bit more diarrhea, more contractions and so on until everything's out. I've sat there, in pain and discomfort (from sitting on a hard loo seat) for up to 2 hours before.

You really do need to find out if he has a genuine medical problem or not. And then take it from there.

Rocklover · 12/05/2006 19:25

Catsmother, that is exactly what I get, with the pains that can be as severe as contractions!!! I have just been told this week my IBS could have been started by an un-diagnosed back injury I suffered as a child. Weird eh?

prettyfly1 · 12/05/2006 20:14

um please dont flame me but i think thats pretty cruel actually. how would you have felt if you suddenly felt rough when you were out and your dh let your kids embarrass you like that in public so yes i do think its a little bit too far and really quite disrespectful. sorry i know that that not what you want to hear but it is a bit mean to let your children do something to your partner when i doubt very much if you would have felt or reacted much differently to him under the same circumstances.

mummypumpkin · 13/05/2006 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dejags · 13/05/2006 14:10

DH says men sit on the bog for ages to escape women and children.

fwiw, if I had let my kids do this, he would have divorced me.

Dior · 13/05/2006 19:33

Catsmother - pmsl @ 'if my skids banged on the door' - was that pun intended?!

drosophila · 13/05/2006 19:47

DP is exact same. Every morning he sits on loo for aaaaggeeessss. Does my head in. He also hates it if I want to use the loo after him cos there is a smell. WTF you did a poo there is a smell get over it. I grew up on a farm so have smelt much worse. Anyway he also used to get dodgy tummy a lot and would spend even longer on the loo. After much nagging he went to GP had camera up his jacksy and they found nothing and he was dx with IBS. He used to really constipated as a child and now has got himself into this routine that he must never deviate from.

Why are people so anal (excuse pun) about poo and toilet stuff. It's a bodily function and it smells but you have to do it and having a laugh about it is OK. Kids just love toilet humour. Tell your DP to stop being so anal

Calista · 13/05/2006 20:34

Some of the replies on this thread are really making me grin!

PMSL @ ff's 'toilet diary' entry & catsmothers 'skids banging on the door' :o:o:o

albosmum · 13/05/2006 21:06

I am so glad that some one else DP/DH does this - mine does to - I think your and my DP need to go to the doctor.

IMHO - dh does it to get out of things e.g. after dinner to avoid dishes, in morning to avoid looking after ds's, always for about 1/2 an hour and always reading which really p*** me off.

catsmother · 13/05/2006 22:14

Oops ..... no I didn't mean that pun, though I realised the "getting to the bottom of it" one !

SSSandy · 14/05/2006 10:29

But isn't it the small things that they do again and again that have you climbing up the walls and back down again?

What drives me nuts is that I get up at the crack of dawn at weekends since that's when dd sees fit to wake up. Have her dressed, fed, read to, played with etc. Sometime around noon when I've nearly finished making lunch, dp will stagger out of the bedroom, yawning and SCRATCHING his legs (?!) inside his pyjama pants. It drives me wild. I just can't watch him. Sometimes I'm dangerously close to taking a hatchet to him or just SCREAMING, get dressed before you come in the kitchen when I've been up for 6 hours and DON'T scratch yourself in front of me!

I think Copyright feels the same with the extended toilet trips. Little things can really really get to you. I try and just look away or say very sweetly: please get dressed now, lunch is nearly ready. And then I hack at some veges or something with a little axe...

shellybelly · 14/05/2006 10:41

and I bet none of us ever do anything to annoy our dh/dp

Original poster

Well so far I have 3 entries for friday night (for the toilet diary), he went in at 10:30 and spent 10 minutes in there, he then went again and 11:30 and spent 15 minutes in there (this was whilst we were supposed to be watching a DVD and then he got up in the middle of the night and spent 20 minutes on the loo.

Strangely he didnt go at all yesterday...anyway Ill keep you updated, best sign off now before I wake him up.

OP posts:

shellybelly · 14/05/2006 10:45

good grief you are actually keeping tags on his bathroom activities, sorry but I would have better things to do than check on dh toilet trips. Completely barking mad, sorry but had to be said

zippitippitoes · 14/05/2006 10:47

I would be really angry if i though my dp was recording my toilet trips...if iwe discussed it then I would like bit of sympathy or encouragement to see the gp if necessary

shellybelly · 14/05/2006 10:49

I'm starting to wonder whether this is a piss take tbh

WelshBoris · 14/05/2006 10:52

If it is a windup it is a very good one

Original poster

It's not a pisstake, I have approached the subject with him and told him he maybe has IBS as it is not normal to constantly have to rush to the toilet and spend ages in there and I also told him it isnt fair on everyone else for him to have the monopoly on the bathroom...funny how since I told him this he hasnt needed to go.

I think he's doing it for attention.

OP posts:

beety · 14/05/2006 10:53

oh god it is a piss take...well done..very funny

ALTHOUGH they do seem to be happening a little bit t ooften these days

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