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Huffy, illiterate men, scared of peas, it's a weird, weird dating world (No22)

999 replies

ChaoticismyLife · 11/09/2012 15:10

Oh, watch...you mentioned flowers Grin

Tell us more...

OP posts:
hatesponge · 26/09/2012 14:34

latest parts of the book are, like all the previous ones, just beautiful. I am completely in awe of your talent :)

snapespeare · 26/09/2012 14:39

I cheat a lot - a lot is decoupage - as much as I'd love to hand draw it all, I've only got about 4 weeks for 17 pages, so he'll just need to put up with a degree of shoddiness... What I do have is an excellent eye for colour and how things fit together so it'll look alright...

watchoutforthatsnail · 26/09/2012 14:45

Decoupage is a skill in itself, stop being modest :)

snapespeare · 26/09/2012 14:47

Oh ok, I'm fucking awesome, & PM would be a heartless idiot if this doesn't have the desired effect.

:D

OhWesternWind · 26/09/2012 14:50

Snape those pages are absolutely beautiful, just like the last ones. This is one lucky man to have someone make something like this for him. Amazing.

DoingItForMyself · 26/09/2012 14:52

Ah thanks for all the mini-profiles! I just felt like I was walking in mid-way through a film and couldn't get what was going on. Still, I will persevere and refer back to your helpful synopses if in doubt!

I'm 38, separated in June, have 3 DCs. Only registered on POF but so far (touch wood) seem to be meeting reasonably nice blokes. One I absolutely fell for after only one date, but he is tied up with a big work project and keeps going off the radar, so I have reluctantly had to move on (still hoping one day he will realise I am the one and rescue me from POF!)

Have a date tomorrow night (been out clothes shopping today as everything I own is hideous!) and I'm chatting to another guy I was supposed to go out with last week, but I was ill so postponed. Don't want to mess anyone around so I originally didn't want any overlaps, but it seems to be the done thing to have a few on the go at once, so I won't feel too bad.

Snape I love your book. I love painting and drawing too and will bear it in mind as a romantic gesture if/when I ever meet anyone worthy!

OhWesternWind · 26/09/2012 15:07

So DoingIt - what's tomorrow's date like then?

I have an unfortunate overlap at the moment, need to nicely and politely get rid of a very sweet guy and am finding it hard to do! I have a date tomorrow too, date number 2 (not with the one I need to get rid of), so fingers crossed it will all go okay . . .

NicholasTeakozy · 26/09/2012 15:20

Wow Snape, those new pages are beautiful.

Yogagirl17 · 26/09/2012 15:23

Snape - amazing, awesome, stunning, breathtaking.

XH is making my life a misery. Angry

watchoutforthatsnail · 26/09/2012 15:26

Whats he doing yoga?

hatesponge · 26/09/2012 15:28

I never managed to get more than one on the go at a time, though it did feel like a conveyor belt - contact, meet, dumped, and repeat :)

Was talking to 20something friend again today - she was telling me she is on 3rd date tomorrow with one she likes and is hoping there will be snogging. Is this normal? I have never ended a date (with anyone I've liked) without extensive snogging or indeed more. Have I been getting it wrong all along? Or am I just a shameless floozy?!Grin

watchoutforthatsnail · 26/09/2012 15:38

Sponge, the few ive had second dates with there has been no snogging on the first date. That might be because I took to having quick daytime dates. Or it might not. A lot of evening dates, where there was drink, tended to lead to snogging/ sex. Which I never heard from. So I decided those were too much effort ( outfit, effort to get ready, cost, time) especially so as it didn't lead anywhere....
A day time date was less effort, esp since most first dates don't lead anywhere.. but, less chance for snogging in costa.

Though I still firmly believe if they are just out for sex, then they are just out for sex, and there isn't anything you can do about it. Just maybe coffee dates lend themselves to less chance of shagging....

Does that make any sense? Just my opion.

watchoutforthatsnail · 26/09/2012 15:40

I wouldnt do an evening date as a first date if you paid me...

DoingItForMyself · 26/09/2012 15:46

I have only had one snog since H left, who was a friend previously, I fancied the pants off him, we went out for a drink ended up snogging, he promised to take me out for dinner next time and then he got cold feet and I haven't heard from him since! But at least it broke the drought and the next one will NOT be my first post-marriage snog now.

First bloke I met for coffee turned out to be 48 not 41 and kept trying to kiss me and being too touchy feely for my liking. Still keeps texting me after several weeks and me telling him I'm seeing other people. Idiot.

Didn't get any kissing off the gorgeous South African bloke I really liked :-( (known to my friends as MGB - massive gorgeous bloke) Gutted.

