By the same token, I suppose you could say that some mils have problems because their sons are spineless, and won't speak out in defence of their mothers!
Absolutly!!! In some cases....
Most DILS i have read about on here - just what I have read on here - not in
" general" have had to put up with totally ghaslty situs - where the son cant really defend the DM because what she has done is usually " in defensible".
Personally from my personal experience and in my large - family - the DM's who have a good relationship with thier sons, perhaps more than one - seem to be fine with DILs. Some have few problems but nothing serious - just the usual shallow problems that mean nothing in the large picture. I have had BF with slighty tricky mothers but usually have had no problems myself.
The problems I have seen get more serious is where the DM has doted on one son, perhaps doesnt have a great marriage or much to occupy herself, is self centered, controlling in some way, has narrow views and isnt willing to be open to new ideas or people. On rare occasion its been because the DIL has been problematic - on paper - drinking too much or not in thier eyes being a good wife.....or the son has been moaning about the wife to the mother....and understandibly she is concerned about her son...and dislikes the woman making him unhappy.
Usually they havant had a good relationship with the son either - and the arrival of a serious partner then exasperates that problem....
I think we all understand that some people get on and some dont - and all the nuances and differences there can be between us all....
Most DILs on here are talking about specific problems where they feel most definatly targeted by thier MILs.