Hi Dolly,
I have just read through this whole thread and wanted to reiterate so many of the things everyone has previously said, you are amazing and are handling things so incredibly well in such a hellish situation. I know you must be emotionally exhausted right now and experiencing a terrible roller coaster of emotions daily, but we are all here for you, willing this pain to pass as quickly as possible.
I just wanted to write to you as my dad did the whole predictable mid life crisis thing or running off with (a hideous woman)) someone 15 years younger than him when my brother and I were in our late teens. I won't go into the ins and outs and I know that your children are so much younger, but you may find that the three of you become an incredibly close unit (us against the world!!), because of it. The three of us were close before but since everything have become infinitely closer and there are some real positives in that. The other thing I wanted to reiterate is that although it seems that his life is all hunky dory at the moment, he will undoubtedly regret his stupidity down the line. Most likely he will wake up one day to find that you have moved on (and I guarantee you you will!), his children will rather be with you than him and he will regret being so utterly stupid and selfish. My dad left my lovely mum for this other woman and now has nothing. She left him (having rinsed him), he lost most of his friends and now says it was the biggest mistake of his life. That said, my mum moved on, worked so we could keep the house/eat and subsequently went on to meet a lovely lovely man who she later married. Having been so hurt and destroyed after 24 years of marriage, she is now happier than she ever was with my dad. You will be fine! More than fine, you will be brilliant and ultimately so much happier than with such a selfish and egotistical creature who does not deserve you or your beautiful children.
Lastly (and then I will stop rattling on!), the OW he is now with won't last I'm sure (they never do). I have always wondered how there are still women out there who could ever knowingly hurt another woman and children like this. She sounds like a real catch (as is your donkey of an ex). What goes around comes around and deep down they must both feel pretty disgusted with themselves with what they are putting you all through (even if they can't even admit it to themselves).
So....as others have said. Try to take each day at a time and trust that things WILL get better. Your children will as admire you so much as they grow up and realise what a strong and loving mother you are. He will realise he has fucked up, but by then it will be far too
late and you will have moved on to better things. Just try not to romanticise about how amazing he was and how happy you were. He lied and cheated on you when you were carrying his child and that alone is dispicable :(
Chin up Dolly! We all think you are a wonderful person and he is a horrible little creature not worthy of your tears. Sending you (and your DDs) huge hugs and slam him with papers next week. Give him a dose of reality, knowing that you are now in charge!!
Thinking of you xxxx