Bizarroville!! PoshBoys, Muppets, Surgeons, nurses, coffee addicts and RL - dating thread 27!

[lubeybooby]

Roll up roll up get yer dating chat here... all kinds of dating...

Online, RL, established, new, join in and blether away!

Sponge, btw, even though I have been seeing MrKippling consistently, and would say we are in a relationship, we met yesterday and haven't talked when we'll meet again.
Probably Saturday, overnight.

But you don't have to see each other every other day and always have a date set.

Personally, on my part, there's quite a few uncertainties and often can only be sure a day or two before. It works well for us. At least it has so far.

Relax.

Kirsty No. Don't ask. Just don't.

Hi secret, I'd be wary of this on a first date - you haven't even met him yet! Its ok to think (to yourself) that you might or you might not and go prepared just in case, but I wouldn't be having the conversation yet. If you're that far from home, I'd be declining at this stage.

Service - I'll bow to the wisdom of others here, but I'd just point out that generally, with a bloke, 'Coffee' is always on the menu. You just have to decide whether you want it or not. There is a strong possibility that if you do, that'll be the last you see of him.

And yes, some people will say that they DTD on the first date and are still married etc, and of course others will say 'go for it if that's what you want' - and I agree with them.

But just be aware that emailing and texting and calling does not make chemistry a probability, you don't get much chance to spot red flags until you've met at least once, and could the Coffee wait another few days until you know you want some?

Kirsty - have you never heard of the popcorn thing?

Also get the impression that POF is notorious. It was certainly my experience.

Kirsty just use your imagination as to what might go into the hole when some poor, unsuspecting popcorn eater puts her hand in to grab some.

Service maybe my priorities are a bit backwards but to be honest, I'd be more wary of staying the night than DTD the first time. If you really like him and the chemistry is there and you just want to get naked then go for it but I wouldn't spend the night in a total strangers house....especially that far from home, purely for safety's sake.

Kirsty popcorn tub will presumably be on his lap. Nuf said. I'm off to scrub my brain now & try and rid it of that image...thanks Bant.

I knew you were all wise!

I didn't take him up on the not so subtle hints, so there wasn't really a conversation as such. And I understand what you're saying about chemistry, Bantam, and I suppose I must have been getting carried away with the excitement of it all to forget most men's coffee appetite :)

Ha, cold common sense can be such a disappointment some times!

Haha I've never heard of that but then I'm more a nachos girl myself :-)

Surgeon wants to call me at lunchtime now .. It's all getting a bit tiresome .. i rarely speak to people i know and like on the phone! ..and I have a coffee planned with a very attractive looking guy who is 10 years older than me next Friday

Yoga, thank you. Aargh, didn't realise how enforced celibacy has fugged my brain! Who in their right mind would consider staying overnight in a complete strangers house!

I won't rule out getting nekkid, if only cos i dont think but only if I'm sure I have time for the last train!

Yeah, Kirsty, I would imagine doesn't happen so much with Nachos due to the hot cheese Surgeon - meh!

Oops. If only cos I don't think my brain's capable at the moment of dismissing coffee after such a long drought!

Service cold common sense can indeed be a bit of a buzz kill -sorry! Just do all the usual stuff to be safe - make sure someone knows where you are and what your plans are etc. No matter how great this guy seems, the truth is you don't really know him. First time I went to see Mr60 the build up had been massive - we'd been emailing/texting/phoning for weeks. As soon as we met we knew the chemistry was good and we did indeed get naked (although didn't quite DTD) BUT...I made it absolutley clear before hand that I wasn't staying overnight and that a friend knew exactly where I was. It was all good in the end - he was a genuine lovely man - but you just never know.

Am trying to remain calm :) even though I still havent had a text.

Our first date was last Weds, so a week ago now. The next day he arranged our next date which was on Monday. I text him yesterday to ask if he was free tonight, but he wasn't. So we have already seen each other twice in a week, and I have tried to arrange date 3 but he was busy.

My current thinking is that I'll wait and see what today brings - and if I don't hear from him, then tomorrow I'll send a (hopefully) cheery text asking if he's free at the weekend to do something (not sure what, will depend when he's free, what I can arrange with DC etc), and see what response I get. But if he says he's busy again then I will start to worry.

I suppose though - picking up on what you said Lubey that maybe after date 1 he was more unsure of whether I liked him or not (we were both a bit tipsy by the end of it) whereas Monday we drank less so he may feel more laid back about it....

sponge you could also send a text just to say hi, just remember that you've said before he may not reply til the evening

Secret unless it has kind of been understood between both of you from the beginning that this is what you are meeting for I think he has been a bit presumptive in his hints before you have even met. Agree if you do go for it do it somewhere you feel safe and leave the staying over for another time.

sponge, good thinking. i really wouldnt worry.

in exciting news, another thread in chat has told me my section 21 eviction note is illegal!!! hurrah. Wont say anything but can use if for bargining if i do find somewhere. and if i dont, it can go to court and will get thrown out, for being illegal, so the two months notice will have to start again.

phew :)

i dont have to worry, time is now on my side.

bloody love MN, so good in a crisis, such a bunch of fab women who just know so much. cant think where i would be without it :)

sponge , also... you tried to set up date 3, he was busy. dont go running around trying to organise the next date, leave it to him :) by all means text him, a hi, how are you, very casual thing, but dont mention a date or when is he free. Give him the chance to woo and chase you.
Its not a relationship yet, you dont have to do all the organising and take the lead. I know its hard as you just want to know whats happening, but you cant rush this stage, just sit back and try to enjoy it :)

watch -
"such a bunch of fab women who just know so much"

ahem

watch that's great news re your S21 notice. Can imagine that must take the pressure off...

No text. I won't hear from him til after 5 now if at all. I am sticking to my plan not to text him til tomorrow but I have a knot in my stomach and feel sick. Seeing a single magpie at lunch didn't help.

Faintheart, I think/hope it was more flirty than presumptive, but it's possible my boundaries may need adjusting on that side of things. I know I laugh off more sexual innuendo/perving than is possibly good for me.

But will hard firm, definitely no pun intended!, tomorrow, as I can't see where I will feel safe in central London, unless he's willing to fork out for a hotel! But, even if he is, my sensible self knows not on the first date :(

oh - i do the magpie thing too!! :)

dont panic. honestly. you saw him monday. its only wednesday im sure he will be in contact very soon.

and yes, massivley takes the pressure off. I dont just have to run into the first place even if its shit hole, i can look around and find something that is right for us :)
obviously still shit as id prefer not to leave, but its still a massive turn around to where things were at 10am this morning!

*Rude Word Alert. Please Do Not Read If You Have A Sensitive Disposition!"

Hi all, just popping in briefly to share my good news with you all.

I haven't been on here for a while 'cos I've decided I really cannot be arsed with RL dating/men (in general)/OD/putting 'dating' outfit on/going out in the dark/cold/rain/trimming 'lady garden'/performing 'deforestation' on legs/smiling when bored on a date/being 'charming' whilst yearning to go home etc - until after Christmas...however....I may be coaxed out of my temporary hibernation by a 'match' sent to me by POF. His username? (verbatim): 'Acuntbyanyothername'. I kid you not, lovely people. He must be a real charmer.

Anyway, Hi to everyone, will be back later to read through your copious posts! Toodle pip. x

pie - i hear you!!!!!! snap snap and snap. esp with the current housing issue.

but you can still post... :) i fully intend to.

and he sounds like a charmer, frankly i dont know why you arent desperate to meet him...