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Huffy, illiterate men, scared of peas, it's a weird, weird dating world (No22)

999 replies

ChaoticismyLife · 11/09/2012 15:10

Oh, watch...you mentioned flowers Grin

Tell us more...

OP posts:
snapespeare · 12/09/2012 10:58

yoga 'bad-dirty' or 'gooooooood-dirty?' ;-)

told you i could flirt for England....

OhWesternWind · 12/09/2012 11:12

Well, still no contact so I guess I will have to chalk that one up to experience! Feel a bit down but I did have a good night and at least I've got over the hurdle of having sex again. Can't understand where it went wrong but I suppose he was misrepresenting his intentions (not outright lying but lots of hints about doing things in the future, making me feel special) and I was taken in. Feel pretty stupid and naive but I will know for next time.

ScumbagCollegeDropout · 12/09/2012 11:16

Just about to leave for my very first date. Wish me luck!

Mr Shaggable-but-works-away-often just sent me a message on the site. Saying he would love to meet up. He will be back in the city in about 3-4 weeks time

bochead · 12/09/2012 11:21

sexlife? wots that? oh lord I'll have to buy new knickers as mine are all the wrong 50 shades of grey lol!

What's evow like and what's the diff between that and pof? May take a look at OK cupid next week after I've tweaked my profile to one that doesn't reel in the pervs & wolves, but instead attracts the "nice & normal" types.

watchoutforthatsnail · 12/09/2012 11:29

western, its happened to us all, you live and learn.
You wont have done anything wrong either, its just one of those things.....

Yoga - ill have a look at your cv tomorrow, ive had some very very very good news and my head is all over the place, so im not going to be at a pc today.

TimeForMeAndDD · 12/09/2012 11:34

Yoga go to the shop and buy chocolate, then come back home and spend the rest of the day on here. Do the course tomorrow Grin

KirstyWirsty · 12/09/2012 11:45

What's your good news watch??

Yogagirl17 · 12/09/2012 11:58

Well that plan went to shit (so what's new)! Didn't even make it out the door. Got stung by a wasp, my whole hand has swollen and now I'm sat on the sofa, laptop & telly on waiting for the antihistamines to kick in (which i know from experience will knock me senseless).

watch no worries, I need to reply to your questions as well. Glad you've had some good news!

Time - tomorrow I have far more important things to do (ahem, like a date with coffee man Grin)

bochead "mine are all the wrong 50 shades of grey* LOL - def treat yourself to some new knickers, whether or not you get a chance to show them off for a while you'll feel great for it!

WW I'm sorry, no advice, just hugs

snape - I'm not even going to answer that

Ok, I need advice about Irish man but my hand is throbbing too much to keep typing. I'll be back when the drugs kick in.

Lueji · 12/09/2012 12:04

No, no, no, no.
Yoga, do the course today.
But do buy some chocolate and have a little 5 min break every hour, though. :o

I think I agree with the 1st date ever thing, Sponge. Men tend to shoot in many directions and I suppose the first one tends to be experimental, with not much to compare. Or they were just lying.
Maybe make sure that it's not their first time or wait to actually go on dates until they actually have with other people.

In any case, it seems that most men do tend to be put off by successful women. That is not an advantage for a female, just for men.

Oh, and don't jump to conclusions about others being on the dating sites. Some people, particularly living alone, leave the computer on and logged on to sites. No reason to logout and it may give the impression that they are active, but they are not.

Scumbag, good luck.

And congratulations Watch.

Which leads to: do you think he is just not aware of those things, and needs to be made aware, or is he just trying to win you back and will revert soon?
Does he really want you as his gf, or does he think that's what you want? Because if he does, then it won't be fair to meet him to use for sex at weekends. If he thinks that's what you want, then he's just tricking you.
Personally, I'd prefer a clean break, or it might get too complicated.

Lueji · 12/09/2012 12:06

Ups, Yoga. (ignore previous post)

Have you put your hand on ice? Or at least under cold water?

Yogagirl17 · 12/09/2012 12:23

Thanks for the info Lueji, have ice, ibuprofen, antihistamines & chocolate

bochead · 12/09/2012 12:35

I don't think it's just men on the first date thing tbh. I'm too aware of how my self-imposed romantic exile has left me well out of touch and know it'll take me a while to get my head around the whole thing.

