I never feel clean anymore. I've been contaminated and I can't get rid of that
Yes, you can get rid of it, honey. He's the skank, the unclean predator who strikes in the night after luring his prey into a false sense of security using his job as an equally false banner of honour.
He's a foul minded inadequate. A pathetic excuse for a man who can only get his rocks off by acts of sexual dominance.
He may have touched your body, my love, but he didn't touch you , the inner Crispy, the soul that remains inviolate no matter what abomination is visited on the physical body within which it's housed.
I'm sick of feeling like some kind of whore. Like I deserve what happened to me. I'm sick of thinking and rehashing and what I could have done different to make it not have happened
You're not a whore, honey. You're a woman who was duped; taken in by a well-practised sexual predator who has fooled many other women who, just like yourself, did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to deserve what he does to those he perceives as being weaker than himself.
In common with his other victims, and the countless numbers of women and girls who have been brutalised and raped by strangers, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you could have done to make it not have happened.
If you hadn't agreed to meet him, he would have no doubt kept up a charm offensive until you gave in and it would have been infinitely worse had this come about because you were flattered by his persistence.
Don't beat yourself up for this worthless turd, Crispy. Save the self-flagellation for your real sins - and this ain't one of them, my dear.