Bizarroville!! PoshBoys, Muppets, Surgeons, nurses, coffee addicts and RL - dating thread 27!

[lubeybooby]

Roll up roll up get yer dating chat here... all kinds of dating...

Online, RL, established, new, join in and blether away!

Ok, so having just told sponge to relax and be patient, I'm now feeling all impatient myself. So far the Engineer & I are still communicating through POF. I know he works shifts and he said he was starting work at 2 today so I imagine he will be home late. He suggested coffee, I messaged him back to say coffee would be good. But now I'm thinking I should have suggested some times that I'm free - should I write to him again given that he may not check back til after I've gone to bed or should i just leave it til tomorrow? (God, now i feel like a 12 year old! How stupid do I sound?)

I know I'm probably being ridiculous. But I don't have anything to compare this to, and all my awful experiences lead me to prepare for the worst.

I've left the ball in his court. I hope he comes back with an alternative, I really do.

This is normal sponge don't worry honestly. For example arranging dates with BC varied between on the day of another date up to say... a week or so after. Maybe even a bit more!

Now is the time to be busy and do other things in your life so you don't over think it or spend all your time waiting by the phone. Relax and enjoy the glow from yesterday!

Oh, I can empathise with you both so much! Sponge, relax, it'll all sort out. Yoga, leave it for now until he replies.

It's so easy to dish out advice to other people and so very hard to apply it to yourself! I am really trying very hard not to get worked up about texting and stuff, and I'm feeling a lot more relaxed now I'm relying on my gut instinct about things rather than what it means if he's not texted since last night.

SlightlyConfused and indeed everyone else, beware of men who insist on PDAs. I've read a couple of horror stories on here as far as they're concerned. Honestly, just walk away.

Watch, how rubbish it is you have to move.

Sponge, don't be sad, you're amazing and he's an arse.

sponge I'm sure it will be ok.

watch shit and buggeration, but again - I'm sure it will be ok, because it has to be. You are resourceful and strong and will make this work.

Grievance meeting was ok. Don't like talking about myself or personal things, so tried to keep it very work related and referred the woman who made the duff decision to business case which outlines mental health issues, children being upheaved, the fact that as a single parent from a working class background, who didn't go to university, who is on one of the best 'graduate schemes' in the uk, who got on it with no coaching or mentoring and who is ripe for promotion, it makes absolutely no sense financially or (snort!) morally to send me and my children 500 miles away to a job that doesn't exist at a greater cost than keeping me where I am now, where there are a variety of suitable posts. I suspect she will say no, because she will want to stand by her erroneous original decision that quotes a non-existant HR policy (...) and then I will need to appeal.

I walked into work this morning with the unassailable feeling that I am right and I am at war and I will triumph. Because, all things notebook aside, that is what I do. and that is it's own triumph in it's way

Think I will re-hide OKC profile. Disenchanted with dating and too much going on to venture off of sofa (DS1 not in school today as he was attacked on way home last night and I need to reserve my energies for work-war, DCs, trying to pay rent and buy food, not contact voldemort and start new improved notebook of awesome --& then have seismic career change into author/illustrator.

Sorry about DS, Snape but honestly could have cheered from the rooftops when I read that you had a new notebook. You know what you have to do. I think getting rid of the parasite Voldie has freed up a lot of energy. So you actually acted in your own best interests. Yay for you!

Yeah, it always works out for the best. :-). The lovely scots saying, 'what's for you won't go by you' resonates. :-)

god snape is ds1 ok!! how old is he? that's scary .

Sponge, it sounds as if it's put a dampener on things for you - and I can really understand that, even though there's hopefully nothing to worry about. Did you talk to him, or was it through text or e-mail?

Snape, things sound so tough for you. Surely you've got to get a break sooner rather than later. Hope DS1 is ok.

Ooh poor DS. I do hope he is ok and that this hasn't shaken him up too much.

