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Is this too creepy to tolerate? [WARNING: extreme subject matter]

447 replies

Halfway · 29/10/2012 08:39

I'm posting on behalf of my best friend (for real, she is sat beside me but is not familiar with Mumsnet).

She has recently begun dating a new guy (for a couple months), whom she has known for over ten years as a friend, albeit mostly long distance as he works and lives long periods abroad. He is also Chinese (only relevant because I am genuinely unsure as to whether there are any cultural differences that might make his confession less bizarre than it sounds to me).

He has confessed to her that his ultimate fantasy about intimacy involves eating someone (albeit only ever with their consent).

He says he has never actually eaten part of anyone, but fantasizes about finding someone who would consent to giving him small pieces of flesh (that would not overly harm the person), that he could cook and perhaps even share with them.

Now, she tells me all this in a very relaxed (almost flippant) way, and I can't help but sit here and inwardly think !!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

She tells me that in her opinion it is no worse than people who fantasize about whipping/strangling each other, and that although it is freaky, the important thing is that he has no wish to do anything without someone else's wholehearted participation.

So now I am uncertain as to whether I really am being a bit intolerant (and judgemental), or if there is something about this particular fantasy that is just too dangerous (and creepy) to tolerate.

Mumsnet jury opinions needed! Many thanks.

OP posts:
Halfway · 29/10/2012 09:31

Bowing out myself for a bit, as have to take over baby duties, and actually getting a little bit too upset/disturbed about her and this situation now (I love her dearly).

Will check back later, but I think I know where I stand now in any case. Thanks all for the feedback.

OP posts:
FryOneGhoulishGhostlyManic · 29/10/2012 09:32

I didn't cut, I ate, but it all boils down to the same thing. Anyone coming into my life who encouraged the previous behaviour would be history so fast they wouldn't feel the ground underneath them.

AKissIsNotAContract · 29/10/2012 09:33

'I've got to admit, while I feel disturbed about the idea myself (knee-jerk very disturbed), I'm not exactly sure why its intrinsically not ok, unless it really did escalate and/or became without her consent.'

Did you see my post about the spanner trial? even with consent ABH is illegal.

FryOneGhoulishGhostlyManic · 29/10/2012 09:36

How old is this chap? I can't believe it's got this far and he hasn't yet had a taste of anyone. If she's know him for over ten years as a friend already, that means a) he's 30s? and b) he's aware that she could be groomed for his fantasies.

OP your friend is very vulnerable right now. Please see the useful information on the relationship board to help her work on reducing her vulerabiity.

Megan74 · 29/10/2012 09:36

It's just weird.

How you can even question whether its cultural is beyond me.Hmm Correct me if I am wrong but fried human doesn't feature too highly on Chinese menus.

She needs to drop him like hot brick.

garlicbaguette · 29/10/2012 09:38

Gilberto Valle is considered a serious threat despite not having eaten anyone yet.

SparkleSoiree · 29/10/2012 09:38

I think there is some guy in the states this week up in court for 'fantasising' about kidnapping and eating women. He actually hasn't done anything but they are arguing he is conspiring to doing it by fantasising about it...

Its some crazy messed up world we live in and anyone that hints at wanting to eat my skin or flesh will be taking a swift journey off the end of my foot at high speed! He can take his salt and pepper with him too!

ShirleyRots · 29/10/2012 09:38

How lonely, low and lacking in self esteem does someone have to be to think this is OK?

I would be deeply concerned about your friend OP.

aufaniae · 29/10/2012 09:42

I would also be deeply concerned about it.

The canibal who did actually kill and eat a person a few years back did it with his victim's permission. Sad

Victim of cannibal agreed to be eaten

ScrambledSmegsEvilTwin · 29/10/2012 09:43

he says he only fantasizes about eating the whole person but recognises that as far too much to ever actually indulge, but would rather satisfy the fantasy a little bit by using tiny pieces

It's the fact that he actually wants to find a willing participant that concerns me. Most vorarephiles only use non-harmful means of satiating their desires, ie pictures, stories etc. The fact that he has discussed this with your friend indicates that he may be intending to venture into a more harmful territory, as in Armin Meiwes.

I doubt that he would be satisified with the skin around her fingernails, by the way. Vorarephilia is about flesh, not skin. She would find herself doing more and more painful and mutiliating things in order to fulfil his fantasies. Not a good idea. If she does it, it will probably escalate.

By the way, I'm not an expert or a cannibal and please don't take what I've said as gospel. I'm just someone who gets terrible bouts of insomnia and reads vast amounts of bizarre stuff, on the internet and in more reliable formats.

BitBOOwildered · 29/10/2012 09:44

conviction for cannabilism

run far away

LadyEvilBeagle · 29/10/2012 09:45

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Strawhatpirate · 29/10/2012 09:46

That is actualy terifying! What if this is just the start and his "fetish" gets even more sickening.

BitBOOwildered · 29/10/2012 09:46

recent conviction for cannabilism

Link fail. Still run!

ScrambledSmegsEvilTwin · 29/10/2012 09:46

Does he know about her history of cutting, by the way? Because if he does there's definitely a predatory element to their 'relationship'.

SecretCervix · 29/10/2012 09:47

Does she trust him with oral BTW?

^ That just made me clamp my legs SHUT.

He sounds completely loony.

Nancy66 · 29/10/2012 09:48

yawn

FryOneGhoulishGhostlyManic · 29/10/2012 09:49

ScrambledSmegsEvilTwin Op said friend has known this chap over ten years. If he didn't specifically know about the cutting, he'd know she was vulnerable.

FryOneGhoulishGhostlyManic · 29/10/2012 09:55

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susiedaisy · 29/10/2012 09:56

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SugariceAndScary · 29/10/2012 09:56

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Binkyridesagain · 29/10/2012 09:57

If half term has finished why are my DCS upstairs playing, and WTF where they doing last week when I thought they where st school?

ScrambledSmegsEvilTwin · 29/10/2012 10:01

I hope it isn't a wind-up, because I really tried to be helpful. Also, I think it's quite possible. Had a friend at uni who got involved with someone who was into vampirism Hmm. She tried to dabble a bit herself but ended up freaking out and running a mile. If she'd been more vulnerable I can see that she may not have.

sudaname · 29/10/2012 10:02

And if she agreed to 'just a little bit' even though he has admitted he 'would like to eat a whole person but accepts that would be going too far' Shock does she really think that 'just satisfying his craving a little bit' would be the end of it. It wouldnt, is my guess it would just be feeding (no pun intended) this peverse craving and make him want more.

FFS get her out of there and yes l agree contact the police or somehow put this information out there to protect any future girlfriends.

Halfway · 29/10/2012 10:03

In the nicest possible way, can people who are doubtful please keep their doubts to themselves and simply not post.

I am finding the comments hurtful and dismissive, and they are also derailing the thread from which I hoped to get some genuine/useful advice.

Halloween timing is extremely unfortunate, but has nothing to do with my post nor reason for posting. I'm also not sure what term time has to do with anything as I am certainly no school-attender, and my baby is far too young.

I realise the post may seem bizarre, but it is genuine, and I feel alienated enough from society most of the time without getting more of it here, especially when I am already concerned about my friend and trying desperately to help her in a way that really isn't overly judgemental.

Thanks to everyone who is actually trying to help. I've taken all your comments on board.

I might ask MN to just delete this now, as its just upsetting.

OP posts: