If you don't mind trawling through, I'd like to share my experiences.
I have a history of picking fuckwits, quite frankly. From the age of 18 to about 25 I was literally desperate. Every man I met I decided I fancied, and the more loserish ones would prey upon that. Usually men a lot older who were still single. I went for these emotional losers every time, including ones who treated me like your chap. One man I met online had blatantly lied about his age and used a VERY old picture, but when he realised I was desperate (and men DO spot desperation in a woman a mile off,) he initiated a relationship on the most ludicrous terms, knowing I would do anything to keep it going.
These included only coming round friday and saturday nights for food, wine and sex, never letting me meet his friends, never going to his house, never letting us go out - everything that should have been normal in a relationship, he vetoed. Now, I am a fairly intelligent woman - but the brain is very good at convincing you that this is fine, it's fine, it's fine.... and in rare moments of honesty it tries to deceive you that even if he's not right, you can keep him just for now until someone better comes along. This is not possible - it just teaches you to put up with shit, walk on eggshells, worry about idiotic things like what to text to avoid pissing him off and finally be dumped when he's had enough.
I have been single for about 3 years now and can honestly say I love it. Men have come into my life, but I am now a lot quicker at spotting the red flags. "Let's keep this secret, shall we?" - RED FLAG. "My nutty bitch ex keeps texting me" - RED FLAG. "I can't commit to a proper relationship but I'd love to come over now and again" .... you get the picture. ALL things I have heard men say in my desperate years and still would have thought "I just need to keep it going."
You are not happy with yourself and for want of a better word, you are damaged. You don't think enough of yourself to expect the very highest standards in a man. It was so telling when you mentioned the other bloke possibly interested in you. Why do you have to have male interest in your life?
I think posters have got frustrated because the thing you've said most frequently on this thread is, "I know you're right." But you don't act on any advice given. I know you won't follow this suggestion, but the strongest thing I can say to you is be single for a while, build up an interesting life for yourself.... any man you then choose to be with should fit in with YOU and enhance your life. No eggshells, no desperately clinging, no putting up with bullshit.
Hope you see sense and dump this idiot. Well done if you trawled through these ramblings.