Is this normal/should I be concerned - DW polishing the pearl regularly, but sex is once a month at most?

[Matt77]

We're both in our mid-thirties, married ten years, one DD (aged 3). My wife is masterbating on average once a week, but we're having sex once a month on average (13 times this year!) ... my advances (once or twice a week) are pushed away. I need advice ... should I just accept this as normal / should I be doing something to differently?

I have laughed so much reading this thread. A subject woman for centuries have not talked about, and many are still reluctant to.
Loved the Baileys, chocolates and cakes banter, and Vintage on page 1 comments and TwoFacedCows on page 2 as wittily honest and direct , and others too.
Advice is difficult to give, as it is clear she satisfies herself better than having sex with him. And has no desire to have sex with him more often. He knows about the "pearl" at least, but she still prefers to do it herself.
OP I Read about a girl who did that during intercourse and her first partner was OK with it, but her next partner was not and she had to stop, but never had an orgasm again.

Danddelion that was brilliant!

Brilliant Daddelion

Glad to see you!

a quick read through suggests that most respondents havent twigged that the op is a wind up...or is there some double bluff thats just too sophisticated for me to get

If she's polishing the pearl too much she's just being shellfish.

Does she clam up when you ask her about it?

Bitch, you just made me spit my vodka all over myself

Ummm. Maybe have a chat with her? I wouldn't get drastically upset,women enjoy themselves as much as men do. But do talk to her. It could be as simple as she can finish in 30 seconds flat on her own and that's all she wants at the moment. But if you're feeling rejected or insecure then you really do need to speak up about it. Maybe a mutual viewing session could be suggested so she doesn't immediately get defensive?

The responses here would be so different if you were a woman writing her husband was wanking but not having sex with her. Is so annoying to see.

I'm SO CONFUSED!

Are you sure she's wanking? It's not the cat having a vigorous wash at the end of the bed?

Alis, let me help you out here

Why would a bloke's first post on a female-dominated parenting website be about his wife wanking?

When you answer that question...everything else falls into place

And his second post on a female-dominated parenting website asks another poster if they want a PM to help in "covering their tracks"

I'm just sayin'...

AF there I was being all helpful

Funny to think that blokes get upset at the idea of women polishing their pearl I've yet to meet one who doesn't like the idea!

If she's polishing the pearl too much she's just being shellfish.

Does she clam up when you ask her about it?

Daddi - brilliant

AF - agree totally and yes, it does rather put a different spin on clutching ones pearl(s)

Have anyone of you read Warming her Pearls by Carol Ann Duffy?

Is it worth reserving down at my local library ?

I am wondering how many times I will prove myself to be a thicko on a thread AF is commenting on! Every. Single. One.

Thank fuck for the sensible fuckers.

I have a headache from all the credulous 'what about the menz' posts.

Ms Duffy is worth a look generally speaking AF.

Most uncomfortable to study age 17/18 "do you find this erotic girls" was often said by my eng lot teacher ( woman not a lechy bloke)

ah yes. those poor menz.

its a quiet day if dh doesnt join a female-centric forum purely to ask about female masturbation and sex lives.

I don't mean it really, Alis.

There is nothing inherently wrong with taking new male posters talking about their wives wanking at face value. It does make one look a tad silly, however. I like silly people though, especially the ones that know it.

The ones that persist in not acknowledging how silly they are, and jump on any ole bandwagon in an effort to big up the menz, don't do themselves any favours though