Tomorrow's date I found on POF (I have hidden my profile so I can choose who to contact) and have sent a few messages back & forth. He's 34, 2 daughters erm... not much else exciting to say really! Looks nice in his photos and is insisting that he is paying for dinner (not negotiable!) so either a proper gentleman or a control freak ;-)

I don't do lots of texting up front, just get in there and meet up. Will update you tomorrow night!

hatesponge · 26/09/2012 15:48

watch it does make sense. I do agree if sex is all men want (and to be fair I'd say that's the case with at kthe majority of men I've dated) then the outcome would be the same whatever you do or don't do post date.

The only daytime dates I've ever had have been with men I had absolutely no attraction to, all the rest I saw (and snogged) in the evening...

watchoutforthatsnail · 26/09/2012 15:55

Sponge, might it be the booze that made the others more attractive? Would you have fancied them as much in Starbucks?
( just a question......)
Ive had some wicked boozy dates where ive had the best time, none of which I would have seriously dated....

So, I went with coffee, then if it went to a second date,then go out in the evening. Less chance of beer goggles... And less money wasted on taxis :)

Id go as far as saying 75% are after only sex. Actually maybe more.

Hope it goes well doing :)

hatesponge · 26/09/2012 16:19

Yes good luck doing!

watch I was going to say 75%, then thought MAYBE I was being unfair :)

Would I have snogged them all without a drink? Probably yes - there's only be 2 dates where I've been properly drunk (The Scotsman and ScaredofPeas) all the others I've only had 2 drinks at most so pretty much sober!

Have also remembered that Mr NotReadyforaCommitment was daytime date, and there was much snogging then Blush. and of course the same outcome...

watchoutforthatsnail · 26/09/2012 16:29

haha, scared of peas :)

i reckon it might be higher than 75% if you remember the IE experiment.......

well, if you would have snogged them, doesnt matter, I do totally think, they have their own intentions, you have no idea what they might be, despite what they and their profiles say, So, you play it how you want it. And as long as you are happy with that, then its ok.
Noone can trick/ trap a man into dating her by not snogging/ with holding sex, it just doesnt work like that. End of the day you want somone who wants you for you, and if thats snogging on the first date, then its snogging on the first date :)

DoingItForMyself · 26/09/2012 16:40

What was the IE experiment watch ?

snapespeare · 26/09/2012 16:44

Contemplating changing ,y MN name to 'snapespearescaredofpeas'....

Yogagirl17 · 26/09/2012 16:49

watch, he is just a manipulative bully. I'm getting better at not reacting but it still gets to me. We need to have an important discussion about DD. I know it's not going to go well so I don't want her around to hear us argue about it. But he just sends me email after email, "This is what DD told me, I assume you never said such a thing to her" (I didn't), "This is when I will come over to discuss it" (told him that didn't suit), "I don't see why that doesn't suit you I'll just come anyway", "Obviously if you that doesn't suit you then helping DD sort this out isn't important to you", "Clearly you don't care that she's upset", "Well, on second thought there is nothing to discuss, this is what has to happen, end of discussion."AngrySadAngrySad

And this all comes hot on the heels of last weekend's stunt where he "accidentally" introduced the DCs to OW.

Having someone nice to shag snog might help. ;)

Yogagirl17 · 26/09/2012 16:51

I think we should all add "scaredofpeas' to our names Grin

yogagirlscaredofpeas....?

snapespeare · 26/09/2012 16:57

yogagirl what a fucking tosser. At least (small consolation) you can see what he's doing, he's over-compensating for his own guilt by attempting to be dad of the year, on his bullying manipulative terms. Angry. Twat.

watchoutforthatsnail · 26/09/2012 17:25

Yoga, gah, It's exhausting, isn't it. And infuriating. I was back at my solicitors this summer over my ex husbands abusive behavior. We have been separated nearly 4 years, you would think he would let it go.
Just disengage. It's hard, but what else can you do. Sorry, tis crap.

Doing, the ie experiment, was the ' intimate encounter' experiment.
Lubey Said it was a good way to meet a more casual relationship, something between a fwb and a full blown thing. So, we set our profiles to that setting, made it very very clear we weren't after casual sex, were clear about what we did....
100's upon 100's of messages a.day, you wouldn't believe it.
Lots just after sex, some crude, some nice, the majority of men with profiles saying what a genuine man, how they wanted to settle down etc.....

It was very, very interesting, I dont think any of us would have believed it if we hadn't have done it.

More interesting were the messages from men who had asked me out, then vanished, then decided what I wanted was right... Explained their reason for vanishing as thinking I wanted a relationship and that was too much... Even though their Profile said the same...

OhWesternWind · 26/09/2012 17:26

The three I've had/am shortly having second dates with have been 1 loads and loads of snogging but didn't carry on past date 2; 2 no snogging at all, just a peck on the lips and 3 snogging but not of a hugely rampant variety - hope there's more tomorrow (well I'm sure there will be as it was me that stopped it last time). Yes I admit it, I'm playing it a bit cooler, wouldn't go so far as to say cool though.

All the one-date guys except one (very minor snog) have been no snogging or contact at all.

So actually that's two and a half snogs, not too voracious really!

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