Gotta work out first how to talk to the opposite sex when they don't know my life story, or my cynical sense of humour. If I actually fancy the first attempt, at a date in the flesh, I'm likely to have a heart attack ffs!

How do you actually select who is worth meeting for a daytime coffee ? WTF do you wear for a first meet? Is a day time coffee an acceptable choice for a first meet or is it too tame?

Blimey I'm hopelessly outta touch! Please help!

Yogagirl17 · 12/09/2012 12:46

OK typing with left hand so this may take a while

was chatting on okc last week with a cute funny guy in ireland - not actually irish, american like me but lives in ireland. i was having fun but when he asked me to phone him i said sorry but i was really looking to meet someone nearby. left it a few days then heard from him again today. he says 'i find u charming u havent really given me a chance." so i sent him a serious reply saying basically, sorry you're right, i havnt really given u a chance but life as a single mum is hard enough, looking for jobs, running around after 2 young kids what I really want is something nice and easy, someone to meet for a drink or go to the cinema, dont really think u fit that bill."

but he's being really persistent -sent me another dozen or so messages. telling me about his daughter, says he can fly back and forth no problem, says he likes me, says he;d just like the chance to talk to me on the phone....

so now what (fuck, typing hurts Sad)

OhWesternWind · 12/09/2012 13:09

Hi Yoga. - hope your hands feeling better soon. Bloody wasps!

The Irish guy will probably only ever be a bit of fun if it even gets as far as you meeting. Just too long distance to build a proper relationship. If you are up for a bit of flirting and chatting then phone - why not? - but if you do arrange to meet up there will be a huge amount of pressure due to him having to fly over etc - might make it a bit

uncomfortable. And of course you might not get on but would you feel bad making your excuses after an hour in these circumstance?

OhWesternWind · 12/09/2012 13:10

Bit too persistent as well - probably I wouldn't feel comfortable with that.

DoingItForMyself · 12/09/2012 13:47

Bochead, coffee seems to be the done thing for a daytime date, its quick and easy so if you don't hit it off you only have to stay for 15 mins, but if you get on ok, you can make it last longer, get a 2nd one or turn it into lunch.

Wear what you feel comfortable in - everyone kept telling me I needed to wear heels and look gorgeous and glam, I decided to wear nice jeans but flat casual shoes, as that's more 'me' and then my date turned up in flip flops, jeans and and un-ironed shirt! He said he'd considered shorts, but thought that might be a bit too casual Confused but because i really fancied him, that was fine and we both felt comfortable!

DoingItForMyself · 12/09/2012 13:50

How did it go Scumbag?

Lueji · 12/09/2012 14:17

I agree that you should wear what you feel comfortable with and makes you feel confident too.

I have only gone in nice(ish) work clothes (that was also jeans for me). Not really sexy nor too frumpy.
And hardly any make up because I don't really do make up either.
I do normally wear some heels but definitely not platforms or stilettos.

The point is that they should like how you normally are, not what you think you should look like, or the glam version of yourself.

snapespeare · 12/09/2012 14:23

yoga hope your hands is feeling better soon. :-) I HATE wasps!

the prof has just left, fab sex. just fab. no foot went near my foof, there was no pissing. lots of lovely post-shag cuddling. :) he's seeing someone else at the moment, had two dates, hope it works out for him - he needs someone to have kids with. :-)

PM texted at a particularly intimate moment - we're going to the cinema on friday. phemerones. ping! ping! ping! ping!

MadameOvary · 12/09/2012 14:28

Bochead - I recently met a date in a cafe after dropping DD off at nursery. I wore a mini, thick tights, flat knee boots and vest with cardi on top. It was cosy comfy but not too mumsy.

OhWesternWind · 12/09/2012 14:32

Just had "Your profile is interesting. Do you like storms?" WTF??? By the way, there is no mention of weather in my profile, just some generic blurb about life being good but there's space for the right man kind of thing. . .

Lueji · 12/09/2012 14:52

BTW, Snape, I should have said earlier that you are a little like Sally, but PM is definitely Harry. Grin

Maybe you need to give him the Sally treatment.
I love you and can't do the friend stuff anymore. You make your mind up, couple or nothing.

snapespeare · 12/09/2012 15:02

oh don't make me watch 'when harry met sally' for inspiration. I've sat through '4 weddings and a funeral' in the last few weeks, surely that's enough!?

Lueji · 12/09/2012 15:12

It might be worth it, though.

But you could skip to the end.