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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I am obsessed with the loss of a close friendship.

103 replies

Oblomov · 06/11/2012 07:57

I posted on another thread, last week or so.
mypost
My post is the long one, about 5 from the top.

I just wanted to add, something to that other post.
Reading it back, it sounds very full on. But it wasn't really like that. Our friendship peaked and troughed, like anyother. Sometimes we saw alot of eachother, sometimes we didn't see eachother for ages. Pretty normal, I assume. I work 3 days a week. She was the class rep and knew lots of people, was very chatty. Which I encouraged her to take the class rep position. And was never jealous of that aspect. Our freindship sounds very full on, but actually over the course of 4 years, it wasn't that full on. I work, she didn't. Some weeks, I didn't see her at all. I chatted to other people in the playground, on the days when I did actually do pick up (not working). and then we would see eachother, realise we hadn't spoken for 1/2/3 weeks and come round to each others houses for a coffee and a catch up.

I was talking to my best freind about this last night.
The atmosphere in the playground is so icy. barely civil. I sit at work, 15 minutes before having to go to pick up, dreading going. Come on, thats not good. And about once every week or 2 weeks, I still have a little sob about it all. When you write that down, it sounds so pathetic.

I am so angry with myself. Why can't I get over this? I want to hit myself with a large slap and shout 'stop being such a wimp, you idiot'. But I still get upset by what has happened. Miss her. Worry about what I am going to do about about ds1's birthday party. I should invite her ds. He is still my ds's best friend. But she was also very very rude and offensive about my dh, that my dh has no time for her.

Why am I letting her get to me? What is wrong with me? Why can't i get over this?

Please could you give me a hard slap. Wink
Or atleast give some sensible advice, with practical steps as to how to stop this hurting so much, how to be tougher on myself.

OP posts:
bigchris · 27/05/2019 18:02

@oblomov think shes still around

Thatsalovelycuppatea · 27/05/2019 18:28

If I could change one thing, it would be keeping myself to myself on the school run.
Intense friendships ended up like this. It's not healthy at all. Perhaps, it's best to join an exercise class or start a new hobby where you will develop nice healthy friendships over time.

wonderwhat · 27/05/2019 20:15

I agree with this. If I could change one thing I’d keep myself a bit aloof on the school runs

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