He's 14. They weren't school-boys, these were young men who squared up to him, took off their jackets for a fight and he then (because we don't really engage with idiots) ran away. I have offered to meet him from school, talk to school about people walking him home, suggested martial arts classes (because a nasty bit of me really, really wants him to kick their Neanderthal arses) but fuckers like that sense sensitivity and think they're men because they can scare a wee boy. Clearly there were two of them. I will roast their non existant souls. tiger-mum mode engaged

snape thats terrible, I'm so sorry for DS1. Hope he's ok as he can be.

libby it was by text...I hope I am being unduly negative and that I haven't subconsciously fucked it up in any way.

And I am as resilient as fuck, I will not be defeated and I continue to wave the hand-embroidered banner of successful, nurturing, competent single-parenthood, with amazing kids who will not be marginalised or written off just because their dad didnt stick around...Because we are all abso-fucking-lutely magnificent. We deal. Y venceremos.

my ds1 is 14 this month, he's taller than me with a deep voice but a very sensitive soul. he would run too. he's not a fighter and not street wise tbh. it's scary out there for boys like that. I thought he was going to mugged last week when he was meeting friends, couldnt find them and rung me to say there was a group of teenagers near him.. he panicked about them. he was fine and they did nothing but I couldn't get to him quick enough !
I hope he's ok and is happy to go back to school ASAP. did you report to police or no point?

Snape same thing happened to my DS at about the same age. He was robbed at knife point by a gang of 3 in their 20s. No physical damage but it did take away his sense of security on the streets as a young man which was horrible. I swear at the time I thought I was angry enough to -drive the car at them-- kick them myself. Entirely justified in Tiger Mum mode, nothing is as scary as a (single) mother protecting her DC. Poor DS, I hope he's not too old for a cuddle.

No point. Don't think he would be able to ID them.

But if I find out who they are....

...when my windows got put in (twice) when I lived in Scotland (apparently for being English...) I ended up chasing a man down the street with a baseball bat when a stone was thrown at my window (missed. Idiot) and it stopped. Will obviously not do anything daft, but my revenge fantasies are a comfort. And I continue to live my wonderful life, with my DCs and all you lot and feel pity for 'men' who define themselves as men for picking on a 14 year old boy.

fairdate no, not too old for a cuddle, never.

Poor DS, Snape. I've no doubt that, with a Mum like you, he'll be ok and this won't have knocked his confidence.

Sponge, I agree with the others, give him a chance.

Bantam, well done, now spill - what did she say?

For the first time in 6 months I've left work on time, sitting in front of my house, not wanting to face the dreaded feeling of being alone in my flat. I've been wondering if I should reply, starting this text about ten times in my head, as the proverbial bucket of ice water combined with déjà vu becomes reality yet again. I would lie if I said that my heart isn't bruised, and even more so if I said that the butterflies did not turn into grey old moths, leaving me yet again stranded in the dark (not so foreign to me anymore). Knew you could say something along those lines but actually had hope and handsome all in one. 😔 What I'm trying to say is that I'm not cross, how could I if logistics are against us, but I am hurt, turns out that I have a heart after-all. I hope and trust that you'll find 'the one' and that she'll appreciate and love you whole-heatedly! You are special. As for me, I'm not so sure that I should ever feel flattered about the hope of unconditional love of strangers. All the best! Safrican xx

Holy shit bantam.

Bullet dodged - it was TWO dates! Christ.

Fucking hell !! She sounds completely bonkers.

poor old safrican. I actually feel a bit sorry for her.

I am also now worrying I have come across as too needy to LC...

bant. Confirmation it would never ever work. You are not responsible for her feelings & between you and me and thread, I think that tells you, good call

Do not feel even remotely guilty, it would never have worked, it is kind to address this now, rather than put it off and cringe everytime you see her and be disingenuous.

For what it is worth, I think you have acted admirably. She will be fine, once her expectations have been managed and her wounds have been licked.

Seconding all of what snape said.